Opinions Please (kind of long)

zeitsev · October 2010

Hi, I am not a regular poster but tend to lurk daily when I have a free moment.

I got my wedding dress at Priscilla of Boston and decided to look at their bridesmaid dresses. I sent my bridesmaids the links to the four dresses I liked that complemented my dress and style of the wedding with the estimated price range ($180-$220). I also included in the email that if the prices were too much to let me know. They all seemed to like one of the dresses but some also mentioned how they were hoping they could save up enough money to afford it since it was the most expensive one. No one stated it was too expensive but having been a bridesmaid myself a number of times I am uncomfortable with the thought of my friends having to spend so much money on a dress they'll potentially only wear once.

I am a grad student so am not making money and my bridesmaids don't make a ton of money either. I am not expecting them to buy the same shoes and accessories or get their hair and nails done. My MOH said that she prefers to spend more money on a nicer dress that could be worn again (the dress they chose is light as feather and sleek) so she is ok with the price. When I ask my other friends their thoughts they tell me it's beautiful and are fine with it. I just feel worried I could be doing the wrong thing.

My question is this: Should I keep the dresses as my final choice or find ones that are less expensive?

raangoli · October 2010

I think you should go with your gut, which seems to be telling you that the dress is too expensive from what you've said. You know that your friends don't have a lot of money to spare on the dress and it seems like they are willing to go along with what you want. I'd take the initiative to find a cheaper dress that is similiar in style. I am sure your friends will appreciate it (and you) in the long run.

peaches85 · October 2010

Personally, I would keep looking if I were you. Even though no one flat out said the dress is too expensive, I think the fact that some of them suggested it in a round-about way is a clear indication that they don't feel comfortable purchasing a dress that expensive. And, while your MOH said she'd wear the dress again, the chances of all (or any) of them truly re-wearing the dress are slim to none.

Laurms15 · October 2010

I think you need to offer them a less expensive option and if they all still prefer the more expensive dress then thats up to them. But since regardless they will be spending money you should allow them to choose what they find most comfortable.

Danes983 · October 2010

I agree with pp. Of course they are going to tell you its fine. But I bet they are all talking about how its too expensive to eachother. I would keep looking. U still have like another month or so before you need to make any final decisions.

kwilkinson14 · October 2010

If your friends have mentioned in passing that they need to save up the money it is probably too expensive. Maybe this was their way of telling you as well. I would try to find other dresses that are more affordable. There are plenty of designers who are less expensive. I went with Alfred Angelo as none of my BM are paying more than $150 for their dresses. The line comes in a variety of fabrics, colors, and styles. GL!

kristen8040 · October 2010

By saying they have to save up money, these girls are telling you they are too expensive. As much as they might wear them again, I know I personally would rather have the money now than a nice dress.

jrgoogrl · October 2010

I agree with PPer's. I would keep looking. See if you can find a similiar style but at a more comfortable price for your BM's. If after looking and showing them other styles they say they still like the first dress, then you know it's ok. But, since no one came out directly and said they're aren't comfortable paying it, but doing it in a round about way I would keep looking.

mbcdefg · October 2010

I think a better option would've been to say, "Please let me know what you can afford for a dress" BEFORE you sent them links to dresses you liked.

By sending them the dress links, I think it kind of pressures them into saying yes, even if they can't afford them (and even though you clearly didn't intend it that way). Because they won't want to disappoint you, they won't want to be the solo loser bridesmaid who's "too cheap" to pay for it, and/or because they don't want to be the "biitch" who rains on the bride's parade.

So I'd start all over by e-mailing or calling each of them to ask for a good price point. That way, each girl can tell you her price in private and won't be embarrassed in front of the other girls. Then take the lowest quote, and only look for designers in that price range, so that everyone can easily afford it.

Alternatively, if MOH is really the only one who's O.K. with spending that much ... put her in the POB dress so she stands out a bit, and put the other BMs in a more affordable dress so that they are happy too.

kasabby · October 2010

I agree with all the PP's. It seems that you are unsure of your decision and you are re-thinking it so that is the first indication. Then there is the fact that some of them told you they had to save up for it.

I would see if you can find a similar dress style that is a little cheaper.

lknud819 · October 2010

I always get emails from POB about 10% off for bridesmaid dresses and if you purchased your gown there they may offer discounts for the bridal party, so you can always call them to ask if they offer any type of discount or sign up online and wait to see if you get any emails from them about bridesmaid dresses.

zeitsev · October 2010

Thank you so much for all the opinions! I think I am going to reconsider looking for a different designer. It really helped to read all the feedback I received on this board!

Opinions Please (kind of long)

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