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Always something worse...

calindicalindi member
First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
in Military Brides
How many of you read TKPS?  I occasionally skim it since it's interesting to see what people have going on behind closed doors or inside their heads.

I saw this one today, and thought of you all.  You know how we tell girls not to lie to their guests if they already got married?  I can only imagine this will blow up in their faces!  She's married to someone else!

http://theknotpostsecret.tumblr.com/post/8632364198

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Re: Always something worse...

  • Sammy0709Sammy0709 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    That's...different. I feel like someone will figure something out and sh*t will hit the fan. My vision is of the moment when the officials says "speak now or forever hold your peace" or however it goes.
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  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Well, I have seen some good justifications before but this one takes the cake. I can't believe her FI is ok with that. I would NEVER EVER be ok with that if it was my relationship. 
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  • mob2689mob2689
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    Wow! Well my question is how will they get married by a JOP? They will still need a license or proof of their original marrage if it will be "handled" as a VR. Either way w/o a licence they are not legally married. Lying to a JOP too bott!?!  They would have to do that as well.

    This is an interesting read on that subject:
    http://www.ehow.com/info_7931536_happens-married-marry-someone-else.html

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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    http://theknotpostsecret.tumblr.com/post/5453166351

    ETA: I can't look away.. I have so much to do, but I can't stop clicking on these!!
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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_always-something-worse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b7c83c73-db6b-47ed-9e73-febed01f292aPost:40f1cc84-70e2-47b1-93f7-d2e45b21c86b">Re: Always something worse...</a>:
    [QUOTE]<a href="http://theknotpostsecret.tumblr.com/post/5453166351" rel='nofollow'>http://theknotpostsecret.tumblr.com/post/5453166351</a> ETA: I can't look away.. I have so much to do, but I can't stop clicking on these!!
    Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

    Nothing like a cheater to say they don't trust someone.  I always found when dating that the most jealous and distrustful guys were those who were least deserving of trust and most likely to cheat themselves...

    Trashy.  I'm sure it happens, but it's not like a cheater needs a deployment to cheat.  Civilians cheat all the time, too.  It's a personal thing, not a military thing.

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  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    C-it definitely happens civilian as well, I think its just more noticeable military. I look at my apartment complex and how many people I saw cheating. It's like they don't bother to hide they are married and what not.

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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_always-something-worse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b7c83c73-db6b-47ed-9e73-febed01f292aPost:02f4f537-3f79-49ce-bba4-a2a779fabc05">Re: Always something worse...</a>:
    [QUOTE]C-it definitely happens civilian as well, I think its just more noticeable military. I look at my apartment complex and how many people I saw cheating. It's like they don't bother to hide they are married and what not.
    Posted by ggirl2001[/QUOTE]


    Yep, more noticable, more opportunity, sometimes less risk (especially when deployed - not like your wife will catch you with someone's else's lipstick on your collar, you know?).  And possibly more accepted, sadly, especially among the young crowd. 

    But still, you can't ensure your husband will be loyal if he's not military, and vice versa.  I feel like it probably sounds naive, but I believe 100% that my FI will never cheat on me.  We'd divorce before he'd do that, he's just so disgusted by the very idea of cheating.  There's nothing that pisses him off more than someone flirting with him who knows he's taken. And I've definitely dated guys where I knew that wasn't true!

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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
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    edited December 2011
    Do you have any friends/people you know who've experienced their SO cheating on a deployment?
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  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I've been lucky that it hasn't been too much in our group of friends. Only a few of H's close friends are in relationships and I don't know their SO's since they aren't married and don't live here.I do know that some of the guys in his shop have cheated, but I don't know them or their wives and H doesn't really associate with them on a regular basis other than work and random get togethers.  The ones I've seen are people who are just acquaintances, i.e. end up at the same apartment for a party and we get talking, find out their spouse is deployed and then they end up in a closet with a guy.  True story, that happened.
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Heck yes...
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  • calindicalindi member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_always-something-worse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b7c83c73-db6b-47ed-9e73-febed01f292aPost:637210d9-372b-49fa-ba6b-dfa938ef6530">Re: Always something worse...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you have any friends/people you know who've experienced their SO cheating on a deployment?
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    Me?  Yep, an Army wife with young kids, very sad! I have a friend who is a Navy pilot who has been a cheater himself while on deployment, too.  I met an enlisted guy at FI's law depot this summer (apparently enlisted do law clerk type stuff in the office, so I'm told, since they're not lawyers) and apparently it came out shortly after FI came home that the enlisted guy was cheating the whole time with the wife of one of the head prosecutor, a Major.  Erm, awkward!

    And I was cheated on by my first boyfriend and my first serious boyfriend, so I should probably be more distrusting, but I'm not.  I've definitely been more suspicious of previous boyfriends, but I don't have a jealous bone in my body.  The way I figure, if they're going to cheat and I find out about it, they weren't worth the energy and stress it would take to be jealous in the first place.  So I trust until I have a reason not to, but even with other boyfriends I knew that they could cheat, I just didn't think they would.  With my FI now, I really just don't think it's in him because he's just so repulsed by cheating of any kind.

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  • ggirl2001ggirl2001 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto C. H and I trust each other so much that it wouldn't even enter our minds. In fact, when H was talking about married, a lot of the guys and including those above him were like "don't do it, she's gonna cheat etc etc". They don't know me but I didn't take offense because most of the guys saying it were guys who found out their wife cheated on deployment so I get it. H goes to them, "If she cheats, I would probably be shocked to death because that's just not her". We both come from relationships were our parents cheated on each other so we had this discussion like 3 weeks into our relatonship. We both know we would never do it.
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  • sofiabriansofiabrian
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I'm at a loss of words. That is absolutely deplorable. And how could her FI be okay with that!?!? Seriously what is wrong with people...

    Let's Hike -I know a woman in the Marines who cheated on her boyfriend while she was on vacation.. Her bf is also in the Marine Corps and good friends with DH. The guy found out and was devastated. Needless to say their relationship ended immediately.

    Calindi - you are not being naive! DH has 100% faith in me as I have in him :) I had a former bf who cheated on me, and I was crushed. It was the worst feeling in the world, and I would NEVER do that to anyone.
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  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think I'm the most naive person on the planet. For real.
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  • mob2689mob2689
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I know I had seen it alot of times while ex was in the military, it's like a soap opra if you will, when it comes to cheating spouses and the military honestly any job that requires alot of travel but since the base is a "community"  and more concentrated with ppl that travel alot is why it's so easy to hear/know ppl that it has happened to.
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  • DaKelliAB09DaKelliAB09
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ditto pretty much what everyone else has already said. 

    I agree that cheating happens just as much in the civilian world as it does in military.  I don't feel like it's fair to categorize people in the military as cheaters.  It happens everywhere.  I think it's sad.  As shocking as it is, sometimes I feel like our society today (especially with social networking) thrives off of drama and things like this.  Peoples noses are always in other peoples' business and it's plastered all over the news and TV and movies so I feel like, sadly, it's becoming more acceptable.  It's nice to have conversations and to be involved in a "community" like this that takes a stand against it. 

    I've been cheated on before by someone I was serious with.   Worst feeling ever.  I would never wish that feeling on anybody.  It really sucked, but it makes me appreciate what I do have now.  I'm glad I caught it and I'm glad I've learned from it.  I also do agree that usually when someone is super jealous and in my case controling it's a HUGE sign.  That's what happened with me and I found out he was cheating.

    FI and I trust eachother 100% .  I don't think it's naive at all.  I see friends of mine in relationships and they have a lack of trust because of what they've been through in the past  but the lack of trust leads to jealousy and fighting  and they're just plain miserable.

    FI and I talk about it and I guess he sees things or hears of people who have cheated and he's just so disgusted by it.  We both are.  I could never see him ever cheating on me.  It would shock me maybe to death if he ever did.  

    Sorry, I just rambled on forever...
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  • LOLwaysLOLways
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    A military girl I work with has been on several deployments, so has her H (H#2). He cheated on his last deployment. She didn't get into it with my as to why she forgave him and they're still married, but them having lots of kids between the two of them and previous marriages might've had something to do with it.
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    wow just wow. 
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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  • KendallR10KendallR10 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    http://theknotpostsecret.tumblr.com/post/7516864663

    this one made me cry
    Military Brides December 2011 Siggy. Holiday picture with your SO. We suck and don't have one :/ Those who matter don't mind and those who mind don't matter.
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    5 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_always-something-worse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:b7c83c73-db6b-47ed-9e73-febed01f292aPost:637210d9-372b-49fa-ba6b-dfa938ef6530">Re: Always something worse...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you have any friends/people you know who've experienced their SO cheating on a deployment?
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    Growing up on bases, and now having almost all of my friends in one of the branches, as well as being around the squadron a lot, Oh Yeah.
    It's so sad, and disgusting, but yup. big time.
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  • SarahP787SarahP787
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_always-something-worse?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:b7c83c73-db6b-47ed-9e73-febed01f292aPost:637210d9-372b-49fa-ba6b-dfa938ef6530">Re: Always something worse...</a>:
    [QUOTE]Do you have any friends/people you know who've experienced their SO cheating on a deployment?
    Posted by LetsHikeToday[/QUOTE]

    FI knows several people this happened to, but as far as I recall it was all very young couples. The only one I know of wasn't on deployment at all, it was an AD wife cheating on her civilian husband while they were both stateside. She may have kept it up when she deployed, I'm not sure. Moral of the story - cheating doesn't have much to do with the deployment, it has to do with the people in the relationship!
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  • crownsuperstarcrownsuperstar member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011

    So would this be like "Brother Husbands" wow!! That is craziness!!! Sad, weird and crazy.  How in the world does someone forget to get divorced?  I would think that is not something you forget to do.

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