No kids

mica178 · April 2010

My fiance and I already know that we don't want kids at our reception.

We sent out the STDs already since most of his family lives on the other end of the country. We made sure that the envelopes were just addressed to the invited people ("Mr. and Mrs. John Smith," not "The Smith Family"), but now I'm not sure if people are just going to make assumptions and plan to bring their kids.

Can I put somewhere on my wedding website (in the Reception Information section, perhaps) something like this? "No children, please. We would be happy to help arrange for a babysitter for the evening."

I just don't want our OOT guests to get a nasty slap in the face in this summer when they receive an invitation for 2 when they've already booked plane tickets for 4. And I think it'd be funny to call every person on my FI's guestlist who's received an STD to make sure they know not to bring their kids when the invitations haven't gone out. Right?

Advice, please!!!

kate51485 · April 2010

Advice?

Please lurk.

shellydiane820 · April 2010

You should read the board, there's about 5 posts in the last 24 hours about this.

If they RSVP more than you invited, you call them and tell them that children aren't attending the wedding.

btrflykate1230 · April 2010

Call them and tell them their precious little snowflakes aren't allow to come if they RSVP with kids. Done.

J&K10910 · April 2010

Hate to burst a bubble here, but I think the OP has a legit concern if a lot of guests are OOT. Some people MIGHT think that kids are invited and make flight arrangements. Then wtf are they supposed to do?

jajph1974 · April 2010

I think she's trying to prevent her OOT guests that got a STD from booking extra flights etc.

OP, it's FI's family, right? Maybe his mother can do word of mouth?

shellydiane820 · April 2010

Wouldn't you wait to book a flight until you RSVP? Even then, there's still time to either book a flight/cancel a flight.

Mrs.B6302007 · April 2010

I would ask FMIL to get it out word of mouth. Most people may not travel OOT w/o their kids or bring them and leave them with a stranger babysitter so the sooner this is clarified, the better.

ExpatPumpkin · April 2010

Why don't you put on your website something like "Please let us know if you'd like for us to arrange baby-sitting services for during the reception."

If you're having a lot of OOT family members come in, they'll probably want to bring their kids... Kids will want to see Grandma and vice versa. So you'll need to accept that kids will probably be in town.

If we had kids and flew to a wedding in my mom's town, there's no way I'd leave the kids at home. I only see my mom once a year or so, so I'm sure she'd want to see her grandkids. This doesn't mean I'd bring them to the wedding, just that they'd be in town.

mica178 · April 2010

Thanks for all the advice! I'll talk with my FMIL and ask that she get the word out gently.

I received an email this morning from some future in-laws that they already booked their plane tickets (that's right, more than 6 months in advance, all just based on a STD -- who does that?). These particular people don't have kids, but I started worrying about people with kids who are taking advantage of tickets sales going on.

jajph1974 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:49b00f4a-74c0-45a0-bc04-2a2be1f1d9d2Post:d37f3e2d-0713-42e8-a048-e67a7e9963fd">Re: No kids</a>:
[QUOTE]Wouldn't you wait to book a flight until you RSVP? Even then, there's still time to either book a flight/cancel a flight.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

Don't they charge you for cancelling a flight? I've never cancelled one, so I could be wrong.

kate51485 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:49b00f4a-74c0-45a0-bc04-2a2be1f1d9d2Post:6728a66e-0aae-4b84-8b12-294b7e65beba">Re: No kids</a>:
[QUOTE]Hate to burst a bubble here, but I think the OP has a legit concern if a lot of guests are OOT. Some people MIGHT think that kids are invited and make flight arrangements. Then wtf are they supposed to do?
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I suppose that's true. It just wouldn't occur to me to make travel arrangements for a ton of people that far in advance without even RSVPing.

J&K10910 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:49b00f4a-74c0-45a0-bc04-2a2be1f1d9d2Post:d37f3e2d-0713-42e8-a048-e67a7e9963fd">Re: No kids</a>:
[QUOTE]Wouldn't you wait to book a flight until you RSVP? Even then, there's still time to either book a flight/cancel a flight.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

See, i thought the whole point of STDs was to give people time to plan, including making travel arrangements. Often it's cheaper to book flights more than 6 weeks in advance so you better believe I would be, if I knew for a fact I was going.

tidetravel · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:49b00f4a-74c0-45a0-bc04-2a2be1f1d9d2Post:d03b741d-8f4b-4827-8dd7-7661119572f6">Re: No kids</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for all the advice! I'll talk with my FMIL and ask that she get the word out gently. I received an email this morning from some future in-laws that they already <strong>booked their plane tickets (that's right, more than 6 months in advance, all just based on a STD -- who does that?).</strong> These particular people don't have kids, but I started worrying about people with kids who are taking advantage of tickets sales going on.
Posted by mica178[/QUOTE]

Presumably, the reason that you sent STDs in the first place was to give OOT guests the chance to make travel arrangements. So... yeah.

kate51485 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:49b00f4a-74c0-45a0-bc04-2a2be1f1d9d2Post:c0a017f7-c51c-4407-8c4f-bccf3c40c3ac">Re: No kids</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No kids : See, i thought the whole point of STDs was to give people time to plan, including making travel arrangements. Often it's cheaper to book flights more than 6 weeks in advance so you better believe I would be, if I knew for a fact I was going.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

I think I would for just myself -- if it were dependent on a bunch of kids that may or may not end up being able to go, I think I'd wait longer.

shellydiane820 · April 2010

I always looked at STDs as "We're getting married on this day" just as a warning. I wouldn't book a flight that far in advance because STDs come out so early.

I think you get charged if you cancel close to the flight. If you give them enough notice, there's usually not a cancellation fee (at least in my experience)

J&K10910 · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:49b00f4a-74c0-45a0-bc04-2a2be1f1d9d2Post:ad77e3a7-9d91-4b2c-b25c-b4f1b1381d22">Re: No kids</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No kids : I think I would for just myself -- if it were dependent on a bunch of kids that may or may not end up being able to go, I think I'd wait longer.
Posted by kate51485[/QUOTE]

Well yeah, but some people will not realize that their darlings are not invited. Fact proven by every single post about people freaking out that someone RSVPed their kids for their no kids wedding. So you have a headstart on the not so bright of the world.

ZoeTheDog · April 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_kids-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:49b00f4a-74c0-45a0-bc04-2a2be1f1d9d2Post:c0a017f7-c51c-4407-8c4f-bccf3c40c3ac">Re: No kids</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No kids : See, i thought the whole point of STDs was to give people time to plan, including making travel arrangements. Often it's cheaper to book flights more than 6 weeks in advance so you better believe I would be, if I knew for a fact I was going.
Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]

Yeah I agree I thought that's why I sent them...or was it just to spend more money?

JessAndTrav · April 2010

You shouldn't put it in the invitations, but you should let them know that you'd prefer that their rugrats not attend your wedding.

You can offer a babysitter during the wedding, but that's about all that you can do, and they don't have to use the babysitter.

Know that if they can't get someone to watch the little dumplings back home, then they may not come at all.

pumpkinpumpkin · April 2010

You could put on your website - if you're listing times and such that the "Adult Reception" begins at X:00. Ya' know? Spread your concerns via word of mouth as well.

sap82478 · April 2010

Also.. be on the lookout... EVEN if it says no kids.. SOME WILL BRING THEM... UGH...people have no respect..... We are having this argument as well.. I have 4 kids standing up 2 jr bridesmaids and a ring bearer and Flowr girl.. I know htey will be gone by a certain time.... HOWEVER.. my Fiance seems to think since we have a lot of out of towners, we should invite.. thats like 25 more plates... UGH...

My MOH already said.. she will make it perfectly clear, at the shower and when they do invitaitons that NO KIDS ARE ALLOWED....:) just have a back up plan if the little tikes are there...

No kids

Re: No kids

Choose Another Board

Search Boards