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Wedding Etiquette Forum

Rehearsal Dinner Question

My fiance and I have to pay for our rehearsal dinner.  Is it rude to keep only the bridal party and grandparents at the rehearsal dinner.  We aren't trying to be rude, but I am still in school for another couple months and my finace is the one who is paying for the bulk of the rehearsal dinner.  I will contribute as much as I can.

Or, does anybody have any good ideas how to keep the rehearsal dinner costs down so that we can invite more of the family?

Re: Rehearsal Dinner Question

  • libby2483libby2483 member
    1000 Comments 250 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2013
    When you say wedding party and grandparents, you aren't talking about excluding your parents, are you?  Because that would be a bit odd, unless none of your parents are invited to the wedding (which could be possible - I don't know your situation).  Anyone who comes to the rehearsal (and their SO) needs to be invited to the rehearsal dinner.  Anyone else is optional and does not need to be invited if you are trying to cut costs.  Remember that the rehearsal dinner doesn't need to be at a restaurant.  Grill out, order pizza, or get BBQ or subs catered at your house.  It can be casual and doesn't need to break the bank.
  • You can absolutely just have people over your house with sub trays, pizza, cheese and crackers, baked ziti, chips, soda.. You get the idea. You don't even need alcohol. Maybe a few bottles of wine if you really want it. For under 200 dollars you could have a fabulous dinner with all the people you want around you instead of paying the typical 500 to 1000 I've heard of rehearsal dinners at restaurants costing.
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  • The only people who HAVE to be invited to the RD is the people who are invited to the rehearsal and their significant others.  Anyone else is just extra.  And you can have something casual in your home or a park or wherever you want as PP's have mentioned..  We had ours at a little family Italian restaurant that H and I love.  
  • edited January 2013
    You do need to invite the SOs of the bridal party members to the dinner as well.  

    ETA: I saw Loopy included that already...it's too early!
  • We are tight on money as well for our RD, we are having the bridal party with significant others, parents & grandparents over to my mom's house for pizza, wings, and soda.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_rehearsal-dinner-question-14?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:63e77636-a6b9-40c6-b228-89c40f11c636Post:f6741945-6144-4356-afa0-f63e86d3a996">Re: Rehearsal Dinner Question</a>:
    [QUOTE]We are tight on money as well for our RD, we are having the bridal party with significant others, parents & grandparents over to my mom's house for pizza, wings, and soda.
    Posted by Carson386[/QUOTE]

    <div>Carson's RD might work well for you, and it sounds really fun--nothing fancy is necessary, go with something like this!</div>
  • PPs give excellent suggestions.  Another option would be to scrap the rehearsal altogether so that you don't have to have a RD.  Does your ceremony venue and/or officiant require you to have a rehearsal?  If your ceremony is pretty straight forward, you may be able to get away with not rehearsing at all.
  • If you do want to do a restaurant RD, one suggestion is to pick a favorite of yours and your FH and book a small, private room. That way, you have the easy excuse of "Our RH venue space can only accomodate members of the bridal party, sorry!" That's what we're doing for ours - my mom was a bit upset at first, since the extravagant weddings our cousins in the past have always included everyone on the guest list at the RD. Personally, I think that's just crazy - that's what the wedding for! When I explained about the space, and the fact that we picked it because the venue has special meaning for FH and I, she calmed down quite a bit.
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  • Thank You everybody!  That helped out quite a bit!  I was thinking about inviting the wedding party, thier SO, grandparents and the parents only.  But to think that I can do it at my own home and does not have to be fancy helps our a bunch.  That way I think I can invite out of town family coming in as well!
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