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Does this make me tacky?

twohollydaystwohollydays member
100 Comments
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
In my area attending the ceremony only isnt a big deal and sometimes people like church members etc ask to just come and watch that. If asked about the ceremony does my telling the person the location make me tacky?
I think that if asked it would be miore hurtful to the person for me to not want to disclose the location than to give the info.
I dont do any wedding talk with those not invited but I am curious as to if the small intimate wedding reply still applies in this case?
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Re: Does this make me tacky?

  • Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    If your wedding takes place in a church, often it is open and anyone can observe.  If it's a private ceremony somewhere other than a house of worship, then yes, that would be weird. 

    Sometimes Churches print ceremony details in their bulletins if it's a member or member's family getting married so people know.  Then they may show up or not. 
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  • katieisawesomekatieisawesome
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-tacky-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fd2de283-ece1-40b1-bc0d-8b8e9e894efbPost:bb497e69-1b2a-4070-bcb9-2bb65d562e1d">Re: Does this make me tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If your wedding takes place in a church, often it is open and anyone can observe.  If it's a private ceremony somewhere other than a house of worship, then yes, that would be weird.  Sometimes Churches print ceremony details in their bulletins if it's a member or member's family getting married so people know.  Then they may show up or not. 
    Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

    <div>^ This.</div>
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  • twohollydaystwohollydays member
    100 Comments
    edited May 2011
    It is in a church and it is pretty large. I booked it before I knew exactly how big my guestlist would be. My only concern with people coming to view the bceremony is the programs. I would need extra.
    I dont say anything about it at work as I cannot afford to invite my coworkers unfortunately. I was just wondering if it is wrong on my part to give the information if asked by a church member, coworker, or friend that I wasnt able to invite.
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  • Habs2HartHabs2Hart member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I think if someone asked where it is, you can tell them.  But maybe not give them all the details.  Otherwise it seems like you are inviting them, and that is wrong. 

    Example "twohollydays, where is your wedding?"

    "It's at such and such church". 

    Totally fine, but if you say, Such and such church at 2:00 pm and say they should come, that would be inviting and that would be rude.  So I would just leave it as is and if people find out and come, then that's okay. 
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  • twohollydaystwohollydays member
    100 Comments
    Yes, I totally get it. That is why I dont say a word to people we cannot afford to invite. It is too uncomfortable and Ive heard many HORROR stories of tier receptions and ceremony only invites so I opted to avoid the hassle of both and just invite who I could afford to host propperly and keep quiet!
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-tacky-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:fd2de283-ece1-40b1-bc0d-8b8e9e894efbPost:88d2c303-ead0-4458-9807-b91e24654e7d">Re: Does this make me tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>I think if someone asked where it is, you can tell them.  But maybe not give them all the details.  Otherwise it seems like you are inviting them, and that is wrong. </strong> Example "twohollydays, where is your wedding?" "It's at such and such church".  Totally fine, but if you say, Such and such church at 2:00 pm and say they should come, that would be inviting and that would be rude.  So I would just leave it as is and if people find out and come, then that's okay. 
    Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.</div>
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  • achiduckachiduck member
    5000 Comments 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-tacky-3?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:fd2de283-ece1-40b1-bc0d-8b8e9e894efbPost:bb497e69-1b2a-4070-bcb9-2bb65d562e1d">Re: Does this make me tacky?</a>:
    [QUOTE]If your wedding takes place in a church, often it is open and anyone can observe.  If it's a private ceremony somewhere other than a house of worship, then yes, that would be weird.  Sometimes Churches print ceremony details in their bulletins if it's a member or member's family getting married so people know.  Then they may show up or not. 
    Posted by Habs2Hart[/QUOTE]
    This.

    At my church it's published in the monthly letter/calendar. The Sunday before the ceremony the pastor makes an announcement that the couple are getting married and if anyone can show just cause why they shouldn't come forward before the cermony or forever keep silent. The pastor doesn't ask the question again during the ceremony so their isn't that awkward 15 second silence.
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