Gifts to Our Parents

kimiandgary · January 2012

I had thought it was customary for the bride and groom to give gifts to their parents either at the rehearsal dinner or on the day of the wedding as a thank you for everything they have done. First question is, who is doing this and what kinds of gifts are you/did you give?

Secondly, I am much closer to my parents than my FI is to his mother and step-dad. I want to get everyone sentimental things, but their family doesn't really cherish those items or have a bond that makes it feel appropriate. Do we get them the same things? How do I insure everyone feels adequately thanked?

dscolorado · January 2012

This is a great question and one I am thinking about too. Since your FI's parents aren't as into sentimental things as yours (his family sounds like mine) I would focus on getting something they would really like instead of getting the same thing for everyone. My FI and I are going to be giving gifts to our parents as if it was their birthday: something they would really want and would enjoy.

I do not know what the custom is but I was thinking of giving the gifts at the intimate family brunch we are doing the morning after the wedding.

CEMurphy04 · January 2012

I am not sure about official customs but if your FI is not as close to his parents as you are to yours, you can give your gifts to your family in private so no awkward situations is created. I will most likely do more but right now, I am planning on getting a few hankerchiefs and getting different things embroidered on it and then add the date. My dads will say something like, "Out of all the walks we have taken together, this will, by far, be my favorite" or something to that effect.

PhiSigFly · January 2012

My dad/stepmom and FIs parents are sentimental, whereas my mom really isn't. We're giving my dad/stepmom a double picture frame that says, "Always your daughter" at the top, and the bottom is engraved to say "Whether Sweet 16 or Blushing Bride" with a picture of my dad and I dancing at my Sweet 16, and then a place for a picture of our wedding day. We're doing the same for his parents, but with a picture from his Bar Mitzvah. For my mom, I'm giving her a crystal vase, and will just say something in the card about her helping me grow/bloom.

AurorasEnvy · January 2012

I hadn't heard of this custom before I got on TK. I kind of mentioned it to my parents and they seemed weirded out and definitely weren't expecting a gift. I'm going to do something for them anyways (esp. since I'm getting married the day before Mother's Day), but it'll probably be taking them to a nice dinner after our honeymoon, since there is anything they actually want and my mom typically hates knick-nacky things and photos. Seriously, I purchased a photo canvas for her (to give her a e-pic of FI and I, and since the photos she has displayed of me are 10-15 years old....) and she in so many words told me she wasn't interested.

I'd give your gifts to your respective sets of parents privately, so that they aren't comparing what they each got. Only you can decide which each one would like, but I'd consider something more practical (IE, nice dinner or something) for the nonsentimental set - sounds like my mom =]

katwed2012 · January 2012

The gifts for our parents is a sign of appreciation, I think whether you're close to them or not, is good to give them a gift. We got our moms each a personalized blanket with special note embroidered on it (http://www.etsy.com/shop/coutureweddinghankie ) and our dad each a pair of crystal wine glass also with special note graved (http://www.tomsglassworks.com/).

Hilraythebride · January 2012

Since you just put out so much money, I really don't think anyone's parents are expecting a gift from you. Especially since this will be the last thing both you and your parents will be worried about! Although I have seen some very nice cards that say something like To my mother on my wedding day and same for dad. This may be really sweet to give to your mom while getting dressed with the girls and to your dad before the father daughter dance (just so he doesn't cry before he walks you down the isle)! I think something like this coupled with a picture of the two of you, especially something from your younger years will evoke more emotion and get a way better response than any store bought item. Remember its the thought that counts and if you want to actually give it to them on your wedding day it should be rather small so its not just another thing they have to tote around all day

Gifts to Our Parents

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