This is probably going to be one of my rambling LJ posts, I just felt like I could use a vent this evening and that maybe some of you would read it (or some of it, hehe) and give me a little encouragement.
CN - An old classmate of mine is dying after being in a coma for six months and I'm bent out of shape over it.Six and a half months ago an old college classmate of mine (he was student body president when I was a sophomore) suffered a TBI (traumatic brain injury). He got punched just right by some drunk douchebag in a bar and he landed on his head. He's been in a coma ever since and his prognosis has been grim - but of course, you always have to hope for the best. I've been praying for half a year for a miracle for this guy.
I was subscribed to his carepage and got an email that it was updated tonight. As I read, it became very apparent that I had missed something, because they were talking about hospice care. I scrolled to the previous journal entry, which had been posted the night before my wedding (no wonder I missed it), which explained that since he had made no progress, and that he was actually deteriorating, the decision was made to transition him to hospice care where he will die.
It's been about a half hour since I learned this and I am angry and sad all over again. When I heard about what happened I believed so much that he could recover, but with every month that went by, I knew his chances were growing fewer and fewer - but I still believed he had a chance. This guy was a pilot and probably one of the nicest people you'd ever meet. His long term girlfriend was the one posting all the updates and I can't imagine what she's going through.
This Thanksgiving I went to bed and I couldn't sleep for a while thinking about how lucky I am and - honestly - counting my blessings. I cannot in a million years imagine this happening to someone so close to me and hearing about this 33 year old man's impending death (and for NO reason!) makes me feel thousands of emotions all at once. The journal entries always talk about how blessed the family and his friends all feel to have had him while he was here, and how they will always remember what a bright star he was in their life. And soon he'll be gone. I mean, he's pretty much been gone for over six months - but soon it will be for real. And my heart is breaking
So yeah. I guess the long and short of all this is that I'm depressed about it. I know that I should never take any of the people in my life whom I love for granted, but something like this happening to someone I love is probably my biggest fear. I know when I go to bed tonight I'm going to hold Ben just a little closer to me than I usually do.
Is anyone even here? Tell me something good.