Question about a bridal shower for 2nd-time bride

cengle · April 2011

I have a classmate who is throwing a bridal shower for a friend of hers. This is the bride's 2nd wedding. The bride's MOH told my friend that it's in poor taste to throw a shower for this bride, because it's her second wedding, and because the bride is a "mature woman over 50."

They are having a DW, but everyone invited to the shower is invited to the wedding, although many aren't able to attend. My friend was going to throw a beach-themed shower, asking for things for their DW/honeymoon in Hawaii or relaxation type things, like fluffy bathrobes and the like.

So, she asked me for my opinion, and I think it sounds fine, but I told her I would ask the ladies here. She really doesn't want to do anything that's against etiquette or distasteful.

Also, we're starting class, so this will be a P&R until the break and after class.
TIA.

LisaChris2011 · April 2011

I don't think its tacky at all. Age plays a small part (as in, its assumed she is well established already), but her friends are opting for the better choice in going with a themed shower.

bridezillatobe2009 · April 2011

does the bride know she's having a shower? In my experience 2nd time brides don't want all the fuss and hoopla and are worried about looking gift grabby.

Maybe make it more like a send off party closer to the wedding date? Beach themed, casual, a chance for well wishers to say their piece if they can't make it to the wedding?

lindsay5432 · April 2011

I think it sounds fine. The "relaxation" things would be a good theme.

lisarose7 · April 2011

People have showers for 2nd and 3rd babies, so I don't see why she can't have one for a 2nd wedding...unless she's throwing it for herself, which she's not.

I also agree that the shower shouldn't be thrown if the bride isn't comfortable with it. If she's given them the okay, though, it should be fine.

ootmother2 · April 2011

i don't think it's tacky.

There's a post on the Catholic Bride's board today about this.

Frankly, I don't care if it's a first marriage or a fifth, I would get a gift for a friend getting married. Under any circumstance

GeauxTigers17 · April 2011

Traditionally, showers are for first time brides, just like baby showers are supposed to be for first time moms only.

I absolutely would get a wedding gift for a second time bride, though I'm not sure I'd host a shower. Your friend's MOH is technically correct.

tenofcups4me · April 2011

I think a shower for a second-time (or more) bride is in poor taste. MAYBE something super-casual, small, and with no or very limited gifts -- basically just a luncheon or drinks pre-wedding celebration -- might be ok. Otherwise, no.

(Signed a second-time bride)

bridezillatobe2009 · April 2011

ugh baby showers for 2nd/3rd time moms is way overkill. Have a meet and greet or open house but how many shower games does one woman want in life?

cengle · April 2011

Thanks, ladies. I've told my friend all of your answers, and I'll let her go from there.

I do believe the bride is aware of the shower.

MyNameIsNot · April 2011

Traditionally, you weren't supposed to have a shower the second time around. I wouldn't feel comfortable if I were the bride, but I wouldn't bat an eye if it were for a friend.

But if she's 50+, I would think more of her friends would be more traditional, so I'd be careful.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · April 2011

In Response to Re: Question about a bridal shower for 2nd-time bride:
[QUOTE]People have showers for 2nd and 3rd babies, so I don't see why she can't have one for a 2nd wedding...unless she's throwing it for herself, which she's not. I also agree that the shower shouldn't be thrown if the bride isn't comfortable with it. If she's given them the okay, though, it should be fine.
Posted by lisarose7[/QUOTE]

Which is poor etiquette.

I think having more of a honeymoon sort of party rather than a traditional shower is a little different. As in most situations, it's easy to judge from the outside, but for a friend, I would go and have a good time and not mind it, you know?

JohnAmy423baby · April 2011

People who do not think its appropriate will not attend. This is a friend throwing her a party, it does not reflect on the bride at all. I am much younger and getting married for the second time. My aunt threw me a shower and at first I was uncomfortable with the idea because of what others may think about it. I decided not to register for gifts, my family and FI family did buy us gifts and no one was put off by it.

AmandalovesAl · April 2011

I think it sounds great! Its a great way to celebrate her!

Question about a bridal shower for 2nd-time bride

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