Just wanted to give an update that we are going to court for my worker's comp case next Tuesday, Feb 3rd. This is not for the entire case, but to determine whether or not a Spinal Cord Stimulator is "medically necessary". This has been over a year in the making (I had the trial part end of October 2008, and was supposed to have the permanent surgery beginning of Dec 2008, and they denied it the day before the surgery. Ever since then, it's been a fight), and even though we have the medical data and doctor backing we need, it's not guaranteed. If they deny this on Feb 3, it's a final decision and I cannot dispute it- so the court date and possible outcomes are weighing heavily on me.
Right now, this is the only procedure that will offer me relief that I can hope for (ketamine infusions (The ones where they put you into a coma in Germany? Those are ketamine infusions) are an option, but the doctor who does them, Dr. Schwartzman out of Drexel, is the world's leading expert in my disease and has a waiting list of over 2 years. My current appointment date with him is end of January 2012!). It's not ideal, but nothing regarding what I have is, so this is what I am hoping for to help me live pain-free.
I do have to say, this has been a learning experience for me. I struggled for many months after being denied the surgery- it was my dream that I could walk down the aisle without support of a person/cane/crutches/wheelchair, and it seemed to me that they stole the 'beauty' of my day right out from under me. I have grown though- and learned that that's not what it's about at all. Coming to the realization that if FI will love me sick, he will love me well was one that was difficult for me (I believe he deserves so much better, he's dedicated his life at 23 to taking care of an invalid and has never once made a derogatory or hurtful comment about it and now I am crying...), but I am happy to say that whether I walk down the aisle with a (very jazzed up and decorated) cane or without aide, the outcome will be the same, and that is all that matters. The walk back down and the first dance with no pain would be icing on the cake, but it's not going to make or break the day.
So, anyway, if y'all could offer up some prayers, thoughts, and vibes for me, that would be very greatly appreciated. I know some of us have had our differences, but right now, I am hoping that as a fellow Knottie a few prayers and well wishes can be thought for me. I know I haven't always been the easiest knottie, but I want y'all to know that being on these boards has made my current life and situation a little easier- coming to these boards is one of the highlights of my day, and I look forward to it always. You girls are wonderful.
Annnnnd enough of the sappiness. Back to business as usual
