Groom's Reluctance to give input

emilyrenee90 · June 2010

Is anyone else having problems with the Groom not wanting to give his input on anything? Mine keeps saying that it's too early to think about everything for the wedding and it looks like I might have to do everything by myself... Just hoping I'm not the only one!

clockworklimeWed208505 · June 2010

In his defense, it IS super-early--you have 2 1/2 years to plan, so why rush? Right now, you should just be gathering a whole bunch of different ideas (because your tastes will change, believe it or not!). I was in the same boat with my fiance (we got engaged on 12.21.08 and are getting married 11.11.11) but now that we're down to under a year and a half, he's much more open about telling me what he wants, likes, etc. Just give it time. HTH!

emilyrenee90 · June 2010

Thanks clockworklime. That was kinda what I was doing (just gathering a whole bunch of ideas). I got him to look at some pics but all he really said was that the stuff on the cakes makes them look moldy... Hopefully it keeps getting easier and easier to find out what kinds of things he wants; even if the day is really supposed to be centered around me like everyone says it will I want him to enjoy it too. We actually talked about the wedding a little more and might be changing our date to earlier in the year, but who knows, nothing is set in stone yet. Thanks again!

[Deleted User] · July 2010

It is early, but there isn't anything wrong with being excited! We aren't getting married until Oct 2012 but I look at stuff FREQUENTLY since we got engaged almost 2 weeks ago. My fiance likes that I am excited and, although he doesn't really care about what COLORS, and what the cake LOOKS like, he does act excited with me and he will help me look for the venue and things like that. Just look at things on your own and get ideas. In a year you both WILL need to be planning... so by then you will have a LOT of ideas that he will have to listen to THEN.

fontassidy · July 2010

I have mixed feelings about the whole 'lack of interest' from the future groom thing...on the one hand, it is very early and these are DUDES we're talking about, so I suppose that in *theory* I understand why they might not be so enthralled to look at hundreds of pictures of favors, cakes, rings and dresses.

HOWEVER, on the other hand, this is the event that symbolizes the beginning of your life-long relationship together. It's a very, very important occasion - for most people, one of the single most important events of their entire lives. SO, with that in mind, I would probably be outraged if my FI wasn't at least a little excited, or at the very very least willing to seem excited because I am so excited, hahaha! Luckily for me, AJ is a fanastic man and even if he doesn't really care that much he is always willing to browse around with me, give input on my ideas and talk wedding for at least a little while!!

Just let your FI know that because it is important to YOU, it should also be important to HIM. That little reminder always works well with us (and it goes both ways - I have to listen to his fantasty sports line-ups not out of interest but out of LOVE for him, lol!)

If nothing else, maybe there is one specific aspect he'll be more interested in than others - like food, or music for example. AJ is really really into the music and will spend an hour at a time with me choosing first dance, processional and reception music, so that is a great way to get him involved!

whmyscal · July 2010

*grins*
I have the OPPOSITE problem. My groom is very into details and has very particular ideas about what he wants. Everything I work on, from colors to caterers to venues to attire, is done with him because he wants to be a part of the process.

That said, I agree with the other girls. Just give it some time. Also, don't be afraid to talk to him abut how you feel. Just a teasing little, "Hey! You know I'm so excited to marry you that I'm afraid the time will just fly! Can I get your opinion on _____?"

Also, maybe find out what about the wedding he IS interested in. Maybe he really wants cajun food served, or he hates the idea of wearing a tie. I bet there are some things he'll have a definite opinion on! ;-)

Good luck!

Bonobo528 · August 2010

My fiance' isn't really big into details. He likes to chime in once and a while about what he would like there, or how he'd like to enter into the reception. We had orignally put our date as this October but due to finances we pushed it back to October 2011. THEN we found out his brother in law is being redeployed to Iraq next July sooooo its not till October 2012. We like to daydream about our day but try not to get too excited since the date has been pushed around so much and because its over 2rys away.

So dont let it bother you too much that hes not into details right now. Keep getting ideas and molding your vision for you wedding. You'll be surprised, many things you like now, you may not like in a year when you really start penciling stuff in.

Phoenix109 · September 2010

I agree with whmyscal.. guys just have different motivations.. show them a bunch of flowers and their eyes glaze over, but talk to them about food and sound equipment and you might hold their attention.. you just have to play to their strengths.. my fiance is an amazing graphic designer so I left the entire invitation suite up to him and other than that i show him the occasional (read: every day) girly picture of a certain flower or dress and ask him what he thinks.. it's a good system

rxjen · October 2010

My Fi doesnt have an eye for detail so when we had our E Party his motto was " Here is the money, let me know if you need more and make it pretty". I like that about him

)

Groom's Reluctance to give input

Re: Groom's Reluctance to give input

Choose Another Board

Search Boards