I need to get this all out somewhere, so I apologize if this is long & rambly.
So, the bank emailed me yesterday to tell me that I'm one of the top two candidates and that they'll have a decision no later than Wednesday morning. While I think that's pretty awesome, I'm not crazy about 50/50 odds... I almost would rather I didn't know that little fact. Add in the fact that I am super frustrated with my current job, and it comes down to, if I don't get this new job, I might lose my mind.
My schedule is just insane right now. I don't know if I ever fully explained what I do, but it's essentially PR for a college athletic department. So besides writing press releases & such, I am at every single home game that we have, plus I travel with some teams too. So my schedule for the next week - basketball & volleyball tonight, basketball & volleyball on Sunday, I'm redoing my pictures on Monday, fly to Iowa on Tuesday, basketball game Wednesday, fly home Thursday, volleyball tournament Friday & Saturday, football Saturday... AH! INSANE.
Which leads me to my next issue... I feel like I'm going CRAZY. I have been on anxiety meds for almost two years, and things have been good. I take Effexor daily, and when I first started, my doc gave me a prescription for 30 Xanax... But I haven't taken one in almost a year. Now, this is only the second month in about 12 years that I haven't been on birth control... if I did the counting right (I haven't had to "count" out the days of my cycle for 12 years, I don't remember if I did it right or not, haha!) then I should start my period next week. I am PMS RAGEY right now. Nothing can go right, I feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat - and I have, for the last two nights. I don't know if it's the hormonal changes interacting with the anxiety meds or what, but it's miserable.
BF was GREAT two nights ago, we were on the phone for almost two hours, he listened to me cry & vent & made me feel better. Last night, it was a completely different story. If I wasn't talking, he'd say "Hello??" like I wasn't there, and then got butthurt because I wasn't in a great mood. I told him to just go to bed, and he said "okay, bye." without even saying I love you or anything. So of course I said it all pissy, and then hung up. Ugh.
Tomorrow I'm driving 1.5 hours south to meet my sister for the day at the outlets. Which should be fun & stress free, but of course, I'm thinking about having to fill the car with gas, and go shopping for things that I can't afford... it's going to be awesome to see everyone, but I'm always stressed about money, so that adds to it.
Sorry this is so long. Thank you if you made it through. It feels a little better to get it all out. Happy weekend Ladies!!
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