What's your BM budget

DanieKA · September 2011

I ran across this article on different BM budgets and I was just thinking about how much it costs to be a BM. I am totally willing to spend the money, but thinking back, for each wedding I've been in-four-I've probably spent in the thousands. That kind of shocked me! I've never actually totalled it up, just paid as I was going through the process. A couple hundred here and there didn't seem terrible until you sit down and think about it all! So I was wondering what you are spending money on?

For me, it's not just the dress/hair/makeup/accessories. But I include the oh so popular Bachelorette trips all my friends seem to be wanting now. I bring a gift to each shower, and the wedding. But also as a BM, I help organize some of these showers, which includes costs like making/buying foods and decor.

So what is your BM budget, and what would you consider too much to be a bridesmaid? My friends have always been cost conscious when it comes to picking dresses (and I thank them), but really sitting down and looking at the numbers, I didn't realize how much I actually spend. Yowza! Love to be there for my friends, but Yowza!

Just commiserating:)

Here's the article (clicky)

Oh, and I guess I should intro. Hey, I'm Danie. Going to be a BM in my friends fall 2012 wedding and thought I'd explore a new board.

jemmini6 · September 2011

I've only been a BM in 2 weddings (both my sisters) and I spent a couple $100 on each between dresses, alterations, shower & b-party, gifts, etc.

I am getting married in 2 months and have been very cost-conscious for my BMs (both my sisters and a friend). Their dresses were $35 each and don't require alterations (they were off the rack from JCP), I'm not having a shower, and I'm paying most of my own way for my b-party. They are also not required to get their hair or make-up professionally done. So they should be spending hopefully less than $100 as far as the BM 'duties' go.

I'm always amazed at the brides who think that their BM's should spend thousands of dollars on them. I think it's very selfish and can ruin a lot of friendships.

em01092 · September 2011

I'm a BM in a friend's wedding next June. I plan to drop about $200 for the dress and alterations, $100 in gas to and from (7 hours away), and $200 for a hotel for 2-3 nights. Plus I will miss 2-3 days of work. FI will be paid for his time off, but not moi (I'm part time, he's full time).

Due to the distance and time off work issues, I probably will not be able to make any showers or bachelorette parties, unless they occur right before the wedding, which I doubt. That said, I will send a gift to her for her shower and will contribute whatever I can afford to her B-party, if one is thrown by her MOH.

ElisabethJoanne · September 2011

My bridesmaids are my little sisters, so even if "the bridesmaids pay for their dresses," it's really my parents who pay. The older one is considering the Peace Corps, so the travel alone could be thousands. I budgeted $150 each for dresses and $50 each for shoes. I'll buy their head coverings. No professional hair or make-up. No pricey gifts from the unemployed, particularly the baby who's too young to work. They can make me an e-card.

I'm hoping the dresses will actually be under $50 and the shoes under $20. With only 2 girls, about the same size, and completely normal sizes, I think we can do everything off-the-rack. I was going to let them choose together things that matched, but Mom says they'll just end up hating each other and hating me for making them choose, so I have to choose, so they only hate me. Haha!

DanieKA · September 2011

Jemmini, $35 for the dresses are amazing!!! For the majority of the weddings I've been in it's been between $100-$200, which I didn't think was terrible, but I can see there are other options. Edielaura, I love WHBM and never even thought about that as an option. I might have to bring that up to my friend once she picks out her colors (if they are black/white).

Thanks everyone for answering! In the end I always have fun going to the showers, bach trips, etc and it's an honor to be a BM. I'm just pinching every penny nowadays (oh the carefree days when I was flush with disposable income and most excellent student loan refund checks. I miss those days) and I'm estimating a budget for this upcoming wedding and it's hitting me like a ton of bricks. I'll just have to save, so when the costs accelerate next year I'll be prepared.

Thanks again!

cesiao · September 2011

I let my BMs choose their dress, I just asked for the color and length. For some, I helped pay for the dresses. I'm paying for jewelry, hair, & other accesories. I didn't have a bridal shower. They are planning a bachlorette party, but it will probably be small and intimate. I say they may spend in total like $75-$150 depending on the cost of their dress.

em01092 · September 2011

Also, for my BMs, I picked a color from AA and am letting them pick their own dresses.

They can wear their own shoes and hair/makeup are optional. They will have to pay for hotel rooms and travel (gas) but that's all.

EBDG · September 2011

i choose dresses tha were 150 by bill levkoff.... they are beautiful and even compared to more expenses designers the fit was much better! They can wear whatever shoes they want.... I am paying for makeup - they are paying for hair. As there gift i am going to have jewlery made and give them all a coach purse. My plan is to spend as much on them as they are on the dress.

I am have a bachlorette party and multiple showers. however i have made it clear to the BM's that if they can't attend a shower it is no big deal

LoveMuffins · September 2011

I would refuse to be a BM for someone who expects an across country trip for her Bachlorette, and if I was a BM for someone whose other BMs wanted to do it I would have to unfortuantely bow out. I will help plan / pay for showers, but I also refuse to go super extravagent with those. Fortunately, my social circle is also cost conscious. We tend to hold showers at people's houses rather than restaurants, a lot of people chip in to make the food rather than having it catered, and our bachlorette parties tend to be organized in a way so that the bride is paid for but other than contributing $20 or so to that everyone pays their own way afterwards and never spends more than they feel like.

I've tried to cut down on costs for my BMs in other ways too... my mom paid for their dresses, they can do whatever they want for their hair and shoes and jewelry, and we're taking them out for manicures the day before the wedding (paying for them).

I think that people get out of control with costs in a lot of ways, and I'm lucky to have a lot of friends who feel the same way. We do what we can, as much as we can, but even though I've been a bridesmaid twice I don't think I spent more than $500 either time - including presents and hotel room / travel for one of them.

Kate61487 · September 2011

I'd estimate my BM's costs varied from $200 (cost of the dress and gas only; her mom hemmed it, she borrowed my shoes, I paid for hair, and while she attended shower/bachelorette she didn't give me gifts which I wasn't expecting at all b/c shes a student and doesnt have money to blow on me) to over $1000 (MOH flew into Chicago twice, for shower and wedding, also planned/paid for the bachelorette on top of dress and shoes)

But I tried to make it as affordable for them as I could; offered to make up the difference if anyone had trouble with any costs. I paid for everyone's hair and offered up a place to sleep so they didn't have to have hotels (though they all either drove or shared rooms with friends)

jenniferb77 · September 2011

im not having bridesmaids. that said, my 12 year old daughter will be our ring bearer. since i am paying for everything for her, i shelled out $235 for her dress. its from saison blanche and is perfect for her. i will be paying for the alterations, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, food, transportation (she lives with her dad out of state) and lodging.

thank goodness i only have one

What's your BM budget

Re: What's your BM budget

Choose Another Board

Search Boards