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intercultural weddings

TrueBellaTrueBella
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in African American Weddings
im wondering if any here have found it a challenge to connect with your FIs family in the midst of planning and overall do you get along with them and vice versa?

did you add or are you adding any elements that may represent your FIs culture, religion even.

my FI is from serbia, hes been us bound for 8yrs now so hes somewhat americanized, traditonally serbian weddings are a bit different from american weddings but i did want to incoprorate a little of his traditions to the wedding.  i also noticed they wear their wedding rings on their right hand!

his mother speaks very little english, so its somewhat hard to connect with her if hes not there to translate for me.  i only know a little bit of his language, not as easy as i thought it would be.. his father is kindof racist and not exactly thrilled about this union. even though i've been in the picture for 3years.
 
we have 8 months to go, so hopefully some progress will be made in regards to that.
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Re: intercultural weddings

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    brobin01brobin01
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    My fi and his family are Jamaican. at first they were kind of stand offish, but I am loving and down to earth, so they broke down and love me like I am one of the. My advice is if family and or friends can't get with you and FI's realtionship, you have to push past and focus on you and him. I know that is easier said than done, but you have to do what you have to do. Stay strong in prayer and I hope for the best for the two of you. :)
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    ladylumladylum member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    My hubby's dad's side of the family is straight up racist and did not attend the wedding. I figured it was their loss and didn't lose sleep over it. His mother, however, is very happy that I am her DIL but that woman drives me crazy because she's flighty. It's OK though because she has a good heart. Hubby and I have a great relationship and that's all that really  matters.
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    OFFOFF
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    edited December 2011
    My husband is Russian however, luckily everyone speaks English and like me (or at least pretend really well).  We had thought about incorporating some Russian elements into the wedding but he wasn't really feeling it.  I would look into maybe doing a traditional Serbian dance or if there is a song that is traditionally played at weddings finding a copy to play at yours.  Russians also wear their rings on their right hand but I nixed that idea women need to know he is MARRIED!
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    rhodesignrhodesign
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    edited December 2011
    It never occured to me that different cultures wear rings on their right hands! I mean I can't assume everyone does it the same, but I just never thought about it...=P

    Okay, so, what we did was incorporate a wedding tradition from each of our backgrounds--we did a Celtic handfast (H is part Irish) and a broom ceremony/jump. We didn't make a huge production about it, but the traditions were explained as we did them. People seemed to really enjoy it.

    My ILs are way cool--very nice people all throughout our relationship. I think the only 'issue' they ever had was that I wasn't Catholic, but that was a minor thing! His mom even gave me his grandmother's diamond (made into a neckace) as a wedding gift. I was so touched by that.
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    TrueBellaTrueBella
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_intercultural-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:bcd683e6-54d6-45c3-8e80-8f88909de30cPost:353534ef-449f-48a5-9950-493ed2932f7a">Re: intercultural weddings</a>:
    [QUOTE]My husband is Russian however, luckily everyone speaks English and like me (or at least pretend really well).  We had thought about incorporating some Russian elements into the wedding but he wasn't really feeling it.  I would look into maybe doing a traditional Serbian dance or if there is a song that is traditionally played at weddings finding a copy to play at yours.  Russians also wear their rings on their right hand but I nixed that idea women need to know he is MARRIED!
    Posted by OFF[/QUOTE]

    yeah we're not doing the right hand ring deal for that very reason. but if we go overseas again we might switch it over just to make it clear lol.. dont want any confusion.  i looked into the dance and i dont think that fits with our DW. but i am incorporating the tying of the hands, and drinking from the common cup. FI wants to pass out rosary to the guests, but im not sure if im feelin that idea much either.
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    TrueBellaTrueBella
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_intercultural-weddings?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:bcd683e6-54d6-45c3-8e80-8f88909de30cPost:40a8f26c-8ba4-4c4f-97ec-c02274392bdc">Re: intercultural weddings</a>:
    [QUOTE]It never occured to me that different cultures wear rings on their right hands! I mean I can't assume everyone does it the same, but I just never thought about it...=P Okay, so, what we did was incorporate a wedding tradition from each of our backgrounds--we did a Celtic handfast (H is part Irish) and a broom ceremony/jump. We didn't make a huge production about it, but the traditions were explained as we did them. People seemed to really enjoy it. My ILs are way cool--very nice people all throughout our relationship. I think the only 'issue' they ever had was that I wasn't Catholic, but that was a minor thing! His mom even gave me his grandmother's diamond (made into a neckace) as a wedding gift. I was so touched by that.
    Posted by rhodesign[/QUOTE]

    just had to say i loved your wedding pix! your dress is fab. and i also get the catholic thing, i think thats another thing his parents have an issue with me about.
    but i have considered converting, even though FI isnt a die hard catholic.
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    SeleenaJulietSeleenaJuliet member
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    edited December 2011
    My guy is Mexican and there are a lot of people in his family that don't speak English... however I speak spanish really well so that's never been a problem.  They do loose me when they speak in Mexican slang because I speak proper Spanish with Puerto Rican and Dominican words thrown in because I'm originally from the East.  Most likely, any Mexican influence will be through the food because everyone likes Mexican food.  Of course, we'll play some native Mexican music along with hip hop, rock, pop and probably a little country.  No one in his family has ever dated outside of the cultural group and I think they really respect the fact that I speak their language, it made it easier for them to welcome me.  Hell I spend more time with his family than my own.
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    JKeyes2011JKeyes2011
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    edited December 2011
    My FI is Belgian and they only have a few traditions. If his parents actually come we will do one where When I come down the aisle I will give his mom a flower to represent that I am joining their family. For the Afro-American part we are going to jump the broom.
    At the reception we might have a chocolate fountian because Belgium is known for chocolate and in their big tourist cities like Brussels there is this chocolate shop that people go visit and take pictures of because it has a huge chocolate fountian in the window.
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    TrueBellaTrueBella
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    ive visited belgium before when i lived in frankfurt and wurzburg germany. belgium is a beautiful place. a chocolate fountain would be cool.
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