Marine wife needing opinions!!

amandoza23 · December 2011

So I am already married but my husband and I just did it spontaneously at the Justice of the Peace. We are going to have a ceremony/reception for friends and family since we are both the first of our generations to get married. He is leaving for Marines basic training January 9, 2012 so I'm not quite sure when will be the best time to plan a wedding. We know we are having it in the Napa Valley. If we do it right after he graduates basic then it'll be the first week of April, but if we do it after he is done with his tech school it will be sometime in july. I'm just not sure when would be best and if there is anything I need to do to get approval to get married off base. And if anyone knows when he will get his blues because I think he would rather wear them to the wedding instead of a tuxedo. HELP PLEASE!!!

melbelle24 · December 2011

Well, first of all... You're already married, so what you're planning is a vow renewal, not a wedding. Your wedding was your JOP.

Secondly, trying to plan a vow renewal around when he gets out of basic or tech school is a just plain bad idea. You never know what might happen during training to push back his graduation date, and I'm pretty sure he can't guarantee getting leave between basic and tech school. Your best bet for planning would be to wait until he's done with all his training and at his first duty station. Sorry, I'm sure that's not what you wanted to hear, but it's the best advice I have!

ggirl2001 · December 2011

I recommend after he gets to his first duty station. Anytime before that and you run the risk of delays, dates changing, etc. when he gets to his first duty station he will know about deployment schedule, leave he can take and when, etc

DarrahDoo · December 2011

Congrats!!

Best advice I can think of is give yourselves some time. You are already married, so no need to rush the celebration! I would say do it after tech school so things aren't so rushed and you and him both can take some time to plan and enjoy it. As for everything else, the wiser more experienced ladies here might be able to help you out better

(and I didn't mean that like I mean it when I say that to my mom....no age implication there I swear!)

I wouldn't stress...enjoy the planning, enjoy the celebration. It will happen eventually so the few months inbetween the two dates really is just extra planning time for you

Congrats again!

divinemsbee · December 2011

Wait until he gets to his first duty station and you have a better idea of what's going on. I have been in a similar situation, and if I had been trying to plan and set anything in stone this whole time, I would have lost my g.d. mind. While we didn't have to deal with boot, my FI and I were engaged and thought we would get married when he finished his CSO school next October. Then he hurt his shoulder, went through physical therapy, had his date for his IFS pushed back at least 5 times, had his syllabus changed, finally went through the pre-training (water survival and IFS) passed water survival and washed out of IFS. He then was put on casual status, we had to wait for re-class boards, and he's now been re-classed and we're moving across 2 states so that he can start his new classes for his new job right after the new year. Hopefully we'll get married after he finishes this training. I have just now felt safe starting to really plan, but we still don't have concrete dates to know when he'll finish and be able to take leave. I still worry that something will go wrong in this training.

I only show this as an example that sometimes not everything goes as well as we'd like, not because I am in any way wishing ill-will. If someone had told me all of this might go down when FI went to start his active duty in the military last October, I would have laughed. I really do think it's better, for the sanity of all involved, to wait to plan a wedding/vow renewal until you know where he will be and you know that he will more probably be able to take leave.

kyrgyzstan · December 2011

Do not try and plan a VR for the week he graduates boot camp or MOS school (and I know you're from CO, but if your H is going to be a Marine, you ought learn the terminology for the MC and stop using AF terminology). What happens if he gets hurt? Or has trouble in whatever his MOS school is and gets held back? My H recently lat moved to a very similar job, and instead of his new MOS school taking 4 months (fast tracked for his previous experience), or the regular 6 months, it took 9. 9. For no real reason.

ggirl2001 · December 2011

Also he could be delayed at mos school while waiting for it to start. My h went in July and school didnt start until August. Then he went to his c school in September and those classes didn't start until January.

iluvmytxrgr · December 2011

Like the other PPs said, wait until he gets to his first duty station. There are way to many issues that could occur between Boot and MOS school. For instance, I broke my legs in Basic. They sent me home for 30 days. I sat in my original unit for 2 weeks until I was accepted into a rehab unit. I spent 8 weeks there and was sent back to training. I was supposed to graduate in August but didn't until December.

SamiJoeB · December 2011

Ditto Everything from the advice to wait, to the advice to learn the terminology!!

Marine wife needing opinions!!

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