Hi September brides! I am 11 days from my wedding (September 1st) and I am feeling really crazy! I have slight wedding fatigue with all the last minute planning and my anxiety level is through the roof. I need some stress-relief advice!
To preface: I've been plagued with anxiety problems for most of my life.
My FMIL arrived on Sunday, our international guests have started arriving, my anxiety medication has run out and there was a delay on my refill and my obsessive-compulsive tendencies are starting to get the better of me. I wake up in the night to obsess over details, compulsively count things that have been deilvered (have counted a box of paper flowers perhaps once a week since their delivery two months ago, for example) and am reduced to tears over what I know logically are very minor things.
But also, I find myself obsessing over the momentousness of getting married. I talked with FI about it and he reminded me we will still be the same people on September 2nd, and that we have successfully lived together for well more than a year. We also have great communication and a very loving relationship. I know in the logical sense that everything is going to be great, but on a more visceral level, I am nervous. I have butterflies in my stomach, I'm not sleeping enough or eating properly, and I'm full of unproductive nervous energy. Sometimes I go from that into a manic period of excitement where I run around the apartment singing songs and bouncing up and down. FI suspects I have taken complete leave of my senses.
What I would compare it to is how I felt as a child before going away to summer camp. I was excited and knew it would be awesome, but I'd also get so nervous about the change, and the distance and all that stuff that I couldn't eat or sleep for days before going. This feeling has been visited upon me almost every time I undergo a life change (going to uni, moving to a new country, starting a masters), so it's natural that it would happen now, I suppose. As a kid I once got so wound up about summer camp that I threw up in the driveway before we even got in the car.
I'm a person who is prone to neuroses and anxiety, so I knew that I wasn't going to feel totally even keeled, but right now what I'm feeling is THIS SH*T IS REALLY FOR REALZ NOW which is not necessarily negative, just a bit scary sometimes.
Am I normal, or am I a lunatic?
Anyway it always makes me feel 100x better just to talk about it, so thanks to anyone who manages to read and make sense of all of that! I welcome any and all stress-relief tips that don't include booze because I'm trying not to drink until the day. I would also love to hear about your worries - what keeps you up at night, September brides? What makes you space out in the shower? Do you have jitters, and if so, what do they feel like? Please, help me feel like I am not alone!