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Re: .

  • alaliberte17alaliberte17 member
    10 Comments
    edited March 2012
    they think it was disrespectful because i didn't put their names on their as part of hosting it because yes they are contributing to it too. (just not as much as my dad) i'm just really upset about it all. just need assurance that i did it right or not to help me sleep tonight!
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  • StephBeanWed61502StephBeanWed61502 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    They are technically hosts, since they are paying for a portion of the wedding costs, so I get why they might be upset, but there's nothing you can do about it now.  Apologize, and make a nice thank you speech to them at the rehearsal dinner.
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  • Kristin789Kristin789 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker

    Again, HOSTING is not the same as PAYING.

    Traditionally, the bride's parents HOST the wedding, and they do all the HOSTING duties prior to the wedding and at the ceremony and at the reception.  So the bride's parents' names go on the top line as the people extending the invitation to the guests.

    Traditionally, the groom's parents do NOT host the wedding and reception, so their names would NOT go on the invitation at all.  You wrangled the wording of the invitation to specifically INCLUDE them, and for that, they should be DELIGHTED.

    Traditionally, the groom's parents host the RD.  So the groom's parents would identify three restaurants, go do a visit to the town so they can do tastings and talk to the event coordinators in those restaurants, sign the contract which includes menu choices, napkin/tablecloth colors, etc.  And then the groom's parents send out the RD invitations, WITH THEIR NAMES ON THE TOP LINE AS THE HOSTS of this event.  The bride's parents names do NOT traditionally go on the RD invitations.

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  • BubbsNBubbsBubbsNBubbs member
    100 Comments
    You are a better woman than I am.  I would be sending them links about how rude it is to cause waves with your FDIL and their son about something so trivial.  It sounds like they are upset that now they can't use your wedding as a forum to show off to their friends. 

    You put their names on in for crying out loud...it's not like you totally blew them off. 
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  • mwiederholdmwiederhold member
    10 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_need-invite-advice-yes-already-sent-out-need-help-calming-the-fire-now?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:08671fb0-d022-4582-b36b-e97306c30b6ePost:67745a06-f338-46a6-823a-933c9e89f49b">Re: need invite advice- yes. already sent out! need help calming the fire now...</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with the consensus. For others reading who want to avoid this, do get all parents' opinions on invitation wording before placing the order with the printer. <strong>I'd do this even for parents not paying.</strong> If you anticipate conflict, phrase it as just taking opinions or requests which you'll try to honor, in keeping with your wedding priorities. While you'll read that no one really cares about invitations, it's a good place to save money, etc., lots of people really do care.
    Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]

    We didnt!  we paid, hosted and wanted that to be known. Our invitations clearly stated "My Name and His Name" request the pleasure of your company.

    But when both sets of parents are making contributions, I can see where all names should be included just to appease everyone.
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