Is your FI going to your shower?

cpm1223 · March 2012

FI and I have been going back and forth with whether or not he should be at the shower. Some people (his sister, mom, 2 groomsmen's wives) have given the impression that he should be there. I don't really understand why anyone thinks that he'd be there when the invitations specifically says " You're invited to a bridal shower luncheon for Christine M____." I figured if he was "supposed" to go, it would have said both of our names...right?

Well I decided to leave it up to FI so I gave FI three options:

Come to the shower, the whole time, open presents with me etc.
Don't come at all
Come at the last hour and just say hello/thank you to everyone.

He choose option #3, which is great. I think its a great compromise. Now i just have to hope that his Mom doesn't give him any crap about it....

klw0022 · March 2012

We're having a co-ed wedding shower so yep

csgman · March 2012

My FI is doing the same as yours- just showing up at the end to say hi/thanks and help load up all our new gifts

bpphoto785 · March 2012

My FI has to work that day and our shower is 3 hours away where our parents live so he got out of it!

Melissa51212 · March 2012

My fi did what yours is doing and it worked out great...everyone loved seeing him and he was able to thank everyone! He is a chef so most of the gifts were more his anyway. Lol and plus he helped with the large load of presents!

arisia · March 2012

Similar to option 3. We are going there together, then the men are going out to lunch. A lot of people can't travel well anymore so it will be a good time for them to meet FI.

comeongetdown · March 2012

in your situation i think option 3 is a good choice!

we're having a co-ed wedding shower bbq/going away party so he'll definitely be there!

cpm1223 · March 2012

FI asked me if I thought that people would assume he was going to be there, and when I told him what the invitation said, he said "oh ok, then people won't expect me to be there if it only has your name!"

I really am worried about what FMIL will say and even FSIL....they seem to be really pushy towards FI and make him feel badly about stuff so I really hope they can accept his decision, which I think is a good decision.

mancila60 · March 2012

Most take option 3. That is what I have seen the most anyway. My FI however didn't show up at all he was in a tournament that day and it was about 2 hours away I actually got home before him that day even though he left at like 4 that morning.

mandydc0509 · March 2012

My FI came the last hour while I opened gifts. I didn't think I wanted him there at all (lol), but I really enjoyed his company.

vineyard12 · March 2012

FI was at "my" shower. It was a surprise shower at our house (he knew about it), and both families came, men included. All the guys, for the most part, were out in the sunroom, while all the women were in the livingroom and kitchen. I thought it was nice that he was here for the shower. He handed all the presents to me and I opened them.

leopardgurl831 · March 2012

My FI was there the whole time. I really enjoyed him being there he held the microphone, reminded me of things I forgot while opening, and loaded the car while I was still socializing. I think coming the last hour is fine too!

MelisMC · March 2012

FI was at my shower. I gave him the choice, but was honestly SO glad he came for the whole thing. I was actually kind of nervous about the shower. FI is very social and outgoing and I'm much more reserved. Until the shower I think the last time I had opened gifts in front of a crowd of people was at my 10th birthday party

Having him by by side that day made me much more relaxed. He opened gifts with me, thanked people, helped me with names I was unsure of, helped load the car, etc.

LuckyHeather · March 2012

Mine isn't invited. We are doing a girls weekend away at a little bed and breakfast on the beach. No boys allowed.

FutureMrsSheeler · March 2012

Mine isn't.. Iwish he was though!

Tully16 · March 2012

Mine did to the one for his family, but he didn't come to my shower with my family. It was nice to have him there when we did the shower with his family because I can be pretty shy around people I don't know as well.

jennamarie10 · March 2012

I actually don't think I've ever seen the FI at the shower unless it was specifically a couples shower. Hmm!

Mine is not coming to any of mine, and I think I prefer it that way.

Bett2012 · March 2012

I agree with the PP - I have never seen a FI at a shower unless it was CO-Ed, however, my FI will be coming at the tail end of my shower at the church since he knows alot of people there. I think it is a good compromise (his grandma said that she thinks he should be there since not alot of people know me - I went to the church for 4 years before university, FI was born into that church - and everyone knows him... i'm not going to lie, I was a little insulted that I'm not worth their time unless FI is there since I wasn't born into the church).... the showers at the church are also explicitly a ministry "for women run by women" (printed on the shower info card!), so that was an easy out for us so he doesn't have to come to the whole thing

AurorasEnvy · March 2012

I've never been to a shower where the FI was there the entire time - honestly I think it would be weird if he was unless it was a co-ed shower. Most of the showers I've been to had the FI show up near the end to say hello/goodbye to everyone and help load the gifts up. Put your FMIL and FSIL in their place if they say anything about it =]

mandi921vh · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_is-your-fi-going-to-your-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:a92273d2-18aa-42f8-91e0-c30048a98995Post:4226fa67-a096-47b6-8f42-d7729c20b0aa">Re: Is your FI going to your shower?</a>:
[QUOTE]My FI is doing the same as yours- just showing up at the end to say hi/thanks and help load up all our new gifts :)
Posted by csgman[/QUOTE]

<div>Mine is a surprise, but I would imagine this is what FI will be doing.</div>

S0095042 · March 2012

I wanted him to but he's chosen not to

amanda14lynne · March 2012

In the little town I live in, they guys ALWAYS attend the shower. I have been giving it a LOT of thought lately. FI and I talked about it this week and I told him that he could maybe just come for a portion of the shower, so I'm glad to see the suggestions you ladies have. I think I will give him the option of coming at 3 instead of 2!

careydes · March 2012

FI will be coming at the end, to say hi to everyone, load up the presents, and collect his mother, who has to get right to the airport to fly home after the shower.

Apparently they have other plans for me, but I don't know what they are.

Is your FI going to your shower?

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