Wedding Dress Dilemmia - Please Comment

Re: Wedding Dress Dilemmia - Please Comment

• nmauser82 member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  I have never ordered a wedding gown online and I personally would not. Wedding gowns are tricky, they may look great in a picture but look very different up close and on your body. Not to mention how the material feels, how heavy it is, etc.
  
  Would it be possible to take your future step daughter shopping, just the two of you? Make a day trip out of it and use it as a chance to spend some alone time together. If you go this route, I would definitely do some research ahead of time. Pick out some styles that you like and call the boutiques that you plan to visit. Make sure that they have styles you like, in your price range and make appointments. You can also shop for a dress for her if she is in the bridal party while you are at it.
  
  
  

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• Marrin713 member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  I dunno about online for something like this.  Dresses that look good on hangar don't look good on and visa versa.  Could you go on day trip for shopping and NOT take FI? 
  My dress is actually hanging in FI's closet

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• MikesAngie member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  I should state that we live together and my FI has full physical custody of "our" daughter there are no breaks and no dealing with the xW. We have a lot of one on one time, so no need to create special one on one time.  She's also your atypical 17 year old, doesn't wear make-up or do her hair, isn't interested in boys (she would like a boyfriend if he just magically appeared) and we have to push her to spend time with her friends. She's emotionally very immature and can be very disinterested when on outings. So in some ways taking her with me while I try on dresses would be like taking a daughter who's 8 it would be all fun and games for about 10-20 minutes then boredom would set in and it would be uncomfortable for all. 
  
  I'm still open to ideas though, and weekends are strictly family time which  is why the FI suggested a family day trip to search for the right dress,  Had the one butique owner not been a flake I wouldn't be at this point now. So this is a bit of a rant and then attempting to think outside the box...

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• thealphabride

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  Hi Angie,
  Since you will not marry until next spring you have plenty of time to find a gown.
  Although it makes me slightly uncomfortable, I did order my gown to be custom made by a group of ladies that makes wedding gowns at a reduced price. I found them on line.
  What I did was find a dress I loved and look good in first. Took tons of pics of the gown and send them 50 pics and my measurements. This was don in order to save on the nearly 2k price tag on the original gown, they assured me that it would look 95 -97% like the gown. We will see. I cannot recommend them until I get my gown. This may be an option for you if you find something you like.
  
  My gown should be in by June I will let you all know, it was a big roll of the dice for me.
  
  I would say to take the day trip because you need to find a gown, but no need to rush it, you have about a year until the wedding. You have a good 3-5 months before you need to order it.
  Good Luck!!

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• MikesAngie member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  Thank you Alphabride and please let me know how your gown turns out.  I appreciate all the comments and advice...  I may end up taking the FI up on his offer.
  
  Angie

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• melissamc2 member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  Even though my gown is by a designer and was ordered through a very reputable and high end bridal boutique, I didn't get to try it on first.  That's the joy of special order limited editions!
  
  You know your body, you know what you like, and you know the risks of online ordering.  With that said, you can contact salons from all over the world and make arrangements to order just about any design (by any designer) you find online by simply giving them your measurments and a deposit.  That gives you the peace of mind of it being through a bridal boutique along with the ease of ordering online.  I'm sure you can find someone in your town to do alterations for you, even if you have to advertise on a local message board/Craigslist.
  
  If you're not comfortable with that route, by all means make the day trip into a larger area and try things on.  There's no real right or wrong in this case - just whatever you are ok with and will make you happiest.  Good luck!
  

  10-10-10

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• 2dBride member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  Honestly, if you want to order online, you would probably be safer with a used dress than a new one.  There are several places like PreownedWeddingDresses.com where brides sell dresses that have been used once--or in many instances, have never been used at all, because the bride changed her mind.  That way, you can be sure you are getting the actual dress from the designer, not a "replica" that may turn out to be quite different from the pictures.

  
  Our wedding bio page (including vendor reviews) and items for sale

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• Sue-n-Kevin member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  I'm not sure what your experience is with ordering clothing online, but here's mine, along with my thoughts:
  
  For years I have ordered clothing online from sites like Newport News, Chadwicks, Victoria's Secret. Because I'm "mature", I know what looks good on me, and what "street size" I am. While some manufacturer's sizing is a bit "off" (because so much of our clothing is made oversees), in most cases anything I order fits.
  
  Having said that, wedding gowns are different. I've seen many posts here comparing "street sizes" to "wedding dress sizes" and how they don't always match up.
  
  You don't say what type of dress you want. Do you want a ballroom gown? Do you want mermaid style? Do you want something flowy in chiffon? Not sure what type of wedding you are having. I peeked at your bio, and it appears you really want a "wedding-y dress" LOL.

  
  

  There is a great company called Group USA that sells wedding attire, and has stores. You can also look online. Here's a link to their locations, not sure how close Milipitas is to you:
  
  http://www.groupusa.com/c-fs100.cfm
  
  Because they have physical stores (I've been to the one in Michigan), AND a website, I'd tend to trust their customer service skills a bit more than just any other website. You can order online if you want (some of their dresses are "in store only"), and they have reasonable prices, some on clearance.
  
  Their policy says online purchases are final, but can be exchanged if the size is wrong. If you want to order from them, I'd call them and find out how their sizes run.
  
  If you still want to go shopping, I'd make a 1-2 day trip out of it and go alone, or with a friend. Really no need to involve your fiance & his daughter. If she is standing up with you, it is probably easier to find a dress for a 17 yr old with a short attention span than to find your wedding gown.
  
  Good luck.

  Wedding Website and Bio

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• MikesAngie member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  Thank you ladies some great information here!  Sue-N-Kevin thank you for understanding about the 17 year old with the short attention span.   I dearly love her and she's a lovely kid but she's not as mature as most 17 year olds.
  
  I should tell you that I am looking for fit and flare, trumpet or mermaid.  I'm a true hour glass shape (38-28-38) which means that should I order a dress based on a size chart I will be having the waist and hips taken in.  The FI was looking over my shoulder with my permission at dresses, and stated that he prefered the "Jessica Rabbit" (fit and flare, trumpet or mermaid) look to the Cinderella (ballgown, A-line) look.  The Casa Blanca 1974 that I tried on fit very well accented all the curves just fine (was a little tight in the rib cage just below the bust), but was very simple and the daughter was able to find 2 or 3 bridesmaid dresses that matched it to a tee.
  
  Neither of us have had a wedding this formal in our past lives and really are treating this as the wedding we both dreamed of with the person we dreamed of being married to.  So my dress has some pretty big shoes to fill... especailly since long before planning or becoming engaged the FI stated he would be in a tux, and I would be in a gown should we get married.  (So yes, Virignia, heterosexual men do dream about their wedding day too!)
  
  I'm mature enough to know my street size very well, and have found in the 9 dresses I have tried on that I'm for the most part between a 8 and a 10 unless it's a Justin Alexander or similarly made dress then I would need a 12 for the bust, but all would need to have alterations for the waste and hips.  Finding a local seamstress should be easy since we live near Monterey and that is a destination for weddings.
  
  Another thought I had was talking to a local seamstress about having the "Dress" made, but am afraid that is not the best way to save costs.  We do have a tight budget due to the economy and construction being slow right now (I work in construction).
  
  Sorry for the long post again, but there were some valid questions and I wanted to answer them.
  
  Any additional thoughts will be welcomed and again thank you!!!!

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• arllinma

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  I lost count of how many stores I went to in the same number of towns. I looked for probably 6months and drove hours and hours on weekends to shops in different cities. Most times I went alone. If I really liked it, I figured I would just come back and try it again with friends or my mom.
  Take a few road trips but make sure you hit every store on the way to make it worth your while. Don't bring your fiance.

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• Seestar01 member

  

  May 2010 edited December 2011

  With all the other stresses of planning a wedding, I would NOT want to order a dress online.  The day trip may be worth it.  Take the daughter with you only so she can keep you company.

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