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Confession/Spiritual Director

Resa77Resa77
1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
in Catholic Weddings
Do you just go to the usual confession times and confess to whomever's line your in (the shortest line, if you're me), or do you try to confess to the same priest each time? If you confess to the same priest, is it a formal spiritual director situation, or more of a "he's a great confessor so I always get in his line" sort of thing?

 

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Re: Confession/Spiritual Director

  • Resa77Resa77
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I just get in the shortest line.  I've never made an appt for confession, and the honest truth is, I don't want the priest to know it's me.  I like anonimity in confession.  I've heard some say that the way we do confession these days -- a big line, in and out in a couple minutes -- is really not the ideal, and that it's better to have a specific confessor or spiritual director to keep you more accountable for your spiritual growth.  While I totally see the perks of that, it intimidates me so much.  In part, I feel like spiritual directors are for super holy people.  But beyond that, I just feel uncomfortable with it.

    I've heard that women can be spiritual directors -- they can't absolve sins, and so confession is still necessary, but they can offer councel and help you to overcome patterns of sin.  I think that might be a little more comfortable for me.

     

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  • Resa77Resa77
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    Kristan, how did you go about finding you spiritual director?  (On an unrelated note, you and I are going to be enemies on Sat since you're a Houston fan and I'm a Bengals fan!  I *think* I remember you mentioning being a Texans fan, but maybe I'm wrong...)

     

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  • Resa77Resa77
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I don't live in Cincy, I'm in DC.  Our priest on Sunday said that it's still Christmas, and he can tell becausee the Redskins made the playoffs.  He's the biggest Redskins fan I know, and I know a lot!  I'm a Cincy fan because I have family there, though I've never lived there.  It just rubs off on you sometimes.

     

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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    My friend who doesn't have much restraint with his words put it so "delicately":

    To find a spiritual director, you can "pimp" the sacrament of reconciliation. Listen to priest's homilies and go to confession with them to get a feel for orthodoxy and direction of their guidence. 

    I really like the idea of having a priest as both spiritual director and confessor. Both of my past spiritual directors have been priests. That is one of my new years resolutions is to find a spiritual director. 


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  • stantokmstantokm member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper First Anniversary
    TXKristan, I'm like your fiance--I don't like going to confession at my parish.  The priests are amazing, but they know me.  It's bad enough to feel like I've disappointed God with my sins, but to know that one of these men who I respect so much KNOWS WHAT I'VE DONE and have to look at them in the face every week makes me anxious.  I know that it's silly and they probably wouldn't think that way, but it freezes me up.

    On the other hand, the last time I went to confession at a different parish, the priest had a small coughing fit.  I asked if he was okay and he snapped, "I'm fine, just hurry up with your confession!  There are people in line."  He was similarly curt throughout and I felt like absolute crap all day because his nasty demeanor made me feel like I wasn't truly absolved even if he said I was.
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    maybe its because im a horrible sinner, but i like complete anonymity in the confessional.  i dont do face to face and i change around so i never have the same priest.  i often confess at parishes other than my own for even further anonymity (and convenience).  ive even been known to change places in the line if we are lined up prior to the priest arriving particularly if im first in line!!!  paranoid much???
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  • professorscienceprofessorscience member
    5000 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I haven't been to confession as often as I should, but I've always done face-to-face (including the night before my wedding with the priest who married us).  I get the desire for anonymity, but I also just appreciate the idea of looking at someone while I'm confessing.
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  • Resa77Resa77
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    I hear that, Calypso!

     

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  • meltoinemeltoine member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments First Answer
    When I was younger I used to be all about the dark box, but as ive gotten old I've grown to appreciate face-to-face. I also like having the same confessor. If there's a particular sin I'm struggling with repeatedly, he picks up on it and helps me address why this is a problem for me so I can work on fixing it. I find that really valuable. I've never had a spiritual director. Can someone expound on the function and benefits of such a relationship?
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  • agapecarrieagapecarrie member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Combo Breaker
    A spiritual director is necessary for seminarians. Most religious and priests have them.

    Depending on the needs and personalities of both director and directee, S.D. can take many forms. 

    You know how there are certain "windows" you have open to your life at your workplace? There are different windows open with your parents/siblings. Also different windows open with your friends...possibly bigger and more of them. Then with your spouse is more windows.

    With a spiritual director, you lay out all of your windows...and he/she can help you decide which windows should be shut, or opened with different people. It can help keep one balanced and healthy in their life. They can help direct how to handle suffering, what to pray for, accountability, selfishness, humility, etc
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