Did you have to deal with this?

Alko726 · March 2010

Relatives telling you you needed to include certain people (ie their kids) in your wedding? How did you handle it?

ring_pop · March 2010

I'd be surprised to meet anyone who DIDN'T have to deal with this!

It's a balancing act between keeping the peace/making people happy, and your happiness (and of course, budget).

My dad requested 8 distant relatives that we "had to" invite for "respect" or something. We fought a bit, but he's got such a terrible temper that I decided to just let it go and invite them.

(By the way, everyone says, you won't even notice them, and it's true to some extent... there were so many other guests that I barely had to talk to them all night. But to this day, I'm still annoyed that there were people at the wedding who couldn't give 2 shiits about us. None of these 8 even came to the ceremony!)

MIL also requested additional people at the last minute, but my H was able to stand up to her and say that our guest list and seating plans were already set.

Alko726 · March 2010

LOL, oh trust me, we're going to have a number of "strangers" at our wedding on both sides that the parents insist we invite. :P I've come to terms with the fact that our wedding is not really about us anymore. We originally wanted less than 100 people, but it's grown to almost 200+ now!

I was actually referring to having these people in my wedding party, as bridesmaids. :-\ We're two months out... and they're just now asking about it!

meya1955 · March 2010

I'm having a Chinese style banquet/dinner. So I am expecting kids to attend with the parents. Because I'm not having a seating arrangement, I am not stressing TOO much about kids attending and not attending.

Since most of these invites don't believe in RSVP, we are reserving 5 extra tables. We are expecting 350-400 guests.

Alko726 · March 2010

Kudos to your H for standing up to crazy requests, btw! ;-)

ring_pop · March 2010

Oh hell no... I did have a few requests for additions to my BP but we stood firm that we would have who WE chose for the BP. I was able to argue against having my cousins in the BP by pointing out that even my own brother wasn't in it. (He didn't want to be.)

2 months out, the ship has long sailed! There's no way you can get them dresses, order the extra bouquets, etc.!

I gave said cousins a reading to do in the ceremony instead.

Alko726 · March 2010

Apparently I was supposed to know to have asked them long ago. WTH?!

::sigh::

I don't even think they want to be in it themselves. I'm getting the guilt trip for it now though... joy.

vitamint · March 2010

My FMIL offered FIs sisters (ages 50+) to be me BMs since I am only having 2 and he has 5 GM. I was like, um, no thanks I'm good! Not to mention, the fact that I am pretty sure his much older sisters have no desire to be my BMs. If she were going to suggest anyone you would think it would have been her 2 granddaughters who are 22 and 25!

ArielB · April 2010

It's a matter of standing up to what the parents believe is the 'right thing to do". If you are paying for your own wedding, then I would ask them to justify the value add of inviting this people to the wedding.

The alternative is to have them plan their own wedding and "Barbie and Ken" will show up for it and have your own wedding with your own party. It is a way to maintain your own true memories and your own sanity.

Did you have to deal with this?

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