I am watching Something Borrowed, only because there is nothing else on tv right now, and it got me to thinking about cheating and what your ladies stances are on it?
If your SO cheated would you be able to forgive and forget? Would it be automatic divorce for you? Have you ever dated a cheater, or even maybe cheated yourself?
Personally, if FI cheated I'm not sure what I would do. I think it would depend on if it was a one time thing, an emotional thing, or an on-going affair.
This movie always makes me really mad. Granted Kate Hudsons character is not the best person in the world but I still was extremely pissed off when Dex and Rachel ended up happily ever after. I thought Dex was an a-hole anyway.
Re: Thoughts on cheating?
If we were married and had kids I would really hate to get divorced. I would never ever want my kids to have to go through that. BUT - I don't think I could ever truly forgive it.
My ex cheated- I dated him from 16-19 so we were so young and it was a learning experience. We stayed together for awhile but I never got over it. I'm really bad about holding grudges and letting things go also.
So I can't say for sure what I would do if it happened with BF now but I really think the relationship would be over and I would never be able to really forgive..how do you know it won't happen again?
I haven't been cheated on before (That I know of
As it stands right now, no, I don't think I could get past it. I am one of those people that has a hard time dealing with being cheated on. Two of my prior boyfriends cheated on me, and I instantly broke up with them when I found out. Still, to this day, when I see them, I get a twinge of anger and resentment. It is something I know I need to move on from (been over 5 years ago, and I'm in the process of being happily married) but I have a hard time with it. I thought, "Wow, what is so wrong with me that a guy has to look elsewhere for something?" Granted, now, I know it isn't true, but when I am with someone, I expect that I will be the only person they kiss or make love to. This is also an expectation of FI. I want to be the ONLY woman from here on out and the LAST woman he ever makes whoopie with, and (other than the obvious exceptions) I want to be the last person he kisses.
Perhaps it is because I have that built up so in my head, I find it very hard for me to look past the idea of him being unfaithful. With that said, I find it extremely hard to picture my life without FI, and perhaps even harder to seriously give it consideration, because FI just isn't that type of person. When it comes to cheating, he and I are very much on the same page.
So yeah, I guess it would have to depend on the emotional thing - but I'm not sure if a fling or a true affair is worse in my mind. It would just depend on if I thought I could get over it and honestly move on without feeling a twinge of anger, resentment, or whatever.
It's difficult for me to have respect for someone who has cheated. It's just such a massive betrayal of trust and I think it says something about a person's character. An ex-BF of mine cheated on me and even though we are still friendly and I know he has good qualities I still can't help but think less of him because of it.
I dated someone that cheated on me after being together for a year, it took a lot of work and time but I moved on from it. It was a a mistake, and I was young and a little naive, so I didn't leave him. He on the other hand changed dramatically. He also seemed to accusing me a doing the same to him out of spite, and oddly enough stopped trusting me. It put so much strain on our relationship that I broke it off. His guilt ate at him and made him turn it around and he became angry with me for no reason.
After dealing with that, I don't think I would continue the relationship. Even if I moved on, I'm not sure if SO would also.
I have never even come close to cheating on FI. I respect him too much.
If he cheated, I have no idea what I'd do. I'd be really hurt. But let's hope it never comes to that...
For me leaving was best, but I also have a sibling who stayed and their relationship is stronger because they did. They decided to not walk away like I did, because they had a child involved in the relationship. In the end, its worked for them. I do know that my family does always question their happiness, and for this I am sad. I do want them to be happy. The reason these two have worked so far, and my ex and I couldn't, is they had two people willing to put in time to work on a relationship.
Cheating makes trust hard. It wasn't untl I met BF that I felt I could truly let go and trust another person again.
When we talked this weekend (I don't even remember how it came up) I said that I wanted to always put in the work so that cheating is not something either of us feel the need to do because we are missing something in our relationship at home. We both get that the grass isn't greener on the other side and that cheating is really a manifestation of the issues in the relationship. I told him that if he is ever so unhappy that he feels the need to seek physical or emotional support elsewhere that I would want him to tell me so we can fix it or to just ask for a divorce and go do his thing.