Too young to get married?

uneek1323 · January 2011

At what age do you think is too young to get married?

Or, everyone is different and age doesn't matter?

How old were you/will you be when you got/get married?

hmz819 · January 2011

I think everyone is different. I will be 33 when I get married and I couldn't imagine getting married before 30. I had waaaaay too much fun being "single" in my 20s and learned so much about myself during that time.

Also, my Dad told me a long time ago that if I waited until I was 30 he'd pay for the wedding. He told me this when I was 19ish. I thought he was crazy but looking back I think it was one of the best pieces of advise he has given me. I learned to live and depend on me and no one else to be happy. Again, everyone is different and to each thier own.

kelsey+brandon · January 2011

I'll be 23 and FI will be 25. I think it really depends on who you are and what your relationship is like. Life experiences can definitely make you wiser beyond your years, but there are still things that you need to be able to do before you take that step. I do think, that if you're still in [high] school or can't financially support yourself, you are too young to get married.

sunnysarahinNC · January 2011

23 and 25....FI proposed on my 21st birthday, we still had another year of college left!

depends on situation...we're high school sweethearts

NcsuPsych · January 2011

We were both 22 (I was a month away from 23). I still have another semester after this one before I graduate, but I took a 1.5 years off due to family health issues.
I agree, I think it depends on personal situations and life experiences.

I do feel like you should have had your own bills, be able to support yourself and lived to find yourself prior to marriage. With this said, when you know. . you know.

Call me a hypocrite, but I don't agree with people under 21 getting married. This isn't because it's drinking ago, but its an age where you're allowed to do more and experience more.

I'm def. not the same person I was at 18, 19, 20 or 21. I wouldn't have been ready to get married at those ages, but at 22 I knew I was ready and I wanted to continue to grow with DH and find out more of who we were, together.

I'll also say both of us were very independent prior to meeting and marriage, whith I also think is important.

My cousin just recently got married at 18. I went to the wedding and it was lovely, but neither had lived on their own, both had JUST graduated highschool and I just personally felt she was too young. BUT she's happy and in love, so therefore, to them their own and more power to them !

)

jmp0930 · January 2011

I'll be 23 (1 week from being 24) and FI will be 26 when we get married. I agree with PP that a lot of factors make your situation different from other people your age. I met FI when I was 19 and I am not the same girl then as I am now. FI and I's realationship has changed over the past 4 years. I think that you should not do it before you're 21 for the same reasons NCSUpsych said because you don't know who you are at that age and so many things can change. I wouldn't have mind to wait until I was older, but I was lucky to find someone who has seen me at my best and worst and who has seen me grow from a teenager to adult so I think we have a solid foundation to start our lives off of.

NcsuPsych · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_young-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:115Discussion:77048345-df39-4bc4-ab9b-5c1bbfeabe59Post:27f985b4-afcc-41b2-9aa7-4c6b14ef4317">Re: Too young to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll be 23 (1 week from being 24) and FI will be 26 when we get married. I agree with PP that a lot of factors make your situation different from other people your age. I met FI when I was 19 and I am not the same girl then as I am now. FI and I's realationship has changed over the past 4 years. I think that you should not do it before you're 21 for the same reasons NCSUpsych said because you don't know who you are at that age and so many things can change.<strong> I wouldn't have mind to wait until I was older, but I was lucky to find someone who has seen me at my best and worst and who has seen me grow from a teenager to adult so I think we have a solid foundation to start our lives off of.</strong>
Posted by jmp0930[/QUOTE]

I know it's corny for me to say. . .but that to me. . .is beautiful!

amandaandkyle · January 2011

I will be 26 and the FI will be 25 when we get married. We'll have been together since we were 21 and 20, and we've seen each other do some definate growing up over these years.

I agree that every situation is different. I think that everyone is different and totally agree that you should be able to support yourselves (not neccesarily together, but at least take care of yourself financially) and have some life experience before you get married. And that age is different for everyone. I cannot imagine marrying the person I was with at 18 or 20. And we weren't ready to be married 2 or 3 years ago -- we (especially him) still needed to grow up some. We have supported each other through some tough times and 3.5 years of a long distance relationship, and it's all made us stronger. Sometimes age is just a number and it's the experiences you have together that matter.

Just my opinions on the matter.

elizabethb3511 · January 2011

i'm 29 going on 30 and I'm glad I got to enjoy my 20s single. However I wished I had met FI earlier but I'm just glad I met him!!! He's my prince charming.

katangel1987 · January 2011

I am 24 and FI will be 27. I just feel like when you know, you know. Plus it is different for everybody!

uneek1323 · January 2011

Ok, so I normally have the opposite opinion if most people. But that's the way it goes.

FI and I will both be 29 when we get married in May. We met when we were 17, began a friendship, and started dating when we were 18. We've lived apart, went through college, issues with family, health and money, lived together, lived apart and now back together.

I think many people get married too young. Anywhere from teens to 21 is too young. Ideally, I think 25/26 and up is a good age to get married. Many people (this doesn't apply to everyone and certainly not anyone in particular.. I don't know any of you) don't know who they are or what they want out of life at age 20ish.

I hope to not offend anyone. Again, this is not directed at any one specifically. It can't be. I just asked for you all to be honest and wanted to do the same.

mnw0910 · January 2011

I'm 29 and FI is 32. I do think for me it was better to wait. I was 22 when I first met my FI. I wouldn't even date him because I enjoyed my freedom so much! Luckly for me, he waited around and when he asked me out again I was ready to settle down (almost 3 years later). If we had started dating when we first met I don't think we would have lasted.

AnnaW11 · January 2011

My FI and I will have just turned 22 when we get married (him in March, me in April) for our May wedding. Statistically we are definitely in the minority now, with the average age for a female getting married being 26. What makes me confident in getting married young is having the same goal with our marriage, knowing that we are living for the same things. Honestly, my confidence is due to our shared faith and commitments, by seeing the fruit of forgiveness over the past 2 years, and seeing the amazing man he has become over the 4 years we have known each other. Personally, I think (and hope) that I will always be changing and groiwing throughout my life, that I will never get the a place where I've "found myself". I think that at 21/22 I know why I believe what I believe, I trust that God is working in me and my FI and that he is faithful, and I know that marriage with this man is what I have been called to. I can't predict how we will both change, but I do know that what is changing both of us is the same thing.

I'm sorry if that offends anyone, that isn't my intention. But for me, my faith and hope in God is inextricably tied to these decisions.

Rain2rinse · January 2011

I'll be 23 and FI will be 43 when we get married at the end of this year.

This will be my second marriage. The first go round I was nly 16. I had been paying my own bills and such but even so, I just didn't have enough LIFE experience to get married. That ultimately caused the demise of that relationship.

This time, I am much more confident in who I am as a person on my own, and who I want to be with FI.

Love is blind. Age doesn't matter. But it does.

lynettas720 · January 2011

I'll be 41 when I marry for the first time and I certainly didn't think I'd be that old when I did get married.

I was engaged twice before, once at 25 and again at 34. I knew neither one was the right person for me to spend my life with. I too wish that I had met my fi long before I did because he truly makes me so happy and I want as many years with him as I can get. But I also know everything I've been though in my life made me who I am. I think the experiences that I went though with the wrong men have made me appreciate the right one. I know who I am as an individual and understand what it takes to make a relationship work. I know that my fi treats me as I want to be treated for the rest of my life.

heybekaruth · January 2011

I will be 27 and fi will be 30 when we get married. I really think it depends on the couple bc everyone is different but I can't imagine getting married younger than this. I dated a guy all through college and thought he was 'the one' only to (thanksfully) find out he was not. I met now fi at 23 (two years out of college) and I am such a different person now than I was in my early 20's.

Like others said, none of this is meant to offend or to point out any one bc everyone trully is different and only you and your fi know what is right for you...but I think for a great deal of couples, under 24 or 25 is too young.

I am so thankful I had the chance to live on my own, financially support myself and have some time to grow on my own out of college before getting married. However, this is how it was for me so of course I am happy with the way it happened! I couldn't imagine being married younger or to anyone else!

jmp0930 · January 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_north-carolina_young-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:115Discussion:77048345-df39-4bc4-ab9b-5c1bbfeabe59Post:e315adcc-3f53-4b1b-8ac9-426fba69c40b">Re: Too young to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Too young to get married? : I know it's corny for me to say. . .but that to me. . .is beautiful!
Posted by NcsuPsych[/QUOTE]

Haha!! I was trying not to be sappy, but I guess it didn't work! Lol!

jmp0930 · January 2011

Ugh I had a ton of grammar issues in my post. That's what I get for knotting from my itouch.

Adi1076 · January 2011

I was 33 when I got married....and turned 34 nine days later. My now husband was 29. I agree with other posters in that there is no set proper age to be married. Maturity varies from person to person. For me, I married when I was in the perfect relationship with my best friend.

laurenes · January 2011

I agree w/ previous posts. I don't think there should be any set age - I know 30 year olds who are WAY to immature to be going that route and younger people who are already "old souls." By the big day I'll be 24(and a half

) and fiance will be 25. I generally think that anything below 21 or 22 is a bit early, but my grandparents got married as teenagers (18) and are still happily married, so who knows? I do feel though, that before getting married you should be at a stage in your life where you are self sufficient (paying your own bills, working a full time job, etc), because relationships can change (but don't always) dramatically when you go from living as a dependent to living with the stress and pressures of an adult lifestyle.

Hays2be · January 2011

I got married at 19 because I was pregnant--we divorced a couple of years later--both of us were too immature. I remarried at 23, he was 21. I thought he was old enough, but he never matured past that age. He divorced me 20 years later. The classic example of a midlife crisis--had the 13 year younger girlfriend and everything.

So, on to my third marriage. I'll be 48, FI 56. We've been together for a year and a half and he makes me feel safe. This time, I feel like we are both ready and equal partners in the relationship. He gives more in some areas, I give more in others. It balances out and we discuss problems as adults. He's been widowered since '03 and I've been separated/divorced since '05. We've lived alone and I learned how to live (mostly) within my means--something I didn't do in my last marriage.

My parents married at 18 and 22 and will celebrate 50 years next year. FI's parents are closer to 60 and they married in their early 20s. I think that today, it's more of a cultural thing--it's easy to call it quits rather than to stick it out.

chf7667 · January 2011

I have to agree with everything that has been said! I will be 23 and my FI will be 30. I have known him since I was three years old...crazy I know. By the time we get married we will have only dated for about a year and a half. When you know you know! But there are other things to take into consideration like financial stability. My FI and I have had a rough time and we are so glad that we will be stable by the time our wedding comes around. I graduate in May and will be a nurse and he will finally be into his career head on!

So...with all of that said...follow your heart...you will know...it will all fit into place and there will be no effort needed. My FI and I have been truly blessed through our engagement process by God, friends and family. Dont let others tear you down

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