children invited?

FutureMrsPrice2013 · June 2012

So is it bad that I really don't want children at our wedding unless they are in the wedding party? I don't see the point in inviting little kids or babies. Kids don't really care and babies don't know what's going on so really they would be just little dollar signs running around lol! My FI thinks I'm being mean since some kids will be there anyway. I don't want our ceremony or our reception ruined with crying children or kids who won't shut up talking when the ceremony is going on. Idk....

wright944 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_children-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:a5e29853-0c19-4fa3-ab42-9b5b882075c8Post:793107c7-b211-4bc2-b296-8e595bb71426">children invited?</a>:
[QUOTE]So is it bad that I really don't want children at our wedding unless they are in the wedding party? I don't see the point in inviting little kids or babies. Kids don't really care and babies don't know what's going on so really they would be just little dollar signs running around lol! My FI thinks I'm being mean since some kids will be there anyway. I don't want our ceremony or our reception ruined with crying children or kids who won't shut up talking when the ceremony is going on. Idk....
Posted by FutureMrsPrice2013[/QUOTE]

<div>I FEEL THE SAME WAY!!! But my FI thinks I am being mean too. I just don't want to pay for them. We are also having a late evening wedding which I don't feel is appropriate for them anyway. I am not going to specifically say there are no kids invited, but I am going to imply it on the invites by saying Mr. and Mrs. So and So instead of saying the John Doe Family. I am hoping that the get it.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, I don't have any children in my wedding party, so I am trying to eliminate them that way. It sounds terrible, I just don't think that they need to be there. If it was earlier in the day I could see it, but thats not what I am going for. </div><div>
</div><div>Luckily none of my friends have kids, and not a ton of my family ton. I am also hoping that implying no kids also eliminates the family member I don't want there and just feel obligated to invite them. </div><div>
</div><div>I am on your side about no kids!</div><div>
</div>

FutureMrsPrice2013 · June 2012

@wright...exactly! It's not really great to have kids up until the wee hours who are most likely going to fall asleep anyway. Plus there will be alcohol and I don't wanna have to make sure parents are being responsible lol.

wright944 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_children-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:a5e29853-0c19-4fa3-ab42-9b5b882075c8Post:de249236-5207-4f05-945b-8e21a2426c71">Re: children invited?</a>:
[QUOTE]@wright...exactly! It's not really great to have kids up until the wee hours who are most likely going to fall asleep anyway. <strong>Plus there will be alcohol and I don't wanna have to make sure parents are being responsible lol.</strong>
Posted by FutureMrsPrice2013[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>This is actually one of my biggest concerns. We are having our wedding at a park ad it is about 15 min from the hotel that we are booking. We are going to have a shuttle running back and forth, but I want to make sure that parents are watching their kids and being responsible about it. </div>

cassienoel022 · June 2012

We arent inviting children for the reason if alcohol and we want a smaller wedding. Its your wedding do what you guys want. On the invitations can put how many seats your reserved in their honor. This will eliminate most of the child issue but be prepared for people to still ask. For out of towners having a babysitter option for family and close friends might be a good idea too! And we are letting the wedding party kids stay because its a day wedding and all are so young we don't have to worry about them trying to drink haha

bar10521 · June 2012

We're also not inviting children. Thankfully it's a mutual decision between FI and I. We don't want a bunch of kids running around yelling and chasing each other. The children in our families are not very well behaved most of the time and their parents don't have much control over them for the most part so all I can picture are disasters.

The only kids invited will be the ones in the wedding which right now is 2, it may end up as 4 though. If we were to invited all of the kids there would be about an extra 20 mouths to feed and although our caterer charges less for children's meals it's still more money we have to dish out.

We're not going to put on the invites no children or adults only just address the envelope to the parents only and maybe put a place for them to write in the number attending but do it as "___ out of 2 attending." and of course spread it word of mouth. My brother and FSIL are getting married in December and they're doing adults only so thankfully they've set the precedence of no kids.

emilyb213 · June 2012

We aren't inviting kids, because it would increase our guest list by about 30. And frankly, I don't want kids running around everywhere. Nearly every wedding I've been to recently has been kid-free other than the flower girl and ring bearer. Our ring bearer will be there, as well as his baby brother (our ring bearer's mom is my fiance's cousin, and she's due this Sept. with their second kid). Our ring bearer & his parents are really our only out of town guests with kids, so by asking him to be the ring bearer, they won't need to worry about what to do with him. I fully expect that they'll leave the reception early as their younger son will only be about 9 months old at that time. Other than that, our wedding will be a kid-free zone.

Like Cassie said, I intend to mark on the RSVP cards how many seats have been reserved for the invitees, so that no one decides that "Mr. & Mrs. So & So are invited" really means "Mr. & Mrs. So & So and their five kids are invited".

cnf2013 · June 2012

I'd love to have an 18+ only party, but it's just not an option for us. The amount of kids on both our sides of the family is unreal. If we nixed kids we probably only have like 20 of our 130 person guest list show up. I'd say easily a fourth to a third of our guest list is kids. It's just not an option for us. Plus FI is really close to his cousins kids and he would be upset if they didn't come. They call him Uncle Cousin Robert and it's adorable. His cousins are the kind of people who go places and are like "well there's plenty of people here, I don't have to watch over my kids too closely when there's so many available eyes". This makes me somewhat uneasy about the kids being monitored. I plan on arranging the seating chart to make sure the kids are under their parents watch. I'm also going to make sure there's tons of kid stuff for them to do.

Miss Esa · June 2012

My SO and I are not invinting children. The only uner 21 people invited will be my brothers (both will be 18 at the time) His sister (she will be 16) and my cousins (they will be 13 and 17).

n3rdl3t · June 2012

My FI and I also decided no kids.. there's just no point in paying for someone to be bored.. On the Invitiations we are only putting Mr & Mrs. ____ and on the rsvp cards we're going to do ___ of 2, etc. are able to attend so that there is no confusion! I know some people will be sad to have to find a sitter, but its mostly close/immediate family so they will understand (I hope!)

anastassiiat · June 2012

I think it's totally fine if you don't invite kids! Since FI and I have a daughter we have a lot of friends with young kids, but they are all happy to be able to get out just by themselves without having to worry about keeping their kids occupied or worrying that their kids will get into some sort of trouble. I agree with what Bar was saying about wording on the invites, that way your guests won't think that there is an option of bringing their kids.

The only thing that I've noticed on other discussion boards is if someone will have a very young infant at the time of the wedding they are usually considered to be an exception to the "no kids" rule. I know you've mentioned that you don't want to have the infants crying, but maybe if you can seat those couples (if there even are any) near the door so that the mom can leave quickly if necesary? Just my opinion though!

sssdee · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_children-invited?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:a5e29853-0c19-4fa3-ab42-9b5b882075c8Post:a467a008-97ca-4249-b36a-ad59b65c4e86">Re: children invited?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's totally fine if you don't invite kids! Since FI and I have a daughter <strong>we have a lot of friends with young kids, but they are all happy to be able to get out just by themselves without having to worry about keeping their kids occupied or worrying that their kids will get into some sort of trouble</strong>. I agree with what Bar was saying about wording on the invites, that way your guests won't think that there is an option of bringing their kids. The only thing that I've noticed on other discussion boards is if someone will have a very young infant at the time of the wedding they are usually considered to be an exception to the "no kids" rule. I know you've mentioned that you don't want to have the infants crying, but maybe if you can seat those couples (if there even are any) near the door so that the mom can leave quickly if necesary? Just my opinion though!
Posted by anastassiiat[/QUOTE]

This is what I have heard from many of my friends with kids as well when I was asking their honest opinions of a couple close ones who aren't in the WP.

FI and I aren't inviting kids for several reasons you've all mentioned. I think our 2 biggest reasons was the additional head count as well as the extremely high children's plate cost (Our venue is charging $80 per child's plate) to FI and I, this cost isn't justifiable to us and we will be inviting adults only.

I've briefly looked into it and there are a couple things you can discreetly put to discourage your guests from adding children or uninvited guests:

1) I've seen the outer envelope only addressed to Mr & Mrs SoandSo (If you are using an inner envelope as well, this is where you spell out their names individually (Ie. Jackie Soandso)
2) On the RSVP state the number of seats reserved
3) On the RSVP put "___ Number of guest attending the adult reception"
4) On the RSVP "Jackie Soandso accepts__ declines __" (Individuals spelt out on RSVP)

I'm not sure how exactly we'll go about doing ours yet but I thought I would share the above. I'd love to see any others people know about.

blferguson1s · June 2012

We won't be stipulating no kids, though I don't expect very many to be there. FI and I will both be 22 at the wedding, and very few of our friends will be married/have kids. The only little ones will be my cousins' kids, and at least 2 of them are in the WP. Other than that, we have cousins down to about age 10, but they're all pretty well behaved. I hadn't even considered a no kids stipulation, but that's just us.

I think for those wanting to go with the no kids idea, putting ____ of # on the RSVP cards is an awesome idea! We've got some geniuses on this board. :-)

FutureMrsPrice2013 · June 2012

thanks so much ladies! Glad I wrote on here

I feel better now about it. Definately liking the reserved seats idea.

rmp4996 · June 2012

We are definetly not inviting children. FI has soooooooooooo many kids in his family, it would add like 50 more peopel to pay for. Plus, some of his cousins have a rep of not really watching their kids and partying instead. I had a surprised party for him at my house last summer, and there were kids unattended, even though I have an inground pool!!!!! And they made such a mess, wasting food, throwing things, I would be terrified to go to my cocktail hour with them running around. I think it is a good idea not to invite kids, except the ones in your wedding party. Guests will understand, I have been to many weddings with no kids. They might even enjoy a night off to not have to worry about it.

sparkles776 · June 2012

We are inviting all of our first cousins. The youngest one is 8, with most of them being teenagers. In our family, that is just what we do, but I am drawing the line at that, no cousins kids or friends kids.

cnf2013 · June 2012

All our family is from out of state and all of FI's is coming from about 2000 miles away. They're making a whole vacation out of the trip so to ask them to get babysitters for all eight kids for like a week plus is just too much. I'd love to have an adult party and I'm jealous of those of you getting that!

cnf2013 · June 2012

Our families would also be offended. Probably his more than mine, as they're all a big southern family that does everything together.

belle7fl · June 2012

I really didn't want to have kids either but my FI said we couldn't not invite them. He has a big family but most of his nieces and nephews are over 16. There are a handful between 5 and 10 one being my niece who is in the WP. I'm hoping they decide to leave the younger ones home but if not our children's plates are only $12 so it's not too bad. I may have a children's activity table or something depending on how many end up coming.

children invited?

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