siblings and children

jnl1225 · January 2012

so FI and I were talking about children being invited to the wedding. we agree that no children invited unless in the wedding party. now here's the dilemma, I'm the oldest of 9 children and I feel that my siblings are exempt. he's the youngest. the youngest of my sibs will be 14 at the time of the wedding. input please?

emarston1 · January 2012

Input on what exactly? Are you asking if your brothers and sisters should be invited because they violate your no children policy?

Simply Fated · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_siblings-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:02797dc7-c189-4ec9-98eb-d62f83afe4cePost:92a84789-31b8-4f4b-a095-049220bf15cc">siblings and children</a>:
[QUOTE]so FI and I were talking about children being invited to the wedding. we agree that no children invited unless in the wedding party. now here's the dilemma, I'm the oldest of 9 children and<strong> I feel that my siblings are exempt.</strong> he's the youngest. the youngest of my sibs will be 14 at the time of the wedding. input please?
Posted by jnl1225[/QUOTE]
Does your fiance not agree that your siblings are exempt?

annakb8 · January 2012

I feel like 14 isn't exactly a kid anymore.

Anyway, I think siblings are the obvious exception. We invited kids, but even if we hadn't my 9 year old brother would have been there, because he's my effing brother.

jnl1225 · January 2012

he thinks ppl will have issues because they're kids. and ppl would have something to say. I think they're exempt because they are my siblings, though one has a role in the wedding

emarston1 · January 2012

If people don't understand why their kids weren't invited but the siblings of the bride were, they have problems.

If he thinks this is going to be a major issue (it won't), just invite children.

Simply Fated · January 2012

People should understand because they know they are your siblings.

There are always going to be people who think their sweet, precious angels should be invited everywhere, but they need to get over that.
They are your siblings and even those with gripes might understand that, ya know?

mollyehren · January 2012

Most people do wedding party and immediate family are exempt from the no child policy.

Starfish0116 · January 2012

Invite your siblings, no matter the age.

We're having no kids, and my sister will be 13 at the time of the wedding. She's in the wedding, and will attend the reception as well. That would be horrible to exclude her and she would be SO hurt.

The RB & FG are my "niece and nephew" (my BFF/MOH's kids) and they will not be attending the reception, at the request of their mom. I welcomed them with open arms, but ultimately left the decision up to her. They go to bed by 7pm and it will be a long day. She knows them best, and feels like they wouldn't make it that late. Plus, she wants to enjoy the wedding without having to worry about keeping them entertained or in check.

artbyallie · January 2012

Siblings are immediate family. Of course they're invited.

jnl1225 · January 2012

thank you for all your input. he just feels like everyone would have a problem with it. like I told him immediate family versus extended family. it's going to be an argue meant between us for a while, but I think he's finally gets my feelings on it. I don't have many "blood" relatives because my mom was adopted and my family minus my mom's mom remind me that I'm not blood daily. my dad will not be there I haven't seen him since I was 7 and my mom passed away. I want my blood relatives there.

littleluckypenny · January 2012

I have siblings that are 16, 14, and 1. I have a stepbrother that is 15. It's a given that they are invited because you don't exclude siblings. I'm having an adult wedding. The only exceptions are nieces and nephews, which include a 14 yr old, 8 yr old twins and two 1 yr olds. I KNOW their parents are not bringing them, but I just couldn't imagine NOT inviting them, I would feel guilty. People know siblings are always invited, no matter how old they are. People accept niece/nephew exceptions and children in wedding party exceptions.

tenofcups4me · January 2012

Of course you'd invite your siblings. Any guest would understand why your siblings are there and their kids weren't invited. You can make any kind of "reasonable" cut off you want with kids: all, none, just siblings, just nieces and nephews, just wedding party and siblings and nieces and nephews, etc. The only thing that it's really poor form to do is invite most children and then exclude just some families.

Cortney1982 · January 2012

Woah, you FI doesn't want your siblings at your wedding?!!!! His can but yours can't? It doesn't matter if your siblings are younger, that is incredibly selfish. If I was 14 (which is more than old enough to behave appropriately at a wedding) I would be extremely hurt if I wasn't invited to my own sisters wedding.

RaptorSLH · January 2012

[QUOTE] I don't have many "blood" relatives because my mom was adopted and my family minus my mom's mom remind me that I'm not blood daily.
Posted by jnl1225[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm angry on your behalf. In your shoes, I would have no problem excluding people who treated me like that. I wish you all the best dealing with those @*&$%.</div><div>
</div><div>Your FI has a point in that, if it's not clear why some kids are invited and some aren't, there can be hard feelings. The thing is, in this case, you have a very clear dividing line - immediate family and wedding party kids only. That kind of division is clear, sensible, understandable, and common. If it would help, tell him so, and send him our way if he is still skeptical.</div>

kmmssg · January 2012

I'm a MOB who is a huge proponent of no kid weddings. Siblings are NOT part of the no kid mandate.

Hopefully your FI is coming around on this. As a MOB if my FSIL didn't want my son at his wedding it would cause LONG STANDING hard feelings. He is really looking at this all wrong. Any guest who didn't see the difference between underage sibling and any other child wouldn't be someone I would be worried about.

rebarobert2012 · January 2012

I would imagine that it would cause some very hurt feelings if you did not invite your siblings to the wedding.

AlmostMrsStrong · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_siblings-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:02797dc7-c189-4ec9-98eb-d62f83afe4cePost:7cdc439d-0f4a-4fa6-8031-36cd0457573a">Re: siblings and children</a>:
[QUOTE]thank you for all your input. <strong>he just feels like everyone would have a problem with it.</strong> like I told him immediate family versus extended family. it's going to be an argue meant between us for a while, but I think he's finally gets my feelings on it. I don't have many "blood" relatives because my mom was adopted and <strong>my family minus my mom's mom remind me that I'm not blood daily</strong>. my dad will not be there I haven't seen him since I was 7 and my mom passed away. I want my blood relatives there.
Posted by jnl1225[/QUOTE]

<div>1) People would have a problem with your siblings being there? ...No. Your FI is totally wrong on this one.</div><div>
</div><div>2) I want to punch these people in the throat on your behalf. WTF?!</div>

dramaqueen91087 · January 2012

Our cutoff age is 21. The exceptions are my sister (20), his brother (13), my first cousins (17 +18) and the FG/RB (3 year old twins). The line is very clear, I would never exclude my FI's brother just because hes only 13. Also, while the FG/RB are invited to and welcome at the reception, I doubt they will stay for very long.

ast.meghan · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_siblings-children?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:02797dc7-c189-4ec9-98eb-d62f83afe4cePost:685e98a6-19ea-4acc-b744-bd3a1a394171">Re: siblings and children</a>:
[QUOTE]he thinks ppl will have issues because they're kids. and ppl would have something to say. I think they're exempt because they are my siblings, though one has a role in the wedding
Posted by jnl1225[/QUOTE]

<div>No one will even question it. They are your siblings and (most) everyone should understand that.</div>

lyndausvi · January 2012

Wow.. So your FI thinks the other guests will understand WP kids being there and not your own sibling? I just can't wrap my head around that logic.

I only had my nieces and nephews at my wedding. If my DH had even suggested trying to exclude them there would have been major issues. One of my siblings? Sorry they are non-negotiable to me.

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