Father - Daughter Dilemma Help?

nessaalwayz · June 2012

So I'll try to make this as concise as possible.

My mom got married, and had 2 kids... then they separated. She then had 3 more kids (including me) with another man.

My biological father was never in the picture; I wouldn't even know him if I walked past him on the street. My mom's ex - husband (the older two's father) was semi- in our lives. To everyone, he is all 5 of our's dad, but he's still kinda a deadbeat dad, and I rarely see him.

However, compared to my biological father, he did 1000x times more for us, but that still was really nothing.

So now I'm getting married & everything gets confusing. I've already decided my mom is walking me down the aisle - that was a no-brainer! But now I'm stuck on the father - daughter dance debacle?

I really would prefer NOT to dance with him because I don't really have any kind of affection for him (we live within minutes and I haven't even seen or heard from him in 2 yrs or so - and that's normal!).

However, I don't wanna hurt his feelings or make him look bad because he will be there & so will some of his family (or so he says...). I don't want people asking "why didnt you get a dance?" and such...

I'm DEFINITELY doing a mother-daughter dance. But do I do a father - daughter dance as well just to appease him? Or do I do what I really want and only dance with my mom and then feel guilty about NOT doing a father-daughter dance?

ANY AND ALL SUGGESTIONS WELCOME! I'm soooo stuck!

Help! "/

wussica · June 2012

I think I would skip the father daughter dance if I was in your shoes. If I felt a ton of pressure to do it, I might use one song and start with the father daughter dance then switch into the mother daughter dance. But, really, skipping it entirely makes the most sense to me. Sorry about your situation!

odustudent22 · June 2012

is this something you feel you could ask him about? maybe make it a casual question, hey, what are your thoughts on having a dance togther or not? OR maybe skip it, and if he says anything tell him you totally plan on dancing with him at some point, but you felt that with the mother-daughter and the mother-son (I am assuming you plan on that) that a 3rd dance would be to much to ask your guests to sit through. I don't know....good luck though and keep us posted on what you deside =D

DeClue82 · June 2012

I"d say skip it...

Sunshine811 · June 2012

Reading this, if I were in your shoes, I would skip it. I would also, however, send him an email or talk with him or something before hand so its not a surprise. However, you know your relationship better than any of us so this completely up to you. Good luck!

Kris012 · June 2012

Skip it, and i like Odustudemt 22's reason, that you don't want your guests to have to sit through 3 dances. And don't feel guilty, you have your reasons, and you're entitled to them.

ohnoitskaroljo · June 2012

Skip it. It's YOUR day you don't have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable.

KT020803 · June 2012

I would skip it. Don't do it just for him, you're mother is the one who raised you. Spend the special attention time on that moment instead.

[Deleted User] · June 2012

I'd skip it.

unicorntrees · June 2012

Just skip it. Not everyone does all of the dances anyway. Plus, I'm in a similar situation. My dad will be there but purely as a guest. FI and I decided to skip any parent dances because it was easiest. And even if FI wants to have a song for his mom, we figured they could just dance along with everyone else and not make it a special big deal, and then he'll just tell her he picked the song.

orangemell2012 · June 2012

I agree with everyone else, skip it!

Father - Daughter Dilemma Help?

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