C & V Thursday

emilyb213 · August 2012

Confessions? Vents? I know you've got 'em, so let's hear 'em!!

sopraffina · August 2012

Confession: I'm turning into a total bridezilla when it comes to my dress. I'm physically ill thinking about it. There are about 6 Justin Alexander styles that I would sell a kidney for. There is one place in the state to try on plus-size Justin Alexander gowns. They have a few, but none of the ones I want. I'm actually considering paying the shipping to try on one of the others, but I can't afford to ship all of them to Michigan. Yes, I know how crazy this sounds.

Vent: I'd been trying to lose weight since April 27th. I lost zero pounds. A couple weeks ago, I gave up. I've been eating like a pig and not working out. I've gained zero pounds.

ems27 · August 2012

Confession: I am very frustrated with FMIL right now. We usually get along very well, but since she is in London I don't get to see or speak with her very often. I understand that she is upset that her only son will be moving out of the country, and that she is excited about the wedding as he is the first of her six children to marry, but this last visit became very stressful for me. I found out that she doesn't like the day of the week or the type of venue that FI and I have chosen for our London bash, she was trying to talk me into an entirely different week (I am going to be a school teacher, I can only go over my vacation), and generally was sounding like FI hasn't been telling her anything and that he hadn't been passing on her thoughts to me, so she has become very disconnected from the planning. She also has been having quite a selfish outlook on any event plans, including our party in London, meaning that she only really cares that it is convenient for her family to get to. This part is frustrating since I have been actively making decisions (such as which church to use, rather than my childhood one) to make things as convenient and easy as possible for his family and friends to the US, and my intention was to compromise the convenience for both sides when we go to London. It's just difficult to try to be considerate of FI's family when it seems like FMIL doesn't particularly care either way about mine.

We both know that he will only discuss things he thinks are really interesting, so I know that I need to make sure he is talking with his mom more about our thoughts and opinons on what is happening and asking what she thinks more. But what makes me really annoyed with that is that I tried to keep her up-to-date with emails early on, and considered any thoughts she had on venue and made sure to explain what FI and I were envisioning. She straight up stopped responding to emails, and now is acting surprised and hurt that she doesn't know what's going on.

I sent her some emails yesterday with info she wanted, and things that FI and I decided we needed to all get on the same page about (she wanted some dress suggestions for herself, and we needed to get on the same page with this London party), and have had no response. The trend with her is if she doesn't respond within 24 hours, you're not getting a response... she's on summer break and didn't have anything going on yesterday or today, so it's really starting to get to me that she is trying to guilt us for not including her when she seems to be cutting herself out.

I'm sorry that's so long, it's just very frustrating for me to feel like I am disappointing and upsetting my FMIL when I try to be fair and considerate of everyone's opinions and convenience.

Vent: I am leaving my current job in two weeks and have mentally checked out since I returned from my trip. If I didn't need the money, I would just leave now- I am bored and disengaged from what's going on! And COLD.

rmp4996 · August 2012

Confession: I just enrolled in a Masters Program, and I'm worried about the choice I made. I ended up in a special education program, and what worries me is that it still won't help me get a teaching job and it won't open any other fields up for me really. I had contemplated going for a bio or chemistry masters, but I REALLY want to be a teacher and think I'll be unhappy in a lab. I'm basically chasing a dream, and if it doesn't come true I'll have wasted a lot of time and money. Vent: I can't stand anyone on the road. I have the worst road rage, and literally find myself yelling at people in my car, lol. I hate driving. Also, I'm getting FI cufflinks for our 8 year anniversary which is today, for him to wear for the wedding, but I feel kinda bad because I know its not something he like REALLY wants. They are nice, black diamonds to match his ring, but still. I'm making it up to him by cooking him a really nice dinner tonight, and maybe I'll pick up something "special" to wear tonight, lol. This last part was more a confession, not a vent. But I really hate so many things about people on the road, that was my real vent lol.

SB1512 · August 2012

In Response to Re:C :[QUOTE]Confession: I just enrolled in a Masters Program, and I'm worried about the choice I made. I ended up in a special education program, and what worries me is that it still won't help me get a teaching job and it won't open any other fields up for me really. I had contemplated going for a bio or chemistry masters, but I REALLY want to be a teacher and think I'll be unhappy in a lab. I'm basically chasing a dream, and if it doesn't come true I'll have wasted a lot of time and money.

Vent: I can't stand anyone on the road. I have the worst road rage, and literally find myself yelling at people in my car, lol. I hate driving. Also, I'm getting FI cufflinks for our 8 year anniversary which is today, for him to wear for the wedding, but I feel kinda bad because I know its not something he like REALLY wants. They are nice, black diamonds to match his ring, but still. I'm making it up to him by cooking him a really nice dinner tonight, and maybe I'll pick up something "special" to wear tonight, lol. This last part was more a confession, not a vent. But I really hate so many things about people on the road, that was my real vent lol. Posted by rmp4996[/QUOTE]

Rmp I have had several friends that were regular teachers and having trouble finding work. Most went back for either special Ed or some sort of reading degree and have had many doors open. With a lot of schools trying to integrate special education students into the classroom with regular students and not use resource rooms as much schools often to look to hire teachers with the special Ed degree rather than just regular education. Good luck!

ems27 · August 2012

MrsK, that SUCKS. I'm really sorry, and it is completely inappropriate for them to be using your house for their private, personal business. Offering to help does not give them free rein over the house!

Rmp, ditto SB- I think you should go into your program feeling you've made the best decision for yourself at this time. You need to pursue the career that you will be happiest with, and focusing in special education is a great move career-wise.

Sopra- that is so frustrating :-( Have you tried drinking a ton of water?

bar10521 · August 2012

Confession: FI and I had agreed that we weren't going to do a honeymoon since we really want to buy a house. We were going to do a few days or a week away either in NH or Maine but I found a 7day New England/Canada cruise that leaves from Boston that for the 2 of us would cost around $1200 total. So now I'm trying to talk him into this since I think we'd spend around that much on hotels, gas and food for a week anyways. He isn't completely sold since it won't include alcohol. This isn't something we'd normally chose I would much rather do a Caribbean cruise but it would be more money for less time because airfare is so much.

Vent: I had posted the save the dates I made on fb and you all seemed to like them and helped me out a lot. I showed FI and he showed a few friends at work and they said the bottom left picture looked dirty (for the cruder version they said it looked like "I was taking it up the butt") and we shouldn't use that picture. I am pissed they said that because it's one of my favorite pictures of us and never thought that. So now they've slightly ruined the picture for me a little and I changed the picture in the save the date. I'm just mad that they said something so gross about the picture.

ashbeth06 · August 2012

Mrs K - My mouth just dropped at reading your vent. I cannot believe his parents would just come and go as they please...its your house, whether they have a key or not! You have every right to feel they way you do!

Confession: I'm really looking forward to the cake tasting Sunday even thought I know we probably won't be ordering cake from there. Maybe for our birthdays?! Lol. I'm also a tad nervous about asking our ring bearer. He told the future hubs no on the phone, but he does like girls and he's only 3! Lol.

Vent- I'm soo stinking tired of living in two places. I've been doing this for 3 years now! So excited to finally call the future hubs and I's apartment my place in front of everyone now. I don't mind being at my parents- they've never treated me like a child since I graduated high school and I can come and go as I please, but the fact that my name is on the lease, but I haven't "lived" there since the future hubs moved in is kinda ridiculous. And the fact that I have to keep a twin in the other room to make it look like we sleep apart to please his father. I'm pretty sure mom knows we don't sleep apart, but hasn't said anything. Lol. I am so ready to be married and trying not to cause issues with his father!

Sjmiller418 · August 2012

This is kind of a confession and a vent. I know it's not really fair to think like this but I can't help it. I get soo pissed off when people tell me about missing thier SO cause they haven't seen them for a few days. I just want to snap at them get over it a few days is nothing and at least your able to talk to them whenever you want and know theyre safe. It's like they forget my fiance is deployed so haven't seen him in months and don't know when I will see him again or even get to hear from him.

Julie2013 · August 2012

Sopraffina, your weight loss struggle sounds about like mine!

Ems, I can't imagine how much harder all this is for you having to deal with events on two different continents, a FI who isn't chatting about relaying info, and a FMIL who seems to be a bit on the passive aggressive side! My sympathies!

Rmp, was that you laying on the horn behind me last week when I couldn't get around a tractor driving down the road? (j/k, of course!)

MrsKaiser, you FILs sound a lot like mine have been through our marriage -- just as big a pain in the butt as they are a big help! You don't know whether to be happy or annoyed when they show up!

Bar, DH and I plan often about taking a cruise someday. Btw, if you ever decide to do a vow renewal, cruises have amazing packages for that!

Ashbeth, I bet that does get old going back and forth all the time! My dh and I didn't live together before we got married, either, but we saw each other so much that we might as well have!

Confession: I have friends and family volunteering to do things like bake the cake, do the flowers, and be the photographer. This is mostly a dinner party with a vow renewal kicking it off and we want it to be a big thanks from me and DH for being there for us throughout the 15 yrs of our marriage. I'm telling them I don't want them to work since the party is supposed to be a treat for them, not an occasion to work. The real reason I don't want them to do what they are volunteering for is none of them are professionals and I worry about how well they will do it. I don't want to be secretly mad at somebody because I didn't like what they did! Not to mention, I want to be able to make demands as a client and that's not so easy when it's family or friends!

Vent: I'm annoyed at not being able to make reservations at a venue! They've assured me they don't fill up that fast around my small town, but I've always leaned toward having bad luck instead of good. I want a contract and reservation now!

Julie

emilyb213 · August 2012

Bar- Your fiance's friends sound like dbags. That picture of you two is really cute and you should leave it on the save the dates. And possibly tell them to go kick rocks.

I've got no confessions, only a vent: I've been working like crazy on two new projects at work. Yesterday, I found out that project #1 is on hold until the beginning of September. This afternoon, I found out that project #2 is on hold for 90-ish days. So...I've been busting my butt to get stuff done ASAP so that my deadlines are met, only to find out that everything's being put on the back burner. Glad I spent the last three weeks trying to stay ahead of the game.

anastassiiat · August 2012

Bar - I think it's guys nature to find inappropriate meaning in pictures even if it's totally out of place, and I doubt anyone else would think that way.

MrsK - I can't believe your FI's parents would have sex in your house! That just sounds so weird.

Confession: I don't think I have anything today. I've been at a conference all morning so my brain is not working properly though, maybe that's why I can't think of anything.

Vent: I'm getting a cold yet again! I hate my office space in summer, they have the AC blasting, so I feel like it gets me sick all the time. And on top of that FI likes to have the AC on so I sleep under the blanket, and it's like 90 degrees outside!

Meghannsix · August 2012

Wow, I got nothin on you girls this week, there's some wild stuff going on!

I only have a bit of a vent: I went for Mohs surgery on Tuesday morning. Fi was supposed to drive me, because I was supposed to have someone pick me up aftewards. He slept on the couch the night before, which happens about 50% of the time if he wants to stay up later or if he doesn't want to wear his CPAP - he snores very very very loud when he doesn't wear it, I just can't have that in my bedroom. I told him what time he needed to be up, 7:45, so we could leave at 7:50. I came running down the stairs at 7:50, expecting him to be at least awake with car keys. He was still asleep. Mouth open. Snoring. I drove myself so I wouldn't be late. I knew if I woke him up then, he'd take a couple of minutes to wake up and realize what was supposed to be going on. So when I came home later that day, and fussed at him about not waking up, he asked if I had tried to shake him. I lost it! Did I shake him? Is he a child? Who woke me up? No one! I set my alarm and woke up on time. He was mad at me for yelling at him. So my face is swollen, I have 12 stiches right next to my eye, I'm in pain, I drove myself and back, but I'm the one in the wrong? No way! He's been super sweet since, but I'm irritated! Time to adjust my expectations I guess.

rmp4996 · August 2012

Thank you everyone for all your support with the Master's Program. Figures, I finally start to get excited and now I find out I might not even get into the program this fall. The lady I spoke to said she didn't think I would need my transcript from the school I went to 8 years ago and olny for a year, since all the credits transferred to my other program. However, I got an e-mail today saying I need it, and my getting in the program may depend on it. My GPA is 1 point shy of the requirement, and if I don't get the transcript in time, I'll miss registering/might not get accepted. I can't log into my old school anymore since it's been so long, so I'll have to wait until they can mail it to me, which probably isn't until next week. There are only 5 open seats left in the program. I'm frustrated because the woman yesterday was so positive, basically saying I was in, showing me where to get books, etc, and now I might not be able to do it. Uggghhh why can;t things just be easy sometimes?

bar10521 · August 2012

Thank you ladies for the picture support! His work friends are a bunch of a-holes and I dont care about their opinion but he was worried that since they thought it people we were sending them to would. So now we've changed the picture for a different one. I tried to tell him the girls on TK liked it and some of you specifically commented on that picture but he wasn't having it.

KplusA · August 2012

Confession: I am sooo relieved to finally have a new dress! I think my dress regret was enough of a confession for this week. Now I just have to tell my bridesmaids and FMIL that I bought a new dress, which I'm nervous about. I'm scared that everyone is going to think I'm a crazy mess. I wouldn't even bother telling them except that they already saw pictures of the old dress, and they will totally notice if I randomly put on a lace fit-and-flare instead of a satin a-line at the wedding! Lesson learned: don't show anyone your dress unless you absolutely love it! And don't ever put yourself in a position where you need to make a quick decision about a dress!

Vent: The computer system at work has been a mess all week, and I couldn't get any of my paperwork done until today. I have to do a write up every time I work with a student, so I got really behind on my paperwork for this week which never happens! I'm going on vacation Saturday-Tuesday so I have to get everything done tomorrow. It's going to be a long day : ( It wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have to spend so much time in Philly traffic getting to and from the office! I definitely need a vacation!

Julie2013 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_c-v-thursday-18?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:7c2b2b9f-f474-456f-87fb-6b4fc0f37096Post:16fd7751-7f30-4ea4-81b0-d24508128ff3">Re: C & V Thursday</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow, I got nothin on you girls this week, there's some wild stuff going on! I only have a bit of a vent: I went for Mohs surgery on Tuesday morning. Fi was supposed to drive me, because I was supposed to have someone pick me up aftewards. He slept on the couch the night before, which happens about 50% of the time if he wants to stay up later or if he doesn't want to wear his CPAP - he snores very very very loud when he doesn't wear it, I just can't have that in my bedroom. I told him what time he needed to be up, 7:45, so we could leave at 7:50. I came running down the stairs at 7:50, expecting him to be at least awake with car keys. He was still asleep. Mouth open. Snoring. I drove myself so I wouldn't be late. I knew if I woke him up then, he'd take a couple of minutes to wake up and realize what was supposed to be going on. So when I came home later that day, and fussed at him about not waking up, he asked if I had tried to shake him. I lost it! Did I shake him? Is he a child? Who woke me up? No one! I set my alarm and woke up on time. He was mad at me for yelling at him. So my face is swollen, I have 12 stiches right next to my eye, I'm in pain, I drove myself and back, but I'm the one in the wrong? No way! He's been super sweet since, but I'm irritated! Time to adjust my expectations I guess.
Posted by Meghannsix[/QUOTE]

Meghannsix, one of the things that's been a hurdle in my marriage is my husband's sleep issues. Not waking up when we needed him to, sleeping when he shouldn't be, being awake when he should be sleeping. Basically being unreliable because of them. He was diagnosed with sleep apnea (among a few other things) and given a CPAP, too, but he never could make peace with the thing. He'd even try to force himself to use it, like it or not, but take it off during the night in his sleep without remembering doing it. As you said, the kids and I have had to "adjust our expectations." Luckily, my husband has more leeway in his days since becoming a truck driver. The client doesn't care much about what his hours are as long as he gets the load there on time. But this issue has driven us to the edge of divorce many times. It can be tough. He feels bad because he knows how hard this makes things for the kids and me and it has taken me a lot of years to find sympathy for the problem. He has this alarm clock now called a Screaming Meanie. It is horrendous! But I won't complain because it does bring him awake where used to he'd sleep through all the alarms. Anyway, just thought you might like to know you aren't alone with this one. It can be hard to adjust those expectations and my husband may have a problems much worse than your FI, but sometimes it's just nice to know people get through some stuff we have to face, don't you think?

Julie

cnf2013 · August 2012

I'm super late on this. I was soooo busy yesterday at work I never even stepped foot in my office.

MrsK, I vomed a bit in my mouth thinking about my or FI's parents doing it in our bedroom or house. Once you're moved in I'd suggest changing your locks. They don't need a key. You guys bought a house to get our own space, not make an escape zone or sexy palace for his parents. Ewwies. None of our parents have a key to our house. They know where the spare is hidden in the garage, but we also live an hour away, so that helps.

Confession: The deck is allllllmoooooossttttt done. We're going to start the railing this weekend and that's the last thing. Except for putting up lattice around the bottom to keep the dog from going under it and digging. But that's not dire and can wait til the fall. I need this thing to be done. It has been our entire summer and if we don't finish soon I'm going to take one of the three chainsaw currently taking up my parking space in the garage and hack the thing down.

Vent: Not much of one. I don't really have one. I'm just tired. The house is a mess, as usual. FI isn't really bothered by messes and our dog is finally losing his puppy fur and I just can't seem to keep up with the tumble weeds he's shedding.

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