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head table

sstobbesstobbe
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in Wisconsin

I was reading a post on the etiquette board about the head table and who sits there. It never even dawned on me that my WP's guests should be sitting at the head table with us. I've never been to a wedding where that was the case. We have 16ppl in our wedding party (MOH and GM are engaged), so that would mean we'd have an additional 14ppl at the head table if we did this. 32 people all at one table seems a bit excessive.

I know we don't want to have our WP scattered through out the room during dinner, because that's just not what we're used to. We were just planning on putting our WP's guests with other people they knew & honestly never thought twice about it.

Anyways, a few girls mentioned that maybe it's a regional thing (midwest mostly). And a few girls said they were from the midwest and never saw a headtable without WP's guests.

What are you guys doing? Am I being rude by seperating my WP from their dates?

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Re: head table

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    beckster5551beckster5551
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    We are not having a head table but I can tell you from weddings that I have been to in the past, usually the So of the WP are not at the head table. The last few weddings I went to the WP sat at the head table and their SO sat with the other guest. I personally do not like the idea of not letting them sit together.

    We decided not to do a head table and to my surprise, people were upset! LOL.

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    browneyedbride7browneyedbride7
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    edited December 2011
    I've NEVER been to a wedding reception where the WP's significant others were at the head table.  We are NOT having dates/significant others of our WP members at the head table.  We are putting all the dates at a separate table, or with other people they know.
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    gundy21gundy21 member
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    edited December 2011
    We did not have a head table.  We sat a round table with our parents, the rest of the BP was at tables with their SO and friends/family they knew.  The BP loved being able to sit with "their people'" and no one was up on a stage presented for everyone to watch them eat.
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    Tiger_TammerTiger_Tammer
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    edited December 2011
    I have never seen the guest sit at the head table with the BP. We are choosing to sit with our guests. No head table, no sweetheart table either.

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    WiscisblissWiscisbliss
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    edited December 2011
    We just had the WP at our head table.  We made sure that their guests sat at a table with other people that they knew. 
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    Pod0512Pod0512 member
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    edited December 2011
    I haven't seen SO's at the head table at any of the weddings in WI I've attended.  The only exception was when I was a bridesmaid in my friends wedding a few years ago, and let me tell you, it was such a pleasant surprise to be able to sit with my date!  FI (BF at the time) didn't know anyone, and he's not really a social guy so I know he would have been miserable by himself.

    We don't have a big wedding party, so we'll be sitting at a regular table with them and their dates.  No risers, no being on display...

    What about making a "kings" table?  Have the WP and their SO's sit with you guys at a long rectangular table and sit all the way around it, not just on one side.  You could leave a gap so that you and your husband are visible as well.
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    sstobbesstobbe
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    edited December 2011
    I think we're already sort of doing that. With the WP being so large, 18ppl including my FI and I, we couldn't fit at 1 long table. We also won't have any risers or anything either.

    I tried to make a picture of the set up. Forgive my kindergarden level art skills.




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    Pod0512Pod0512 member
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    edited December 2011
    I really like that setup!  Can you add another table to the head table?  Make it a really big square?  I guess people might be too far away from eachother then.  Or make it really long down the middle?  You could probably take away the two tables in the middle if that works.

    I don't know.  I honestly wouldn't judge you for putting only WP at the table, esp since you have such a large one.  Do all the SO's know someone that they can sit with?  If that's the case, I wouldn't worry about it.  I just think it would be nice for those who don't know anyone to not have to sit alone, esp if there is some way to arrange it so they don't have to, KWIM?
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    sstobbesstobbe
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    edited December 2011
    S/O's all know eachother for the most part. There isn't anyone coming to our wedding that doesn't know someone else that will be there.
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    LISASUMLISASUM
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I think it all depends on the bridal couple. If the wp has dates, it's appropiate they sit with their dates, because the dates probably doesn't know anyone.
    Then there are couples that want their day intimate, so they sit together (sweetheart table) and leave out the rest of the wp. Now, when doing the introduction, the wp would walk down and sit at their designated table. 
    My wp consists of my sisters and my husband's brothers so we sat together. The same as my two sister-n-laws when they got married. 
    If you separate the wp from their dates, don't worry. The wp only stay at the head table for dinner and then they leave to join the crowd/dates.

    Good Luck! 
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