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April 2012 Weddings

Slow RSVPs

Hi Everyone,

I'm getting married April 28 and the RSVP deadline was last week. We have two stragglers and my fiancé has reached out to both (his aunt and one of the grad students he works with). Frustratingly, both replied that they wouldn't know until closer to the date. I'm of the opinion that saying that is incredibly rude and that they need to rsvp - my fiance says it's no big deal and we can wait until the caterer's deadline in two weeks to get their answers. Unfortunately their responses will etermine how many tables we get - if they're both nos we can stick with 8 tables but if either is coming we need one more. I'm frustrated and not sure how to proceed; am I being absurd?
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Re: Slow RSVPs

  • I don't think so. Its frustrating because you have to do seating charts and then if you have to order escort cards. Printing takes a bit so it would be cutting it extremely close. Our RSVP date is this weekend and we are getting in touch with anyone who hasn't repsonded right away too. I need the final headcount and need to send the escort cards to the printer!
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  • I know it is totally frustrating, but sometimes people really do have a good reason.  For example, a good friend of mine and her husband aren't sure because he will be deploying sometime in the next two months.  Seriously, that's the timeline that they've been given.  Until he gets his orders, he's not allowed to make any travel plans.  I'm not saying that your guests have equally good reasons, just that they might.  Good luck, and try to concentrate on how much fun you will be having soon enough!
  • em01092em01092 member
    1000 Comments
    edited March 2012
    Yeah it sucks, but for whatever reason they are having to hold out. They may not want to tell you no yet because they really want to come and don't just want you to write them off just yet. 

    Just tell them the absolute last day that you MUST know by, and then if you have not heard, you unfortunately must assume they are a no. You can go ahead and write their escort cards JIC, so if they do say yes, you have that done, and if they say no, just toss it. I would also plan for the extra table, because better to have extra room than not enough! 
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  • In Response to Re: Slow RSVPs:
    [QUOTE]Yeah it sucks, but for whatever reason they are having to hold out. They may not want to tell you no yet because they really want to come and don't just want you to write them off just yet.  Just tell them the absolute last day that you MUST know by, and then if you have not heard, you unfortunately must assume they are a no. You can go ahead and write their escort cards JIC, so if they do say yes, you have that done, and if they say no, just toss it. I would also plan for the extra table, because better to have extra room than not enough! 
    Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

    couldn't have said it better myself
    April 2012 March Siggy Challenge - Honeymoon!! Costa Rica
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    image 158 Invited
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  • pattib5pattib5 member
    100 Comments
    edited March 2012
    I'm in the exact same boat as you! I'm getting married the day before you and for work reasons my aunt can't tell me if she'll be able to attend until two weeks before the wedding. My instincts are telling me she won't be able to make it. But I'd be mortified if she did show up and I had no place for her, so I'm proceeding as if she's accepted. If she can't attend, I'll just toss her place card and eat the cost for her meal.
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  • We had a similar problem, and in their defense, I think these people want to make the effort to be there, but in my experience they never show. I asked my caterer, if they come, can we squeeze them in at a table without over-crowding and they said yes. My big deal was space and I didn't want to add extra tables. Maybe you could ask venue or caterer because I think they usually have very roomy tables.
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  • It can be frustrating.  I agree to tell them the absolute last date you can know.  Maybe make seating charts including them and then not including them so it will be done either way depending on what they say.
  • Great thoughts, everyone! I think we'll go with using two seating charts for now and telling them we MUST know by the 14th. Hopefully they'll have it together by then...
    image 122 Invited
    image 77 Are ready to party!
    image 45 Are missing out!
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