Seriously???

marcellah · January 2012

I don't know how much more hurt I can take, ladies...

So I've already told you about my dad promising money that is no where to be seen, and my mother who could care less about things I tell her about the wedding, but there's MORE.

1. My MOH had been saying we would do the bachelorette party during spring break for everone's ease. She's now going to DC for SB. (we have one planned now, but it just seemed weird that it was her idea to have it during SB, then decides she's going on a vacation. again.) And it was during all of this other hurt that she told me she was going out of state. It just seems like everything is piling up.

2. There has been zero talk of a bridal shower, and I know it seems silly, but its just one of those things that every bride does... I don't care so much about hte presents, but seeing everyone and celebrating this time in my life has pretty much been swept under the rug.

3. My dad just told me my grandmother isn't coming to the ceremony... because "she doesn't want to be in a wheel chair." I'm her first granddaughter AND her namesake.

I'm seriously on the verge of tears. Bleh.

inhisname2010 · January 2012

I'm soooo sorry. I just want to give you a hug. Don't worry about all the negativity they are trying to put your way. Just focus on the happiest day to come (even though I know its hard). Have you asked you MOH why she chose to go away when she suggested the bachelorette party aroung this time?

vpluta · January 2012

I am so sorry to hear that. However like inhisname said focus on marrying the guy you love the day of. It also seems like you will have to take the shower and bacherlotte party into your own hands. You can have a simple gather at your place for a shower As far as the bacherlotte party tell them what your doing and when to be there.

cgyvhu · January 2012

sorry this is causing you lots of stress. I'm sure you know your girls aren't required to throw you a shower or bachelorette, so try not to be upset they aren't happening in the way you hoped.

I would be pretty upset if my grandmother weren't coming too. I hope someone can convince her otherwise.

em01092 · January 2012

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all of this! I know it's frustrating when people say things and do another. While showers and bparties aren't required, like your parents giving you money, it's wrong for people to say they will do things and then not follow through. It seems like we all have to do a lot of "taking the high road." My MOH is wonderful and just spreads herself too thin. She commits to things before knowing all her plans and it really irritates me, because I'm so organized, but I just try to accept that not everyone is like I am. Your MOH may not even remember saying that, or that you would take it to heart.

And while it'd be fine to have a small get together at your house to see people, it would be tacky to call it a shower, so please don't follow that advice.

marcellah · January 2012

Of course I know that my girls aren't required to throw parties and showers, and my parents giving me money isn't required as well.

It isn't the actual money, it isn't the party, it isn't the shower. It's none of the material things that I may or may not miss out on that is bothering me. I would bend over backwards for my friends. (And have, if anyone remembers my hell of a MOH experience last year.) I just feel like my whole life has been about other people, and this one time, this ONE TIME it might have a little bit to do with me, and no one even takes a second glance.

*pity party* lol

I would never throw a shower for myself, and my mom won't do one for me either, since that is uncooth as well. Like I said, it isn't any of the material things, it just would have been nice to feel appreciated by someone OTHER than my awesome FI.

I think the straw that broke the camel's back was my grandma saying she wouldn't come... I've worried my whole life whether or not my grandparents would be around to come to my wedding, and she is...but just won't. It breaks my heart.

Things have just been piling up, and as awesome as FI is, he doesn't get how deeply hurt I am that THROUGH MY WEDDING PLANNING my family has lied to me, cheated me, shoved me aside and pushed me under the rug. I've just been so hurt in these last few weeks. This would all be different if no one mentioned helping with money, throwing parties or anything from the beginning.

Bleh. The end. I have to be at work soon, and I can't go crying now. lol

blgrout · January 2012

*hugs* There are really no words other than it's sucky that your family is treating your wedding like it's NBD. Is your FI's family around? I can't remember if you mentioned them or not...since they'll be your family in a few months, maybe they can help you out?

My BFF and MOH has family that acted similiar when she was getting married, there is so much drama between her immediate family members and they totally ignored her, broke promises to her, etc. that she had a secret ceremony that only her, her H, her brother, her son and me went to. She cancelled her big wedding since the only support she had was me and her H's family, but they live in Texas, so they couldn't do much to help. It makes me mad to see families rain on someone's big important day, considering marriage is one of the most important things you can do in your life, short of having babies.

Not that I'm suggesting you cancel your wedding, cause she did it with 6 months to go, so she didn't lose much, but find other people that will support you and love you and make you important, since this is an important moment in your life.

IDK if any of that even made sense, I'm lacking in the caffeine department this morning.

em01092 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_seriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:27b332b3-89ac-48a1-9c71-e5c1cccd064ePost:092f55ff-b50e-4ac7-b203-a95dd63b1bda">Re: Seriously???</a>:
[QUOTE]Of course I know that my girls aren't required to throw parties and showers, and my parents giving me money isn't required as well. It isn't the actual money, it isn't the party, it isn't the shower. It's none of the material things that I may or may not miss out on that is bothering me. I would bend over backwards for my friends. (And have, if anyone remembers my hell of a MOH experience last year.) I just feel like my whole life has been about other people, and this one time, this ONE TIME it might have a little bit to do with me, and no one even takes a second glance. :( *pity party* lol I would never throw a shower for myself, and my mom won't do one for me either, since that is uncooth as well. Like I said, it isn't any of the material things, it just would have been nice to feel appreciated by someone OTHER than my awesome FI. I think the straw that broke the camel's back was my grandma saying she wouldn't come... I've worried my whole life whether or not my grandparents would be around to come to my wedding, and she is...but just won't. It breaks my heart. Things have just been piling up, and as awesome as FI is, he doesn't get how deeply hurt I am that THROUGH MY WEDDING PLANNING my family has lied to me, cheated me, shoved me aside and pushed me under the rug. I've just been so hurt in these last few weeks. <strong>This would all be different if no one mentioned helping with money, throwing parties or anything from the beginning.</strong> Bleh. The end. I have to be at work soon, and I can't go crying now. lol
Posted by marcellah[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Exactly! I feel the same way, 100%. People shouldn't say things to be nice and then not follow through. Yeah stuff happens, like emergencies and accidents, which is TOTALLY different, but sometimes people just don't think about what they say and how not following through just because they forget or can't commit can really hurt. This is something I plan to stress to my kids. It's one thing to never mention it, but to mention it and not follow through is 100x worse. </div><div>
</div><div>One of my relatives told me on my birthday one year that she'd have $200 in my bank account the next day. Never saw it. She also talked about a lot of things for my wedding, none of which I have seen or heard mention of. It sucks, but stuff like this keeps me from getting my hopes up anymore when people say things. I still agree that they shouldn't, but you can't control what people say. I hate it that my advice to you is to be a pessimist, but that's all I really have in terms of what YOU can control, KWIM?</div><div>
</div><div>And I guess I can try and make you laugh. I hope this doesn't offend you with language but it makes me laugh so hard. </div><div>
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marcellah · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_seriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:27b332b3-89ac-48a1-9c71-e5c1cccd064ePost:45216688-85b2-4e6a-8c70-7d5f03c0db0a">Re: Seriously???</a>:
[QUOTE]And I guess I can try and make you laugh. I hope this doesn't offend you with language but it makes me laugh so hard.
Posted by em01092[/QUOTE]

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</div><div>I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THAT PICTURE!!! Thanks. It made my day! </div>

em01092 · January 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_seriously?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:27b332b3-89ac-48a1-9c71-e5c1cccd064ePost:6ea52251-af6d-44fe-a186-b14109d3a51a">Re: Seriously???</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Seriously??? : I LAUGHED SO HARD AT THAT PICTURE!!! Thanks. It made my day!
Posted by marcellah[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yay! I laughed at it again just now! hahahah

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