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Hostess?

aldeludealdelude
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in Wedding Party

My sister and I have always had a love/hate relationship (a typical sisterly thing). She is not a bridesmaid for me, but recently we have been getting along and I want to honor her somehow. I’m thinking as putting her as a hostess, but don’t really know much about the position. Has anyone had a hostess for their wedding? What were their duties?

 

I want to give a real position, not just some fake honor just for the sake of it. She’s a wonderful social butterfly and is wonderful to everyone she meets. I think I would like her to help greet the guests throughout the day, have her walk our mother down the aisle, work as second eye, etc. Any one have any ideas?

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Re: Hostess?

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    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    A job ≠ honor.  A job = job.  And what you're proposing sounds like a job.  

    Could she do a reading at the ceremony? 
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    aldeludealdelude
    First Comment
    edited January 2010
    It is a job, but I know that's she will be doing anyway. She loves to chat with everyone and I think that me giving her permission to do this is a positive. I mean I can make up the terms of what I want my hostess to do so I can cater to her personality. 
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    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Creating a job and dictating its terms to someone is a risky move as a bride.  I would personally recommend shying away from it.  She doesn't need your "permission" to do something she'll be doing anyway.  And it doesn't make it an honor for you to define parameters for her behaviour.  

    Put yourself in her shoes: would you consider this an honor?  I frankly wouldn't.
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    mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    5 Love Its First Comment Combo Breaker
    If you don't know what a position actually entails, then that's a good sign that you shouldn't assign it to someone.

    Asking her to escort your mother down the aisle is fine. I would NOT, however, ask her to stand there and greet guests or be a second eye. If she does it on her own, awesome, but don't assign it to her as a job. (And her enjoying chatting with people doesn't give you the justfication to assign her a job during your wedding doing that thing.)
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    aldeludealdelude
    First Comment
    I actually think she would be excited to do it. I think she would be offended  if I asked her to do something like a reading or hand out programs. Maybe we are just a weird bunch, but I know her really well. 

    She really wants to have a bridesmaid dress and be part of the wedding. Thinking along that idea what would you recommend?  I could have her a bridesmaid, but I am not interested in adding a groomsmen. I think the most important part is that I really want her to walk my mother down the aisle. 
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    bablingbrookebablingbrooke member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    Your heart is in the right place but the execution may not go as well as you hope.  If you insist on going through with this, please keep in mind she may not be as receptive to it as you hope.  Especially given your last comment, which leads me to my next point.

    Please keep in mind that if you add a BM, your FI doesn't have to add a GM.  WPs are not all about symmetry.  The sooner you abandon that idea, the more options you will find have been presented to you.  If she wants to be a BM, think what a magnanimous gesture that would be.  Remember, you may lose touch with your friends but your sister will always be your sister.
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    MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    Have her as a BM.  Your idea of a hostess sounds like a PITA job.  If she really wants to be a BM, asking her to work at your wedding is not going to help anything.

    Get over the even sides thing.  People are more important than numbers. 
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    megk8ozmegk8oz member
    First Comment
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_hostess?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:3e7879e8-c158-48ac-aa25-c45f73dc1690Post:691334b9-f7ee-4830-9c16-df4faf6caa2d">Hostess?</a>:
    [QUOTE]My sister and I have always had a love/hate relationship (a typical sisterly thing). She is not a bridesmaid for me, but recently we have been getting along and I want to honor her somehow. I’m thinking as putting her as a hostess, but don’t really know much about the position. Has anyone had a hostess for their wedding? What were their duties?   I want to give a real position, not just some fake honor just for the sake of it. She’s a wonderful social butterfly and is wonderful to everyone she meets. I think I would like her to help greet the guests throughout the day, have her walk our mother down the aisle, work as second eye, etc. Any one have any ideas?
    Posted by aldelude[/QUOTE]

    We had a "hostess" at our wedding. She was also our DOC. And she received a paycheck.

    If somebody can get <strong>paid</strong> to do something at your wedding, you're not really "honoring" a family member by giving them the priveledge of doing it for you free of charge.

    If you fire a WP member, you're against America.
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    emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    First Comment
    If she's wearing a BM dress, she's a BM. If she's telling you she wants to wear one, I think that means she wants to be a BM. You aren't required to add her, but if you want to, go for it. No need to add a GM.
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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    I have six BMs and FI has 5 GM... and to be honest, I like the look of one extra BM, it makes pictures look MORE symmetrical (not why we have the uneven sides). Think it will be you in the middle, and 6 girls in the same dress to your one side, and 6 guys in tuxedos to your left side, and you in the white dress in the middle. Basically, you can make anything work, and make it look good. We are having 1 GM walk 2 BM's as they leave the church, and when they enter the reception, said GM is walking said BM"s into it. No need for even sides at all. I'd have a talk with her and say you've gotten really close, and it would honor you if she would be a BM... done and done.
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    CTGirl30CTGirl30
    First Comment
    If you want your sister to be a BM, then ask her to be one. Your FI does NOT need to ask an additional person to be on his side. WPs are not about symmetry - they're about honoring the people closest to you.

    Also, this sounds silly - she doesn't need your permission to be social and chat with other people at your wedding:

    It is a job, but I know that's she will be doing anyway. She loves to chat with everyone and I think that me giving her permission to do this is a positive.
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