I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?

ootmother2 · October 2011

There was an argument on another board during the week about pre marital sex, does your church teach or that it's okay?

The major nay sayer to chastity said that there is nothing said about sex before marriage in the bible so it's okay. I thought abstinence was a Christian concept, not exclusivity Catholic.

I can find "Thou shalt not commit adultery and thou shall not covet they neighbors wife in OT. But nothing in the New Testament.

Be gentle, please. I'm Catholic and any and all bible study has been done on my own, not in school or church.

Thanks !

azdancer8 · October 2011

Here is what I found:

"Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous." Hebrews 13:4

"But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband." 1 Cor 7:2

Plus any number of other verses in the NT about sexual immorality.

The Bible says that sex should be saved for the marriage bed, and only for the marriage bed. That way sex could be as it was meant to be - a beautiful thing between a married couple. Sex outside of marriage would fall under "sexual immorality".

sessionswedding · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:efd893df-b90b-4d49-bea6-91ca4275a3d2">I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]There was an argument on another board during the week about pre marital sex, does your church teach or that it's okay? <strong>The major nay sayer to chastity said that there is nothing said about sex before marriage in the bible so it's okay.</strong> I thought abstinence was a Christian concept, not exclusivity Catholic. I can find "Thou shalt not commit adultery and thou shall not covet they neighbors wife in OT. But nothing in the New Testament. Be gentle, please. I'm Catholic <strong>and any and all bible study has been done on my own, not in school or church.</strong> Thanks !
Posted by ootmother2[/QUOTE]
Meh...well...that depends. PP posted some good verses, but it depends on the definition of "sexual immorality." The major writer of the NT was the Apostle Paul, and in his time and given his audience, the term "sexual immorality" actually leaned more towards meaning orgies, homosexuality, prostitution, etc. So it's not as black and white as a lot of people assume it would be in the Bible.

That being said, most <em>churches</em> do teach that premarital sex is wrong. I mean, there are good things to be said about waiting for marriage to have sex, even with the church reasons taken completely out of the picture.

Also, I've done pretty much all of my Bible study myself as well, so I know kinda where you're coming from there.

RebeccaJac · October 2011

Paul speaks about if you can't control yourself sexually, go get married so everything willl be good and not sinful.

The woman caught in the act sleeping wtih a man not her husband was told to go and sin no more by Christ himself.

I've taken classes on Paul and his teachings and never come accross the theory that he was only speaking about orgies and extreme sexual immorality.

I am pretty liberal on most things but I personally believe sex before marriage is both committing adultery and stealing. You were created to be sexually wtih your spouse alone and by having sex before marriage you're not only cheating on your spouse but you're also stealing from your partner's future spouse. You're stealing their right to have their spouse exclusively.

Sex before marriage is just something that shouldn't be messed with. It's dangerous physically, emotionally, psychologically. We weren't created for it and many people will testify that it severely messed with their lives.

Honestly, people can make the Bible say whatever they want it to. I would find a priest you can talk to about it. Someone who has maybe been to seminary and has formal training on it, especially something as big as this.

DramaGeek · October 2011

Yes, my church (and every church I've ever been a part of, actually) teaches that sex is for marriage. There are a multitude of reasons, Biblical and non, but darned if I remember any of the verses to back it up!

FaithCaitlin · October 2011

I'm a nonpracticing Catholic. We were always told sex before marriage was wrong. It was never supported, in school, by Scripture. FI and I had sex together(and only with each other) before marriage. We don't regret our decision but we understand why people feel differently.

mrandmrsbrist · October 2011

I grew up Baptist and was always taught that sex was for marriage, without much Bible to back it up. I never thought to challenge it and ended up waiting for marriage to have sex for the first time and I'm fine with the decision.

I no longer consider myself Baptist. I now attend a non-denominational church which teaches the same thing.

GApeachOH · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:04379046-0eb7-47c5-9c15-ccb0c7ab824a">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]Paul speaks about if you can't control yourself sexually, go get married so everything willl be good and not sinful. The woman caught in the act sleeping wtih a man not her husband was told to go and sin no more by Christ himself. I've taken classes on Paul and his teachings and never come accross the theory that he was only speaking about orgies and extreme sexual immorality. I am pretty liberal on most things but I personally believe sex before marriage is both committing adultery and stealing. You were created to be sexually wtih your spouse alone and by having sex before marriage you're not only cheating on your spouse but you're also stealing from your partner's future spouse. You're stealing their right to have their spouse exclusively. Sex before marriage is just something that shouldn't be messed with. It's dangerous physically, emotionally, psychologically. We weren't created for it and many people will testify that it severely messed with their lives. Honestly, people can make the Bible say whatever they want it to. I would find a priest you can talk to about it. Someone who has maybe been to seminary and has formal training on it, especially something as big as this.
Posted by RebeccaJac[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>
</div><div>This entirely. I could not have said it better. </div><div>I had sex before marriage and many partners. You know what I ended up with? HPV. It's not cancerous, but it can lead to complications down the road. </div><div>Just do yourself the favor and avoid pre-marital sex if not only for your health and for your future.

</div>

ochemjenn · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:04379046-0eb7-47c5-9c15-ccb0c7ab824a">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE] I've taken classes on Paul and his teachings and never come accross the theory that he was only speaking about orgies and extreme sexual immorality. Posted by RebeccaJac[/QUOTE]

I wouldn't say it's - it's an issue of translation. The argument is that given context and the Greek used, it refers to prostitution at the Temple. Unfortunately I can't read Greek myself so I can't really give any more info.

To answer OOT's question, I haven't heard any sermons regarding the topic. No Sunday school lessons about it either, but I've never attended a church large enough to have a separate young adult class. I don't think the married couples who are old enough to have grandchildren are interested in hearing about pre-marital sex.

iamjoesgurl · October 2011

Every church I have ever attended (protestant - different denominations) has taught that pre-marital sex is wrong. I don't remember specific scriptures that have been used to back that up. Since I was a teenager I've understood God's design for sex to be between two married people which would prevent disease, unplanned pregnancy, and a lot of emotional issues that people deal with when they enter into marriage having had (or marrying someone who has had) previous sexual relationships.

I feel like the laws in the OT (mosaic laws) were created for the Israelites to help them develop boundaries and live healthy lives. Even though Christ came to fulfill the law and we are under grace now, I believe that the Ten Commandments are still valid. (I'm not saying that you disagree - I just wasn't sure I understood why you were asking about the NT.)

I know that we've had debate on this board and someone could make the case that two people who are monogamous wouldn't risk disease and birth control methods can prevent pregnancy. But I've known too many people who have been in a monogamous relationship and watched it end. Then they wished that they hadn't opened up that very intimate part of their life to someone who would not end up to be their husband. These are the things that help me to understand the value of abstinence before marriage. I guess that what I'm saying is that I don't see it purely as a Biblical matter.

I would not judge someone for disagreeing but if asked my opinion, this is what I would say.

RebeccaJac · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:60c18f5c-4505-4517-94f2-bd0913fe800e">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info? : I wouldn't say it's - it's an issue of translation. The argument is that given context and the Greek used, it refers to prostitution at the Temple. <strong>Unfortunately I can't read Greek myself so I can't really give any more info.</strong> To answer OOT's question, I haven't heard any sermons regarding the topic. No Sunday school lessons about it either, but I've never attended a church large enough to have a separate young adult class. I don't think the married couples who are old enough to have grandchildren are interested in hearing about pre-marital sex.
Posted by ochemjenn[/QUOTE]

<div>Unfortunately I have taken Greek haha. I wouldn't wish it on anyone! I'm not super advanced yet in the language itself, but going back to the Greek specific in those passages or the formal theories I've seen there's nothing that leads me to believe he wasn't talking about sex before marriage. If anyone has research that says otherwise, I'd love to see it. </div>

ootmother2 · October 2011

Thank you all for the information. I really appreciated it!

oot

musicalsunlight · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:d94e1950-7436-46c1-b40a-fb6e7d7fd77b">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info? : This entirely. I could not have said it better.<strong> </strong> I had sex before marriage and many partners. You know what I ended up with? HPV. It's not cancerous, but it can lead to complications down the road. Just do yourself the favor and avoid pre-marital sex if not only for your health and for your future.
Posted by GApeachOH[/QUOTE]

You can get HPV even if you wait until marriage to have sex. And having sex before marriage doesn't mean you definitely will get STDs.

mrandmrsbrist · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:657b3779-248c-432e-bf9e-3b5a8db1e144">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info? : You can get HPV even if you wait until marriage to have sex. And having sex before marriage doesn't mean you definitely will get STDs.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

Logic FTW!

musicalsunlight · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:e163b7f9-a9d2-42ad-825c-aac8029e76fa">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info? : Logic FTW!
Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

lol. :) I guess the STD argument just bothers me, because it is quite possible to have a sex life outside of marriage without STDs. But I mean, of course abstinence is the best way to prevent them.

RebeccaJac · October 2011

Love your quote! I'm a fellow MPLS girl

musicalsunlight · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:60a9a52c-a546-4412-8c79-a80b0a389305">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]Love your quote! I'm a fellow MPLS girl ;)
Posted by RebeccaJac[/QUOTE]

Haha, thanks. Its from a fellow Knottie, and I found it as a good point. :) I think I've seen you around the MSP board. :)

GApeachOH · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:657b3779-248c-432e-bf9e-3b5a8db1e144">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info? : You can get HPV even if you wait until marriage to have sex. And having sex before marriage doesn't mean you definitely will get STDs.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]

This I know. However, if both you and your partner wait, it drastically cuts your chances for both.

sessionswedding · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:dcc391f8-12f2-4c8b-946d-e73266406f73">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info? : lol. :) I guess the STD argument just bothers me, because it is quite possible to have a sex life outside of marriage without STDs. But I mean, of course abstinence is the best way to prevent them.
Posted by musicalsunlight[/QUOTE]
This.

agape1cor813 · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:e163b7f9-a9d2-42ad-825c-aac8029e76fa">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info? : Logic FTW!
Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>This made me LOL :-)

</div>

naomikb · October 2011

oot, it sounds like you've got the information you need.

But for my 2 cents, I don't recall my church ever actually teaching about premarital sex. My parents certainly taught it to us, but I don't recall it ever really being raised at youth group or confirmation classes or anything. It didn't even come up at our premarital meeting with the pastor. Maybe a bit of a taboo subject for our group?

mrandmrsbrist · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:95a3e10b-88a6-4e3e-bfdd-f7ddfc38b6e3">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info? : This I know. However, if both you and your partner wait, it drastically cuts your chances for both.
Posted by GApeachOH[/QUOTE]

Musical's point was that it's very possible to have a sexual relationship outside of marriage without STD's. Just because sex is occuring outside the marriage doesn't mean that both of the people will automatically have STD's. Doctors perform the same tests if you're married or not.

musicalsunlight · October 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_christian-weddings_ie-never-posted-here-can-info?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:464687ae-7bc1-4360-9aea-999e11f1e1adDiscussion:4fb55e6d-6cba-46c2-ad6c-50475330f32dPost:894ad1bd-3487-439f-bc9b-933585c58a17">Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info? : Musical's point was that it's very possible to have a sexual relationship outside of marriage without STD's. Just because sex is occuring outside the marriage doesn't mean that both of the people will automatically have STD's. Doctors perform the same tests if you're married or not.
Posted by mrandmrsbrist[/QUOTE]

Yes, this. Of course it is increasing one's risk to have STDs by having sex. But, full disclosure, I'm not a virgin (probably obvious by my post). However, I go to the docotr regularly enough that when I first started having sex (with my FI and it was my first/only partner), my doctor would have caught anything relatively quickly.

fpaemp2011 · October 2011

The church I was raised in teaches that any physical intimacy that, as my youth pastor said, "gets your motor going," outside of a marriage between one man and one woman, is a sin. They define the start of marriage as making a covenant before God and the Church.

I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?

Re: I've never posted here, Can you help me with some info?

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