July 2012 Weddings

For those of you who have decided NOT to change your last name..

I know there's a few on this board that have mentioned not changing their last name. I know it's a personal decision and no one can make it for me. I'm rather asking to hear why you've decided not to make the name change.

In Ecuador it isn't necessary for me to change my last name, in fact it's practically unheard of these days. It's viewed as your name is solely yours and there's no reason to change it just because you got married. My marriage will be automatically valid in the US but I'm almost positive I'll have to present my name at some point and that's when I'll need to decide. I'm completely undecided because I love my last name and I don't fancy having to make tons of changes with a new one. A last name that is actually more difficult to pronounce than my own. My own is enough as it is thanks hahaha! Anyway FI has no preference, instead his opinion is that I shouldn't change because my last name is well, mine. But he also does understand the difference in culture where in the US having the same last name as your family/ husband is sometimes important. So anyway, I just want to hear from you ladies that decided against changing their name :)

Re: For those of you who have decided NOT to change your last name..

  • Nati05Nati05 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_for-those-of-you-who-have-decided-not-to-change-your-last-name?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:93bf8efe-7d0d-4318-9d3f-132b3592e3a8Post:da4ac5d0-c3bd-45d7-ac23-29682cb4c4a6">Re: For those of you who have decided NOT to change your last name..</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm not changing mine. I never wanted to. I remember having a small panic attack as a kid because someone told me that I'd one day be "Mrs. Someoneelse." I've just never had an interest in changing my name, and don't see any reason to. Plus, he doesn't have to change his, so why should I have to change mine? Really, it's up to you. Either choice is accepted in the US (though perhaps to different levels in different regions/by different individuals). Which name would you prefer? P.S. 1: A Chilean friend said that the American tradition of women changing their names is "provincial." It made me giggle. P.S. 2: I am so jealous that your marriage will be automatically valid in the US! We have to jump through a ton of hoops to get Germany to recognize ours.
    Posted by Schatzi13[/QUOTE]

    @ P.S. 1- That's the general response I've gotten on the topic here as well haha!

    @ P.S. 2- I got a little worried for a second thinking I might be wrong. But I just checked the embassy site again and I think it's because I'm a dual citizen. In fact it says if you're a dual citizen, get married as an Ecuadorian cuz it's easier and cheaper hahaha. And that it will be recognized by the US. Maybe I'm wrong with the automatically part.. but that's the impression it gives. Do you have dual citizenship? I can't remember if you've already mentioned this..
  • Nati05Nati05 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary
    Gotcha, that's a good point. These things are incredibly complicated and frustrating! And while we're at it ;-) since you're planning on getting FI a green card, does that mean you are planning to live there permanently? FI and I are both undecided about where we want to live permanently. Of course it would be ideal for him to have something that allows him to leave and enter the country when we decide, but I don't think there's anything like that besides citizenship lol. What are your and FI's living plans?
  • I am also not changing my last name.  We don't see it as necessary because we aren't having kids and FI's last name is a lot more difficult than mine so I don't want to change it.

    We won't feel like any less of a family because we don't have the same last name and professionally, I think it will create a lot of confusion.

    I also can't imagine all of documents that would have to changed and I don't want to worry about that whole process.
  • I WISH I could change my name immediately after the wedding. I really like my FI's name and I am not close to my father, and my mother has a different last name than I have anyway, so I really was excited to take his.

    BUT since I am currently living outside of the states on a work visa, we decided it would be way too complicated to change my name right now. I would have to change my passport, which holds my visa, so that would mean I would have to change my visa, and that is too much of a headache.

    So, my plan is to change my name when I move back to the U.S. and don't have to worry about visa's anymore. I might start unofficially changing it. I got a gmail account with my new last name. I might change my FB name to have both last names. I figure I can kind of slowly move into the new name by having the next year or two as a transition where I use both.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • I'm also not changing my last name. I may in a few years, but right now, I just really don't want to. My family is well known in CT and my last name really defines me. I knew ever since I was a child I never wanted to change it. If we end up having kids down the road, I may change it or hyphen or something. But right now I just don't want to. FI doesn't care anyway because he's from Montreal and spouses can't change their names there.
    "Judging a person does not define who they are. It defines who you are."
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