Hello. I have been engaged since March. I love my fiance very much. We haven't started "officially" planning yet because my sister is home for awhile and my parents are planning to help her move across the country to grad school, and then my mom is going to help me. I am out of my Freshman year of college, and I'm not going back next year (I'm going to a cosmetology school near my hometown), so my fiance and I are staying here for the summer. Fiance is looking for an apartment, and my parents are fine with me staying for the year it takes me to complete my program. The thing is, my mom and I have a strange relationship. She is an alcoholic, and only my immediate family really knows. About 2-6 times a week she gets so drunk and just comes into my room and just stands there and insults me and my sister and says that we think we're better than everyone, and calls us bitches, and sometimes even brings my fiance into it. She is rude and doens't listen because she is so impaired. Her comments are hurtful. She just told me and my sisters (we are both engaged) not to invite her to our weddings. I can't even explain this. It's so confusing, because when she is sober we have a pretty normal mother-daughter relationship. I mean, we fight sometimes, but who doesn't? But this drunken fighting isn't normal. It hurts me. I try to just brush it off as drunkeness, and it doesn't mean anything, but it does. I don't even know what to do about wedding stuff. It's over a year away and I'm so stressed about how she will manage to ruin it. It's been like this for years. I don't know how I've managed to put up with it for all these years. She does many wonderful things for me, like helping pay for school, and all the things she's done through high school and before. I've tried to tell her to get help, but she doesn't want it, doesn't listen. My father doesn't do anything. He gets too stressed out and just goes to bed when mom starts in. I can't even explain how deep she manages to hurt me and my sister. She sends so many mixed signals. She says she loves me, but the next minute she says I'm a horrible bitch and to go to hell. This isn't even about wedding stuff entirely, although I am worried about how she will affect it, but I just wanted to open up about my troubles, because it's hurting the people that are most important to me, my fiance and my sister. If anyone has any experience with alcoholic family members and can relate and we can help each other get through things, send a message if you don't want to talk publicly. I hate my mom's addiction. It makes me a wreck.
Thanks for listening.