Extremely long and worth the read if youre bored. I needed to add the details.

RosenB · July 2010

I was recently in a wedding out of state.

While I am 'close' friends with this person, I do not know where we stand post wedding as I haven't spoken to her once.

Precursor: I didn't get any say in the bridesmaid dress, nor was a budget discussed with me and at the time I was a fulltime student and had been laid off. Also the bride wanted 4" heels dyed to match the floor length dress we were required to wear.

Recap of wedding weekend: I broke my foot a couple months ago and during her wedding I was in a half leg cast, using crutches and had a 'walking boot'. It was a total nightmare just traveling to be there. So I arrive the evening of the bachlorette party, which was anything but. I felt like a complete outsider and like I didn't even really know how this person was anymore. Well on friday the bride wanted us to go for mani/pedi..(again with a broken foot in a cast I wasn't up for getting one foot done and not the other and having to pay for it) I also had a hair appt scheduled that same day since I used to live in this state and I ALWAYS go see my hairdresser there when I'm visiting.. SOOOO I get a trim (my hair is above the shoulder, dyed black) and I have him add highlights. Its my hair right? Wrong, its the BRIDES hair apparently. I shouldn't have done this without consulting with the bride first.. Oops. Well I tell her I'm not up for Mani/Pedis since I have 1 foot and I already had my nails done 2 days before arriving there. OK no problem. Rehearsal/dinner was that evening, I thought that bride and her mother were going to drop dead when they saw my hair. The rehearsal was horrible. I was paired with the grooms twin brother who kept referring to me as cripple. I'm sorry but my name is KRISTIN the same as the BRIDE! Can't screw that up...oh but we can.

Day of the wedding: Breakfast with the bride. Everything is great at this point. Go to get hair and makeup done at 10am, wedding starts at 4pm. The strongest hairspray can't hold my hair in place for longer then 1 hour! Goodluck with 6 hours.
(a little rewind action, I asked the bride months before if she wanted out hair and makeup a certain way because I was going to have my hairdresser do my hair since its so short...and the makeup, well I hate makeup and I'm allergic to most of it. She tells me oh I'm having your hair and makeup done the day of. Great I think, one less thing for me to worry about and pay for right? WRONG!)

We are at the salon, I go first for hair and makeup. I tell the makeup artist please DO NOT put foundation on me, I will break out in hives. Well what does she do per the brides request, cakes on the makeup! I was beyond upset. Afterall the bridesmaids are props and not truly friends when it comes to weddings and everyone needs to look so uniform right? So after this horrific experience I tell the bride I'm going to go home get my dress ready and spend a little while with my son before we leave to the venue. "OK I'll text you when we are at your moms to pick you up".. I leave the salon and don't pay for anything. Well about 1.5 hours later, I get a text from the bride saying "you forgot to pay".. Pay for what!?!? Then I get a phonecall from the MOH bitching me out because I didn't pay. I'm sorry, but she never told me I had to pay for it and had I known I would have never gone to this disgusting place they call a salon. I find out how much it is going to cost me, and I almost lost my sh!t. I as furious. What can I do now? I have to pay. So yes I was a horrible bridesmaid and sent a text back to the bride and said, "had I known I was supposed to pay for it myself I would have had my hairdresser do it for me". She retorted with "well everyone's hair and makeup needed to be the same". It was bad enough that my brother who is gay, told me I looked like a DRAG QUEEN! I wanted to scrub the makeup off my face so badly, but I didn't. Well they arrive at my moms house to get me and the MOH again starts yelling at me asking me why I took off my makeup and yadda yadda ya.. I didn't, I'm sorry that you can't see it and that the shitty ugly lipstick faded so fast. NOT MY PROBLEM. At the wedding during the cocktail hour the hairdresser approaches me and says "are you going to pay me or what?!" I was so pissed off by this point that I gave her the exact amount NO TIP and told her that it wasn't worth it. Yes I took the LOW road on that one.

Fast forward to about 3 weeks ago: I post on FB about my broken foot and how its been bothering me and the brides mother comments "Stop complaining all the time about your foot. You only have yourself to blame because you won't stay off of your foot or take care of it". I was so upset that I emailed her and told her I thought she was very out of line for saying that and that I have been listening to everything the DR is telling me to do and not do. (I broke 5 bones and tore the joint that stablizes everything) not an easy thing to heal right away. Also, its been 3 months and its still not healing!) Well she then sends me an email back saying the most hurtful things... I'll try and sum it up nicely..
1. I looked disgusting in my dress and that I should have lost weight to look my best for HER daughters wedding.
2. My hair was disgusting and how dare I do something like that with it before her daughters wedding (it is black and red lowlights)
3. I caused them so much stress because they had to change the shoe order from 4" heels to flats because I wasn't going to wear them with a broken foot that was in a cast.
5. "It didn't matter what your hair or makeup looked like anyway because all anyone could see was your enormous, sagging, drooping boobs hanging around your waist at the wedding and rehearsal." (I had a breast reduction 3 years ago and they don't sag, I'm sorry you were mistaking your reflection for mine. And a c cup highly qualifies as enormous.)
6. "And as for the makeup and hair, no one could have made you look good."
7."You should have bowed out when you hurt your foot but oh no, you just had to make everyone miserable because you are."

She then blocked me on facebook so I couldn't email her back, which is fine because I wouldn't give her the time of day anyway.
Since this, I have not heard from my friend. I feel as though her mother has badmouth me as best as she could and now she wants nothing to do with me. I don't know how to approach the subject. I have tried to contact her, but I get nothing in return.

twinkie757 · July 2010

Wow! I would stay far away from anyone involved with that mess.

PeonyPrincesskdd · July 2010

I actually read the whole thing.. and I think you should just forget about that friend. She sounds like a bridezilla bitch of a friend wanting to control everything from the hair being exactly the same and the make up, and shoes etc.

She doesn't care about you and your broken foot and is a pretty shitty friend who should not be worth any of your time so don't even bother trying to contact her or talk to her ever again.

Everything she did was wrong.. saying you have to pay for the make-up now.. that is messed up if she said she was gonna take care of it.. She was not clear at all if she did want you to pay.

It was wrong of her to make all the choices of the dress, shoes, hair style and even the choice of salon without asking if the price was okay with you. If she intended on making you pay, then it was her job to tell you how much it would be ect and not just neglect to say anything letting you think that she was paying and all,

Bottom line: she's a horrible friend and was way out of line to treat her bridemaids like props/dolls and expect you to do everything she asked etc and her mom is whacko too.

Don't talk to her ever again. She's a selfish brat

MissMandey · July 2010

I could never say such hurtful things to someone. That's terrible. and from a grown woman and a mother? Klassy. I would kill my mom if she said that stuff to one of my BM...pretty much no matter what they did.

janedoe1113a · July 2010

Why would you even try to talk to that friend anymore? Doesn't sound like she's much of a friend.

[Deleted User] · July 2010

I can't believe a grown ass woman would send an email like that. she should be ashamed of herself. The bride is a POS and doesn't deserve her friends. I hope you didn't take anything said or done to heart, as you sound like a great friend and they are absolute a-holes. I hate them both for you.

RosenB · July 2010

thanks everyone for even taking the time to read that madness. i think i'm pretty much done at this point. i have put forth too much effort and time to get nothing in return. and no i did not take any of it to heart...wasn't worth my time haha. it was extremely entertaining to read. my mom sure got a good laugh from it all.

)

LoveBugBaby · July 2010

I read all of it, and all I can say is you are MUCH better off without her in your life! Cut ties and be glad you can move on without her drama. No "friend" should EVER treat someone that way! I wouldn't have tried to contact her, SHE needs to contact YOU and say she's sorry! If she doesn't have enough decency to apologize for acting that way, then she's the one missing out!

AutumnFair · July 2010

Wow, I read it all and can't believe the Bride, the MOH, and the MOTHER! WTF, is she 11? I don't know any grown adult who would just write something like that to their daughter's friend. You took a lot of high roads because I would've had the urge to post the whole experience on facebook including the email from the mother. So that the whole world could see the nasty Bridezilla, Momzilla, and MOHzilla that they ALL are.

Ditto to the other ladies, I would not contact this "friend" definitely her loss.

kpwedkk · July 2010

Ditto what everyone else said, I hope that other people that view this bridezilla's pictures realize how controlling she was/is!

Now I just feel sorry for what the groom got himself into - bridezilla and motherzilla and all!

DeeMarie213 · July 2010

First off, I honestly hope you get feeling better soon. A simple broken bone is painful... I can't imagine what you are going through!

Honestly, I agree with everyone else when they say not to worry about the bride anymore. If you were my friend, I would have been so honored that you still wanted to be involved, even after the whole thing with the foot. I'm sorry you had to go through this!

afloggie · July 2010

I am sorry to say it but those people are not worth your time, especially after all you have been through. I know there are two sides to every story but I dont see how they could justify any of this. And why would a grown woman resort to such a childish manner by sending you an email like that! I think you would be better off to move on and forget you ever knew them, IMO

RosenB · July 2010

I definitely did try my hardest to take the high road. Even after getting my hair done the day of, I went home and cried to my brother (who was my date to the wedding) about how I didn't want to even go at that point. He talked me down in saying that I would really upset the bride and possibly end a 13 year friendship. I tucked my tail between my legs, put my feelings aside because it was at the end of the day HER WEDDING and went.

As for my response to the mother of the bride:

I will reply back:

#1. I didn't take forever to order my dress. the dresses only take 5 weeks to come in. i ordered it in feb. after i had a job so i could afford it.
#2. the shoes had to be changed 1 time because i fell and broke my foot so there was NO way I was going to wear the heels that were orginally purchased.
#3. my dress fitting was not my fault.
#4. yes i bitched about paying for hair and makeup because i did not know i needed to pay for it. if kristin wanted it a certain way then it was her responsibility to pay for it. she could have simply told me what she wanted and i would have gone to someone and had it done. the makeup was terrible not to mention i'm ALLERGIC to foundation and that's what the woman put on me. made me feel incredibly uncomfortable.
#5. i will cut my hair and dye it whatever color i please. it's my hair not yours or kristin's. i'm not there to be a prop in her wedding. i was there because i love kristin and i wanted to be there on the most important day of her life.
#6. bitching about the plane, well i had every right too. i was traveling with my son and a broken foot. jesus christ. had i known i was going to be nothing more than a prop for her wedding i would have simply stayed home. now i am wishing that i did.
i spent HUNDREDS of dollars on airfare, dress, alterations, hair/makeup, car to be at her wedding and it was nothing short of a disaster for me.
i should have stayed home. i have never felt so uncomfortable being there as did my poor brother. who sat in the car the entire time because your guests were doing nothing but whispering about the 'gay' boy that was there.

PeonyPrincesskdd · July 2010

yeah you need to tell that mother. she had to no right so she needs to hear it and I wouldn't talk to that kristin, she is not a friend at all

thewhitz · July 2010

The entire time I'm reading your post, I'm thinking to myself, "this bride is crazy! How can she treat her friends this way??"

No human being should be treated this way, let alone a friend. I'm so sorry you were treated this way. I'm sure you are incredibly hurt, but just try to work past it and leave these crazy people in the past. I hope your foot heals. The bride and her entire family were ALL WRONG.

For me, I asked my friends to be in my wedding. They tried on dresses and voted on one. They are wearing the same dress and silver shoes. I trust them on their type of shoe, hair, makeup and jewelry. They can do whatever they want. One was moaning about the silver shoes and I felt mean for telling her that yes they had to be silver because by this point some of the girls have already invested in their shoes. I really didn’t think I was being difficult but I still felt bad. I don’t after reading your story though!!

NBVitamine · July 2010

I read your entire post. I hope your foot feels better, you NEED to take care of it and only use it when absolutely necessary. I know that can't be easy with your son.

As far as that whacked family is concerned, you don't need poisonous people like that in your life, they are a waste of time and energy. You deserve better.

Theresa626 · July 2010

Her mother is a horrible monstrosity of a person and there is no excuse for what she said to you. I'm sorry you had to go through that. However, I don't think everything you did was right either. First, it's not the bride's fault that you dont' know anyone at the bachelorette party. You can still meet them and have a good time and not be crabby about it. Also, You had the right to get your hair cut, etc but if you dyed it an unnatural color that you don't normally wear the day before the wedding, that is a little bit inconsiderate. Also, I don't think the bride meant to piss you off as much as you got pissed off. It sounds like there was just a miscommunication in who was paying for hair and make up. Not all brides do this nor are they required to. You should've asked who was paying and how much it was and when she told you you were paying, you couldv'e gone somewhere else I'm sure. But, it was a miscommunication. I don't really think it was either your fault or the bride's fault. I don't think she was trying to spite you in this instance. Not going back to pay the hair stylist right away and then not tipping the hair stylist was really awful on your part. The hair stylist had nothing to do with your bad attitude. She didn't play a part in the miscommunication and she was just doing her job. She really did not deserve what you did.

I think maybe the bride got too obsessed with making sure all make up and hair was the same, etc. But, I also think you are a passive aggressive complainer who doesn't speak up when necessary but then has a bad attitude all day because you're pissed off.

I think the brides mother is just satanical.

As far as the friendship, do you really want to continue it? Because you sound pretty pissed off. Also, the bride probably got the feeling from you on the wedding day that you were pissed and didn't want to be there so she probably felt that you didn't want to be friends anymore.

ntvenson · July 2010

I hope your foot is on the road to recovery. First off I think it woul have been a good idea to pull out once you broke your foot. I know you wanted to be there for your friend but your injury does change things shoe etc... Now with that being said there was still NO excuse for the way you were treated. Becaused you no longer live near her she has new friends and she sounds like the type of juvenile person who can't stay connected with friends who don't live 5 minutes away from her. So she probably did treat you like an outsider and I'm sure she discussed paying the salon with everyone except you. Once she had to change her shoe you were already on her ISH list. I don't know what it is but Brides can get a little CRAZY and if you have an entourage PUMPING up your CRAZINESS-WATCH OUT!! I know it's difficult but you have to let this ONE go!!!

mwhitson14 · July 2010

Sounds like you're better off without that "friend."

petey406 · July 2010

I disagree with what everyone else is saying. YES, your friend was incredibly presumptuous and inconsiderate. Yes, I agree that you should have been able to have your own stylist do your hair and make up. And YES, her mother sounds like a nasty witch that you are better off not associating with.

However, you have been friends with the bride a long time. I think you should let some time pass, and if she doesn't call you, call her. Explain your position and why you acted as you did and give her the opportunity to explain herself. Maybe identical bridesmaids was what she had always dreamed of for her wedding, maybe she thought she was making it easier for everyone by having the arrangements for hair and make up done for you. Who knows what she was thinking.

Decide if she is a friend worth keeping after you talk calmly am rationally about the whole thing.

RosenB · July 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-recap-withdrawal_extremely-long-worth-read-bored-needed-add-details?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:12Discussion:1dfd2e7b-93d2-4f27-b404-a6b540c2a773Post:4191a3c3-dd68-4b1a-9ba4-0c6f7290f759">Re: Extremely long and worth the read if youre bored. I needed to add the details.</a>:
[QUOTE]First, it's not the bride's fault that you dont' know anyone at the bachelorette party. You can still meet them and have a good time and not be crabby about it. Also, You had the right to get your hair cut, etc but if you dyed it an unnatural color that you don't normally wear the day before the wedding, that is a little bit inconsiderate. Also, I don't think the bride meant to piss you off as much as you got pissed off. It sounds like there was just a miscommunication in who was paying for hair and make up. Not all brides do this nor are they required to. You should've asked who was paying and how much it was and when she told you you were paying, you couldv'e gone somewhere else I'm sure. But, it was a miscommunication. I don't really think it was either your fault or the bride's fault. I don't think she was trying to spite you in this instance. Not going back to pay the hair stylist right away and then not tipping the hair stylist was really awful on your part. The hair stylist had nothing to do with your bad attitude. She didn't play a part in the miscommunication and she was just doing her job. She really did not deserve what you did. I think maybe the bride got too obsessed with making sure all make up and hair was the same, etc. But, I also think you are a passive aggressive complainer who doesn't speak up when necessary but then has a bad attitude all day because you're pissed off. I think the brides mother is just satanical. As far as the friendship, do you really want to continue it? Because you sound pretty pissed off. Also, the bride probably got the feeling from you on the wedding day that you were pissed and didn't want to be there so she probably felt that you didn't want to be friends anymore.
Posted by Theresa626[/QUOTE]

I had no problem meeting everyone at the bach. party. I'm a very outgoing person and I will walk up to a complete stranger, introduce myself and start up a conversation. I can definitely hold my own in with a new crowd. So NO I wasn't complaining about not knowing anyone.

As for my hair, it was already an unnatural color when she saw me.

She demanded we get hair and makeup done together at the same place, same time. This is why I asked her MONTHS in advance whether she wanted anything in specific for it. Her reply was: "don't worry about it, I have it taken care of and I'm having hair and makeup done for you all". Ok well to me that stated that she was paying for it.

As for the stylist: She was completely rude to me. She was tugging on my hair with the curling iron, burnt my scalp because she was too busy talking on her cellphone and texting the ENTIRE TIME! That is why she didn't get a tip. She came to me with a bad attitude at the wedding reception saying "are you going to pay me now or what". And when the MOH called me to tell me that I didn't pay, I didn't have time to go back to the salon since I was on the other side of town and the salon closed after they had already left, since the women who worked there were invited to the wedding. Plus the MOH told me that the bride was going to pay for it since she was there and that I could just repay her at the wedding. Well apparently they settled on something different.

I was not kept in the loop regarding anything when though I asked so many times for updates, time schedules, when was the bridal shower. I had NO CLUE because they MOH never called me back, emailed me or anything about it.

I actually had a great attitude about everything up until the makeup was CAKED on my face after I asked them to not put foundation on me. I said GOODBYE to all the ladies in the salon and they all said bye to me. They should have stopped me on the way out the door to say "hey you didn't pay yet". Their fault, not mine.

Theresa626 · July 2010

If she said I'm having hair and make up done for you all that totally means she's paying for it. Yeah, she lied and that doesn't sound like a miscommunication. Also, texting while doing your hair is rude and inappropriate so I take back what I said. Those people suck.

You know... sometimes a wedding is the thing that ends the longest friendships. it's weird how that works but I've found that in many friendships, once they get married, we are no longer friends. People change and sometimes long lasting friendships aren't really the same any more but both parties are too afraid to make the change to just let it die out. I'm sorry this happened to you with this friend but it just seems like a friendship that is meant to die out.

RosenB · July 2010

It's just sad for me since I pretty much have kept the same friends I've had since middle school and high school. I have 'new friends' too but my long time friends meant a lot to me. It was a shock when I finally came to the realization that things would never be the same between her and I.

PeonyPrincesskdd · July 2010

if she really wants to be friends, then wait and see if she contacts you or apologizes to you.. you can't be the one to initiate everything, esp when she was the one at fault.. the ball is in her court to make a move if she wants to be friends.... the way she acted towards me shows me that she didn't care about you as a friend and continueing to be friends .. but wait and see.. I wouldn't contact or talk to her tho

lisaD26 · July 2010

When you get your cast removed I say you send it to her Mother in a nice box with a nice note. She deserves a kick in the ass. That smell would do the trick

LMoon70 · July 2010

I agree with LIsa D! Send the witch your cast!

Seriously though, someone said earlier that weddings can make or break friendships - even if you've been friends forever. Participation and coordination in a wedding can really really test a friendship.

I'm sorry to hear you had such a bad experience and I completely agree that your makeup and hair should've been paid for by the bride since she said what she did.

Just chalk it up to a toxic friendship and let it go. It's not worth it to have that much misery in your life!

p.s. I hope your foot gets better soon!

Mioh1 · July 2010

wow that's childish behavior from a grown woman! Obviously your friends mom is a nut, why is she still bitching about the hair and makeup?!?!!? you paid for it right???? And you had a right to be angry because you're allergic and they put the stuff on you anyways.

well just like everyone said forget that friend, if she was really you're friend she would of understood you were allergic to the stuff. As for the crazy mom just laugh it off since she's just trying to make you angry and she's not worth getting angry over.

Extremely long and worth the read if youre bored. I needed to add the details.

Re: Extremely long and worth the read if youre bored. I needed to add the details.

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