Advice needed

Princessbarefoot · June 2011

Hey ladies,
I'm looking for some advice/insight....
We are having approx. 120 people and paying roughly 20-24000 for the wedding. Is that average? Do most people make the money back? My fiancé and I can't agree on average costs, and roughly how much you can expect to receive back....
Thanks:)

CaylaSummer · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:07eac2e8-5c14-4a77-ad0c-2d463adf452ePost:4f94f5f2-7427-4ec2-8207-312875e44604">Advice needed</a>:
[QUOTE]Hey ladies, I'm looking for some advice/insight.... We are having approx. 120 people and paying roughly 20-24000 for the wedding. Is that average? Do most people make the money back? My fiancé and I can't agree on average costs, and roughly how much you can expect to receive back.... Thanks:)
Posted by Princessbarefoot[/QUOTE]

<div>Well I'm sure you can do a wedding for that price but it all depends what your vision looks like. We are having about around 150 ppl and our budget was 30,000 but we have gone over that because there was just 'little' things that I did not even account for. Just try to stay within your budget if you can help it.</div>

number55 · June 2011

Weddings aren't about making your money back. Our wedding cost more than that, for 96 guests and the monetary gifts we received did not cover the cost of the wedding by any means...nor did we expect them too...a wedding isn't about breaking even, even if it does happen, that isn't the point. You can't plan with that in mind. Plan what you can afford and expect to get no monetary gifts. And whatever you do, don't ask for money. It is tacky.

StephieBow · June 2011

If you're paying for the wedding on your own, you likely won't make back what you spend but if you have people helping pay for the wedding there is a good chance you will (I know LOTS of people where it worked out that way...)

I am having a wedding of about 150 people in Toronto and will be spending more than that.

I think you need to set a budget and work within it... that's what I did!

samanthadonoghue · June 2011

Spend what you can afford, dont count on making your money back, you probably won't. Most people don't give enough to cover 1 plate.

Littlin · June 2011

Ditto to PP - definitely don't make a budget hoping to get money back. We had 150 and spent much more than you are, and no, we didn't "make it back". Our guests were quite generous and we were lucky, but we didn't factor in anyone's gifts when trying to decide budget and how we would pay for it all. It was a nice bonus after we returned from our honeymoon that we put towards our new home.

Car&Ry · June 2011

If you are worried about costs you can :(1) ask if you can pay in cash. My parents do that habitually and they didn't have to pay the entire amount upfront, they still had installments. You can pay cash for almost everything -but make sure you get a contract still! (2) Have a stag and doe aka buck and doe party -have it early enought that you have some monay to play with and make sure you pay your wedding party back promptly for any deposits they help you with and also make sure you thank them!!

If you are looking to compare, we are being charged $85 pp at the venue (open bar, cake incl, dj incl, hors d'oeurves nad meals, decor and centrepieces). Everything else is extra. We have 130 people total (incl WP)

blush64 · June 2011

Don't plan a wedding with the thought of gettng any money back at all. Assume you will recieve nothing and invite those who you would want to see anyway. Plan the budget as though you will receive no money from anyone. Then you do what you can afford and appreciate any gifts you do get.

The amount you have suggested is possible, just shop around. You might have to compromise on certain things. Leave the city. Having it just outside Toronto will help a lot. There are many venues in Vaughan and the other areas just outside Toronto. If the time of year doesn't matter too much have a winter wedding, you get a lot for a lot less.

sharpe88 · June 2011

It depends on the culture perhaps.. in some cultures the monetary gifts are so expected that you can pretty much count on getting a good part of your dinner costs recouped.

blush64 · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:613Discussion:07eac2e8-5c14-4a77-ad0c-2d463adf452ePost:a2340d9b-4b5e-46cf-85e5-ef5d8e22af83">Re: Advice needed</a>:
[QUOTE]It depends on the culture perhaps.. in some cultures the monetary gifts are so expected that you can pretty much count on getting a good part of your dinner costs recouped.
Posted by sharpe88[/QUOTE]

Yes, but counting on them is still not a good idea because what happens if this time you don't get enough or what you counted on. In my family we tend to give large cash gifts for weddings but I am NOT expecting or counting on them. I know it's usually done but you never know the situation for people on the day of your wedding. Besides, it's just rude to expect cash or gifts.

Plan what you can afford.

ring_pop · June 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_canada-toronto_advice-needed?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:613Discussion:07eac2e8-5c14-4a77-ad0c-2d463adf452ePost:a2340d9b-4b5e-46cf-85e5-ef5d8e22af83">Re: Advice needed</a>:
[QUOTE]It depends on the culture perhaps.. in some cultures the monetary gifts are so expected that you can pretty much count on getting a good part of your dinner costs recouped.
Posted by sharpe88[/QUOTE]
DH and I both come from such cultures but it's still silly and stressful to RELY on cash coming in. What if you don't get as much as expected, or what if you lose the wedding gifts? You just don't want to put yourself in a situation where you're screwed if it doesn't come in.

Anyway, to recoup $24,000 from 120 guests, you'd be expecting an average of $200 per guest. You know your own crowd best but that sounds very high to me.

That budget is definitely doable though. Figure out what your absolute must-haves are, what they'll cost, and then work the rest of your budget around it.

naomikb · June 2011

Ditto PPs... they have already covered that you should not expect to "make your money back" or count on monetary wedding gifts to fund your wedding - plan the wedding you can afford since you will have to pay for everything up front and won't get gifts until later.

Regarding your original question, you certainly can do a wedding for 120 people for $24K but it will depend on your vision and what you want for the day. We have about 120 guests and are spending more than $24K. There are lots of places to cut and save, but it all comes down to what you and your FI want and what you are willing to pay for.

To help you out, as a general guideline in the Toronto area, I would say that a full sit-down meal at a regular banquet hall with open bar all night (cocktail hour, dinner, dancing) will be in the vicinity of $80-$160 per person. That might help with your budgeting, but you need to shop around for venues to decide what you like and what fits your price range. If you want to save some money, you can do your wedding off-season which varies by venue but is typically November-March and most places will give you a 10-20% discount.

amme5832 · June 2011

Our budget of everything we're paying for (my parents are paying for photos) is 10K, and that includes:
- flowers (bouquets, boutonnieres, corsages)
- 4 course dinner
- invitations from Vista Print (including thank yous and stamps; RSVP will be online)
- cake
- iPod "dj"
- rings
-officiant
- alcohol and permit
- venue
- wedding certificate
- limited decor (centrepieces, candles, etc)

The honeymoon and our attire is not part of that budget either - we are saving money separately for those.

I would love to make the money back, but I'm not counting on it. To be honest, I would like to have a nicer wedding, but the cash just isn't there for us to do it, and I don't want to skimp on our honeymoon in order to have a prettier wedding, so we're going basic and putting the money out for food and drinks, and spent a little more on a nicer venue that doesn't need a lot of decor.

We also gave ourselves LOTS of time to figure out pricing and get quotes. That is making a difference on being able to pay less because we get multiple quotes and we aren't rushed for things.

I'm sure you can do it for 20 - 24K, but you have to determine what matters to you and what your priorities are. If everything is a priority, then you probably can't stay on budget. If there are things that you don't care that much about, then don't spend a lot of money on them. You can also try getting deals through various online group deals (i.e. things for favours, etc - I would be inclined to only do this for things you don't care as much about though!).

mattycam · June 2011

Our wedding was a few thousand less than your budget and we had 216 people. We certainly didn't plan a wedding with the expectation of making our money back because we know our crowd; some people can afford to give more than others, some can't afford to give at all. It really boils down to what you want and what you can afford.

But I have read about women on the budget wedding board who planned/are planning their weddings for under 10k so 20-24k is very doable!

onetier · June 2011

It's possible but not probable. Too many factors for us to give you an accurate answer. It all depends on what you guys are looking for. Previous posters have given great advice. I spent $25k on my wedding 4 years ago for 133 people. Was it everything I hoped for, no, but that's what I could afford at the time. Did I make it back? No. I was about 10k short.

My sister is getting married in July and is spending $120 pp on food so just that would eat up more than half your cost.

I found the knot budgeting tool very useful when I was planning my wedding. It allowed me to see what I should be spending based on my budget in specific areas and then I could prioritize what was more important and move money around to things we found more important.

APW2010 · June 2011

Your budget is definitely doable for a nice wedding, but don't count on getting your money back.

We had a similar budget for 50 people, and made back about 20% of what we spent - and that was actually a little over what we expected to receive. (You will find that there are some cost savings in a slightly larger group, actually.)

You know your friends and family best - think about how much you give at a wedding, and how much you really think they will give, and just add it up. But it is extraordinarily rare for couples to 'make it back' these days, in part because the per head cost has gone up so much more than the average cash gift in the last decade.

Jewel224 · August 2011

That just depends on the culture - I know that for Italians and Portuguese, the money you receive usually pays for the entire wedding with quite a bit left over. It is expected in their respective traditions, that you pay for your plate; if you're family you pay more than expected.

But as other PP have said, I wouldn't factor it into your budget to pay for things unless this is the norm for your family/culture.

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