Bridesmaid update!!

colleenm18 · June 2012

Ok so saturday I finally hear from the missing BM. She sends me a text in the morning saying she is really sorry she has gone MIA but has been going through a lot and will call me the next day. So i dont hear from her but then today as I walk out of work my phone rings and its her.

So she is prego and apparently like 8 months prego. She didnt really tell anyone at all until about 5 weeks ago when she finally told her mom (she lives at home) her dad does not know yet and she just told baby's dad like 4 weeks ago (they broke up in January and have not really talked since). Today she went to the doctors for the first time where they told her they are guessing about 8 months and tomorrow she is getting an ultra sound. SHOCKING! to say the least! But I told her I love her and I am always here to support her no matter what so I will just be happy to learn if I am going to have a new niece or nephew. We talked about the wedding and I told her to wait and see what the doctor says about her actual due date and we will go from there. I will be super sad if she cant be in he wedding, i mean i did ask her for reason, and I know she is scared out of her mind about this whole baby thing so i just hope i can be there for her even from 300 miles away.

Nati05 · June 2012

Wow! That's big news! Good for you being so supportive of her, especially since she's having a rough time..

That's crazy though.. how did she go 7 months without her mom noticing?

Carla1019 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_bridesmaid-update?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:0c0618e5-6eb2-4b7f-b18d-ff191831468dPost:c511d925-1645-421f-8ddb-645e785de7bc">Bridesmaid update!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Ok so saturday I finally hear from the missing BM. She sends me a text in the morning saying she is really sorry she has gone MIA but has been going through a lot and will call me the next day. So i dont hear from her but then today as I walk out of work my phone rings and its her. So she is prego and apparently like 8 months prego. She didnt really tell anyone at all until about 5 weeks ago when she finally told her mom (she lives at home) her dad does not know yet and she just told baby's dad like 4 weeks ago (they broke up in January and have not really talked since). Today she went to the doctors for the first time where they told her they are guessing about 8 months and tomorrow she is getting an ultra sound. SHOCKING! to say the least! But I told her I love her and I am always here to support her no matter what so I will just be happy to learn if I am going to have a new niece or nephew. We talked about the wedding and I told her to wait and see what the doctor says about her actual due date and we will go from there.<strong> I will be super sad if she cant be in he wedding, i mean i did ask her for reason</strong>, and I know she is scared out of her mind about this whole baby thing so i just hope i can be there for her even from 300 miles away.
Posted by colleenm18[/QUOTE]

I understand how you feel but please don't take it personal if she decides not to be in the wedding but instead come as a guest. I'm sure she is not very happy with her situation and being on display in front of all your guests can be unbearable. She isn't married and living at home. There is nothing wrong with this but guessing that she took a long time to tell anyone might mean she is a little ashamed. Continue to be a good friend to her.

colleenm18 · June 2012

She said she just wore baggy clothes and she is a waitress/bartender so until recently had the exact opposite schedule of her parents.. she would be asleep when they left for work and when she got home work they would be asleep so it wasn't that hard i guess. I obviously have not seen her but she said that she has only really gained weight in her belly.

The one thing I did yell at her about was not going to the doctor until now!

colleenm18 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_bridesmaid-update?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:0c0618e5-6eb2-4b7f-b18d-ff191831468dPost:6bb9b6b6-7288-4417-b786-f1119a8cd949">Re: Bridesmaid update!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Bridesmaid update!! : I understand how you feel but please don't take it personal if she decides not to be in the wedding but instead come as a guest. I'm sure she is not very happy with her situation and being on display in front of all your guests can be unbearable. She isn't married and living at home. There is nothing wrong with this but guessing that she took a long time to tell anyone might mean she is a little ashamed. Continue to be a good friend to her.
Posted by Carla1019[/QUOTE]

Oh no I do not take it personal at all! I totally understand and I would NEVER want her to feel uncomfortable on my behalf. I know she is def feeling some shame and I can not even imagine what she must be going through but as I said I just tried to be as supportive as I could for her over the phone today and I will continue to support her the best I can from the other side of the state.

TChiumi · June 2012

I'm glad she finally found the confidence to confide in you and I'm glad she is ok. You sound like and amazing friend and I'm sure she is appreciative of the support you showed when she talked to you today.

bridetobe71412 · June 2012

Wow, Colleen. See - there WAS something up and you weren't just imagining. I'm so glad you guys spoke so at least now you know what's going on!

lvissers · June 2012

OMG! Well at least she has somewhat of an excuse, but she still should have texted/emailed you back prior to now. What a horrible mother for not going to the doctor before now since she has known she is pregnant! I don't get some people!

mekiakoo · June 2012

Oh wow. Was there a reason why she didn't tell anyone? I hope your friend and the baby will be okay. A friend of mine just had a baby in April and she never told anyone she was even pregnant. We found out through instagram, a picture of her baby and her announcing the name and it had been 2 weeks since she gave birth. We all were shocked and I must say I kind of found it to be strange. FWIW she lives 1,500 miles away so nobody had seen her for a while.

michelle11988 · June 2012

Wow! I'm glad you finally talked to her about everything since clearly something was going on. I hope her and the baby are okay after everything.

l_everett · June 2012

Holy Moly! That sure is something... Ain't it... I can not believe she didn't go to the doctors at all... I hope the baby's ok.

ajmom2two · June 2012

OMGosh! Well...I guess she was MIA for a reason! I wonder how long she was pregnant before she knew? I hope everything is fine with both her and baby, 8 months is kind of a long time to have no prenatal care, but I am sure everything will be fine. I think you are a great friend! You sound like you said all the right stuff and I am sure that is exactly what she needed! I hope that everything works out for her to be in the wedding or at the very least at it as a guest.

littlemoments324 · June 2012

See girl!!! I told ya there was something else going on!!!! There almost always is when a friend flakes!!! I can understand that she'd be freaking out & not telling anyone! It's a big deal!!

I'm just glad she has an awesome friend like you!!

I'd be super sad if she couldn't make it to the wedding, but definitely understandable

[Deleted User] · June 2012

I think you are being a great friend to her and I hope she will continue to seek out support when she needs it.

BmoreBride311 · June 2012

Wow! I don't really have anything else to add that hasn't been said, but I'm glad you at least found out what's going on and are being so supportive of her. Hope it all goes well!

Melissa.hylton · June 2012

HOLY F!!! Im sorry but why didnt she get to a friggin doctor before!? I can understand hiding it from everyone etc blah blah blah but go to a doctor! Well she was def MIA for a good reason apparently!

LADY324 · June 2012

Wow how old is this friend? She sounds extremely immature for not going to the doctor. That is so terrible and I hope the baby comes out fine without having any prenatal care.

colleenm18 · June 2012

I also agree about the whole doctor thing but didnt really go into that with her. They said yesterday at her appointment that everything seems fine so that is good.. and remember ladies prenatal care has only become a HUGE deal in the last 20-30 years!

She has an ultra sound today to find out more of the specifics about her due date and all of that so we will know more about the wedding after today. I am very shocked still. Not so much that she is prego but that she is prego and going to have a baby very soon.

Thanks for all of the wonderful comments yesterday!

k8888 · June 2012

I'm so sorry that your friend felt like she had to hide it for so long. It sounds like she was REALLY scared. It's good she knows she can rely on you for support now. I really hope things work out for her!

kmdeck26 · June 2012

oh my goodness. that is quite a burden for your bridesmaid to bear... and not going to the doctor! I do hope that the baby is alright and healthy... I am glad you finally find out what was happening!

butterflyjumper1 · June 2012

oh my gosh...I figured something was going on with her life based on your previous posts, but this is huge!!! how in the world did she go this long without telling anyone?!?

Rebis58 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_bridesmaid-update?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:0c0618e5-6eb2-4b7f-b18d-ff191831468dPost:247caba5-aba4-4087-84a7-309fc8d13257">Re: Bridesmaid update!!</a>:
[QUOTE]OMG! Well at least she has somewhat of an excuse, but she still should have texted/emailed you back prior to now. <strong>What a horrible mother for not going to the doctor before now</strong> since she has known she is pregnant! I don't get some people!
Posted by lvissers[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeesh that's a little harsh. Yes she may have put herself and her baby at risk, and I agree that she made some bad decisions in not seeking medical care before now, but to label her a horrible mother? You know nothing about her. How about a little empathy for a woman who is obviously scared and has probably felt so alone for the past 8 months.</div>

vlwayne · June 2012

I agree with PP cut the girl a break, I was 18 when I had my daughter and didn't tell anyone until I was six months pregnant and could no longer hide it... I was scared and didn't make a doctors appt. because the doc covered bu my insurance worked in the same office as my mom (a Physical Therapy Assistant). My daughter is the most important thing in my life, I am not a bad mother, I was just a terrified teenager...That does NOT make me a bad mother. Also I had a friend who did not know she was prego until she went into labor. She had gained about 12 lbs and the baby was 8lb 6oz, and perfectly healthy. You cannot judge someones actions without knowing the whole story.

vlwayne · June 2012

Sorry about the rant, I hate it when people get up on a high horse about people they don't know.

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