Family involvement in ceremony (one side Catholic, the other not)

Re: Family involvement in ceremony (one side Catholic, the other not)

• monkeysip member

  

  January 2013

  Congratulations on your engagement!
  
  Here are the possible roles in the ceremony (depending upon whether it's a mass or not)
  
  Readers:  The readers do not have to be Catholic, though they should be Christian.  I have heard of Jewish people doing the Old Testament reading.  The idea is that the person reading should at least believe in the text they are reading.
  
  Organist/Cantor:  Typically these would be Catholics, though I think exceptions can be made.  Again, though, they should at least be christian, as they are playing sacred music.
  
  *If you're having a mass*
  
  EMHC (extraordinary ministers of holy communion):  Should be Catholic, obviously.
  
  Bearers of the gifts (the people that bring up the bread and wine to be consecrated):  Should be Catholic, since non-Catholics don't believe in consecration.
  
  Hope that helps.  I should add that there is no necessity to physically involve anyone in the mass.  Everyone can participate by singing, responding, and spiritually joining their heart and mind to the mass.  It's not necessary to come up with specific roles, but you're welcome to do so.
  
  Congrats also on RCIA!  Welcome home to the Church!

  
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• professorscience member

  

  January 2013

  We had our fathers do the readings -- FIL is Catholic, my dad isn't.  We had FIL do the OT reading (it came from the Apocrypha, which most Protestants don't accept as biblical) and my dad did the NT.

  
  

  We also had (among others) SIL who is not Catholic bring up the gifts and it was no problem.  My cousin also had nonCatholics present the gifts, although like PP said, you may want to check with your parish on that.

  
  

  Oh, and our cantor was not Catholic.  In fact, I knew several music majors when I was in college who had jobs singing at various churches whose faith they did not share, including Catholic churches.

  

  
  

  
  

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• itzMS member

  

  January 2013

  You'll definitely want to wait to choose roles and involvement until you talk to your priest.
  
  It can certainly be overwhelming at first to try to get everyone you love involved in some way. You may find over time that less involvement is actually better so that your family can simply enjoy attending your ceremony.
  
  Our priest is very traditional, and prefered that DH and I keep involvement and extras (i.e. no children in the wedding party, no unity candle, etc) to a minimum so as not to distract from the sanctity of our ceremony.
  

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• professorscience member

  

  January 2013

  Oh, one other thing:

  
  

  I attended a wedding where the mothers of the couple did the Prayer of the Faithful.  Again, one parent Catholic, the other not.  We chose not to do this because both our moms were afraid they'd get up there and start crying.

  

  
  

  
  

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• Resa77

  

  January 2013

  For my wedding, my (pretty darn liberal) priest wouldn't allow me to have non-Catholics read.  He said only Catholics can do readings at a Mass (non-Catholic Christians MIGHT get an exception, but that was rare).  So definitely check before you ask anyone!

   

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• bibliophile2010 member

  

  January 2013

  I would definitely talk to your priest or contact at the parish about what is ok for readers and what other ministers they might want/need/allow.
  
  Even though both H and I are Catholic, neither of us has tons of Catholic family (his immediate family, a few members of my extended family), so most of our "extras" (gift bearers, EMHCs, one of three readers) were friends. His Catholic brother was a reader. My non-Catholic Christian sister did the Prayers of the Faithful. I don't think anyone thought twice about it or any family felt left out.

  

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• S+G

  

  January 2013

  I was told that the readers had to be Catholic? Not just Christian...my parish is VERY conservative however, so maybe that's not true for most 

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• professorscience member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_family-involvement-in-ceremony-one-side-catholic-the-other-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:9b0d58ff-89ed-470f-ba16-ea00ebb2788ePost:6f62c585-8f29-4480-8ed6-552bacd75235">Re: Family involvement in ceremony (one side Catholic, the other not)</a>:
  [QUOTE]I was told that the readers had to be Catholic? Not just Christian...my parish is VERY conservative however, so maybe that's not true for most 
  Posted by S+G[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>I think some parishes have stricter rules, and possibly for good reason.  I know in a wedding where I was a bridesmaid I'm pretty sure one of the readers used her own Bible (partly because at the rehearsal they had put out the wrong reading and she wanted to make sure she did the right one but she didn't have an NAB, but still).</div>

  

  
  

  
  

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• bibliophile2010 member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_family-involvement-in-ceremony-one-side-catholic-the-other-not?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:9b0d58ff-89ed-470f-ba16-ea00ebb2788ePost:6f62c585-8f29-4480-8ed6-552bacd75235">Re: Family involvement in ceremony (one side Catholic, the other not)</a>:
  [QUOTE]I was told that the readers had to be Catholic? Not just Christian...my parish is VERY conservative however, so maybe that's not true for most 
  Posted by S+G[/QUOTE]
  
  That's exactly why many of us encourage people to talk to their parishes directly! So often the little rules vary from parish to parish.

  

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