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invitiations and alternates

craignatcraignat
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in California-San Diego
Hello there girls.  We are planning a destination wedding in san diego and my family is from north carolina.  i spoke with a destination wedding coordinator in san diego who said if we want 70-80 people at our wedding we should only invite 100 people.  So i down sized my list and put people on an 'alternate' list.  how should that work?  would we send invites earlier and wait for the 'no's' and then send out the alternates ~6 weeks prior?  we plan to send out save the dates and i worry that if people don't get a save the date they won't have time to plan...or should i just shave the list and leave it?

thanks!
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Re: invitiations and alternates

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    S6ixS6ix
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    Hi! I don't think an alternate list (B-list) is a good idea. Imagine how the b-listed people would feel if they somehow found out - and people generally do find these things out - that they weren't close enough to make the A-list cut. Ouch! Try to find a venue that can accommodate your entire guest list, and send all of the invitations at the same time. If your chosen venue can only hold X number of people, you will have to cut the guest list or find a different spot. What part of town are you looking at for your wedding? What made you decide on SD vs where you are now, or where you are from?
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    craignatcraignat
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    <p>In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_california-san-diego_invitiations-and-alternates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:64Discussion:2a495c68-9ccb-48bd-99d2-c7b20ea7e5d9Post:6fb972cd-dc7e-4ff8-9be0-117325c16487">Re: invitiations and alternates</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hi! I don't think an alternate list (B-list) is a good idea. Imagine how the b-listed people would feel if they somehow found out - and people generally do find these things out - that they weren't close enough to make the A-list cut. Ouch! Try to find a venue that can accommodate your entire guest list, and send all of the invitations at the same time. If your chosen venue can only hold X number of people, you will have to cut the guest list or find a different spot. What part of town are you looking at for your wedding? What made you decide on SD vs where you are now, or where you are from?
    Posted by S6ix[/QUOTE]

    thanks so much for the advice!  you are so right!  we were thinking of sending invites out ~5-6 months in advance and then having a 1 month rsvp period and still being able to send out invties in enough time for alternates. 

    we live in napa and want a beach type of feel and hopefully the weather to be nice.  although now a new problem with weather has arisen...a lot of the venues we are looking at are offering april cause that is a cheaper month for venue as well as hotel rates but the average weather is 65 degrees which is cold for southerners which is where the majority of the guests will be coming from and is cold for me!  my happy place is a warm sunny day with a beach near by!  will i even care on the wedding day?</p><p>thank you again for your advice</p>
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    KellyRenee1979KellyRenee1979
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_california-san-diego_invitiations-and-alternates?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:64Discussion:2a495c68-9ccb-48bd-99d2-c7b20ea7e5d9Post:a65644aa-acf3-4fea-88e7-e10f42a8e7f0">Re: invitiations and alternates</a>:
    [QUOTE]AYou will also be told to send STDs if you want people to plan ahead, but not to send your invites earlier than the usual 8 weeks. (I've seen up to 10 for destination weddings.) People won't really be able to RSVP that far in advance.
    Posted by Schatzi13[/QUOTE]

    That was my first thought upon reading your post.  You don't want people to lose your invitation and it's also hard to have all of the details in place 5-6 months in advance.  You might need to change location (maps!), day or time... We went back & forth between starting at 4pm or 4:30 = something that's printed on the invite.

    I recommend sending out STDs with a wedding website you can post details on.  :)
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