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Depositing checks / thanks yous / missing cards

orangejuliusorangejulius member
10 Comments
in Registry and Gift Forum
Hi,
We've been married 2 weeks now and still working on all the thank you notes for all the wonderful gifts we received. I've been holding onto the checks because I wanted to make sure everyone was thanked properly before cashing them, but my sister said people probably don't want us to hold their checks. I was wondering what is acceptable in this situation?

Another thing, we didn't recieve anything (not even a congratulatory card) from my husband's aunt and uncle which seems very odd. I want to make sure they are thanked if they did give us something and perhaps it is missing. How can we find out without flat out sounding like "where's our gift?"

Thanks for any help!
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Re: Depositing checks / thanks yous / missing cards

  • teachermegsteachermegs member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Record all your gifts and checks. Deposit the checks soon. Write the aunt and uncle a thank you card and thank them for coming. Don't ask them.
    People might send gifts after the wedding.
    My sister sent us a gift  a month after the wedding.
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  • LauraleeMarcLauraleeMarc member
    10 Comments
    I just recently ran into the problem of receiving checks. (I'm not married yet.) The advice given to me was to cash the checks/save the money (just in case the wedding didn't happen for any reason) and send a thank you note immediately. The more I thought about it, the more I would hate for someone to have a check I wrote for them not deposited.
    And agreed with PP about the aunt & uncle. Simply send a note to thank them for coming, no question about gift/no gift.
    And cogratulations!
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  • ajroarkajroark
    100 Comments
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_depositing-checks-thanks-yous-missing-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:97ddb2c1-1b4f-41b3-9596-3ef44419432cPost:603dae71-c3a9-42d5-89ca-b4cd1a1908b8">Re: Depositing checks / thanks yous / missing cards</a>:
    [QUOTE]Cash the checks immediately. Write thank-you notes. Ignore those who did not send gifts. You aren't obligated to send a TY note to those....you thanked them for coming at the wedding. TY notes are for actual gifts, not attendance.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    This. :)
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  • emilyec1emilyec1 member
    10 Comments
    This makes me feel so much better.  We received a check and I cashed it right away and wrote a thank-you note right away and didn't think much about it. Only afterward did I start to worry that it wasn't the appropriate action. I was more concerned about losing the check and causing stress for the gift-giver.

    I think it's fine as long as you write the thank-you note immediately, and I like the idea of timing it so that the note arrives right before the check is cashed.
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  • livinglovepoem livinglovepoem
    First Comment
    That is a really good idea to cash the check after you send the thank you card, I like that and will do that.
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  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_depositing-checks-thanks-yous-missing-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:34Discussion:97ddb2c1-1b4f-41b3-9596-3ef44419432cPost:603dae71-c3a9-42d5-89ca-b4cd1a1908b8">Re: Depositing checks / thanks yous / missing cards</a>:
    [QUOTE]Cash the checks immediately. Write thank-you notes. Ignore those who did not send gifts. You aren't obligated to send a TY note to those....you thanked them for coming at the wedding. TY notes are for actual gifts, not attendance.
    Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    <div>This.</div>
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  • amys325amys325 member
    500 Comments 5 Love Its
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_registering-gifts_depositing-checks-thanks-yous-missing-cards?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:34Discussion:97ddb2c1-1b4f-41b3-9596-3ef44419432cPost:603dae71-c3a9-42d5-89ca-b4cd1a1908b8">Re: Depositing checks / thanks yous / missing cards</a>:
    [QUOTE]Cash the checks immediately. Write thank-you notes. Ignore those who did not send gifts. <strong>You aren't obligated to send a TY note to those....you thanked them for coming at the wedding.</strong> <strong>TY notes are for actual gifts, not attendance.
    </strong>Posted by RetreadBride[/QUOTE]

    From a check writer's point of view, I definitely say CASH IT immediately.  There is nothing worse than waiting 3 months for that damn check to clear!  For the most part, I know that the TY is coming.

    Also, I actually meant to ask about the bolded part and you answered it for me!  Thanks!  That's what I always thought, but some people on here were saying to send TYs to people for coming.
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  • cindyn9178cindyn9178 member
    1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited May 2011
    2 weeks is a REALLY long time to wait for someone to cash my check. I would be super annoyed and I'd probably call the person to make sure they got my check.
    You should cash the check immediately after you receive it, and then send then thank you note.
    We plan to cash our checks two days after the wedding.

    And I agree, thank you notes are for gifts. For those that did not give a gift, you thanked them at the wedding, and that is sufficient.
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