Monday Question - Bridemaids

erin5286 · August 2012

Happy Monday all! I'm so excited to be a bridemaid in my best friend's wedding this Saturday, so I thought that would be a good topic for a discussion - an easy one to start the week with!

1. How many times have you been a bridemaid?
2. Favorite part about it?
3. Least favorite part about it?

I'll start:
1. How many times have you been a bridemaid?
Other than the upcoming wedding, I've only been in one other wedding - MOH for my sister last summer. I'm just getting to the age where a lot of my friends are starting to get married, so I expect the number will increase in the next few years.

2. Favorite part about it?
I loved being MOH for my sister, it was the first wedding in our family so it was really exciting. I planned a more non-traditional bachelorette party (shopping at the Mall of America and then a murder-mystery dinner theater) which was right up her alley.
It's been fun so far being a bridemaid for my friends upcoming wedding - we're planning weddings at the same time, so it's been great being able to bounce ideas off of eachother.

3. Least favorite part about it?
The MOH in my friend's wedding hasn't been particularly welcoming to me or the other bridemaid. She hasn't been rude or anything, just hasn't made any attempt to socialize with us at the bachelorette party or shower. I guess it's not that big of a deal, but it would have been nice if the three of us could've gotten to know eachother a little more.

lalaith50 · August 2012

why am I not surprised my first post didnt post? good thing I saved it...

Happy Monday!

1. How many times have you been a bridemaid?

I think 4. Nothing upcoming planned, but if my sister and best friend ever get married, I suspect I'll be in their weddings.

2. Favorite part about it?

I think I would say I like all of the extra partying and getting dressed up.

3. Least favorite part about it?

For one wedding, I had to wear the ugliest dress (sleeves, split skirt which the bride thought was still in style from the 80s or whenever...) and at the same time I knew that the bride and I were drifting apart and probably wouldn't talk much once she got married (a self-fulfilling prophecy?) but I could have had a better attitude about the whole thing.

[Deleted User] · August 2012

1. How many times have you been a bridemaid?Four. Two cousins, and two friends.
2. Favorite part about it? Coordinating all the parties and making sure the bride is happy. I love planning.
3. Least favorite part about it? dealing with crazy people. Saying the weddings bring out the crazy in people is an understatement. When I say yes to being in a bridal party I believe that means helping the bride and supporting her planning. When the other bridesmaids dont care, it bothers me because I feel like it is an insult to the bride. If the couple has a 2 year engagement, there is no reason you can't save a few bucks for a dress or to help with the shower. As a bridesmaid, you should not be the one stressing the bride out because the cheap dress she picked out is still too expensive. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but it's just how I feel.

Calypso1977 · August 2012

1. How many times have you been a bridemaid?
Four times. Once for my sister, once for my best friend, once for my cousin, and once for my sister-in-law.

2. Favorite part about it?
I enjoyed the limo ride for my cousin's - i was in my mid-twenties and had never been in a limo before. To date, that's the only limo i've ever been in.

3. Least favorite part about it?
The dresses and the expense. I dont like being told what to buy and wear (even tho that's standard). i always shell out so much money for something ill never ever wear again.

lv2011 · August 2012

1) I've been a bridesmaid 3 times over the years.
2) I love an occasion to get dressed up, so that's always fun.
3) The inevitable up-do pin headache. i'm highly susceptible to migraine, tension headhaches, and have a condition called ocipital neuralgia. Tons of bobby pins pulling hair really tight and poking into the scalp are a recipe for headache disaster.

bibliophile2010 · August 2012

1. I've been MOH twice, a BM twice, and a Jr. BM once (I was 9).

2. Getting to be part of everything; celebrating and loving on (with parties, support, etc.) the people I love so dearly.

3. The dresses. Inevitably, they are not my taste, fit poorly, end up costing a lot, and collect dust in my closet. I know it is part of the gig, so I happily go along and am as supportive as can be, but it is definitely the worst.

PS -- thanks Erin for starting this!

Resa77 · August 2012

1. How many times have you been a bridemaid?'
Seven.
2. Favorite part about it?
Getting to be a special part of such an important event. And I actually like the dresses, so I guess I'm weird in that.
3. Least favorite part about it?
Having to shell out so much money -- even though it's money well-spent, in my opinion, it's still rough!

Eliz77 · August 2012

1- Been MOH once, BM three times.

2-Being part of someone's special day as a bit more than a guest. Getting all dressed up and pampered!

3-The only thing I haven't liked is feeling like I could/should do more. Ever WP I've been in has been affordable and I didn't really think much about the costs, to be honest.

Riss91 · August 2012

1- Been MOH once, BM once.

2- Getting all dressed up and being more involved in the day.

3- Getting my hair done! I rarely like how it comes out - we did 4 trials for my wedding before we figured out how to do it. And that was with my stylist that knows my hair well.

kgrawedding · August 2012

1. How many times have you been a bridesmaid?
Just once, and it hasn't even really happened yet, I am a bridesmaid for a friend the week before my wedding
2. Favorite part about it?
When she asked, I was so honored!
3. Least favorite part about it?
Rush fee for ordering the dress. Even though she got engaged 4 months before me (and has changed her wedding date 3 times) she took so long selecting a bridesmaid dress, we were required to pay the rush fee.

sarahdactyI · August 2012

1. How many times have you been a bridemaid?

Just once! A few years ago.

2. Favorite part about it?

I didn't have a super great experience with it. In the future, if I were to do it again I'd look forward to being involved in the behind the scenes stuff. Actually FI was an usher in one wedding and there was no coordinator, I ended up doing a lot of the "random tasks" for the bride day-of since I was there super early anyway. I didn't know the girl at all but it was SO much fun for me to be running around, putting corsages on the grandmother, helping the priest get what they needed, etc. That's what I expected to do as a bridesmaid but the bride didn't let us (want us to?) do anything. It was odd.

3. Least favorite part about it?

The dress, and like another poster said, knowing that I was drifting apart from the bride. It makes me really afraid to pick my bridesmaids too early. I think if she had waited until 8 months out, there's no way she would have picked me.

I look forward to doing it again when my closer friends get engaged though. I'm still just going to be the second of my close college friends to get married!

erin5286 · August 2012

Sounds like I've lucked out so far with bridesmaid dresses! For my sister, we picked pale yellow sheath dresses from H&M - definitely something I've worn again, since it doesn't look "bridesmaid-y" at all. The dress I'm wearing this Saturday is a simpler black dress, not sure if I'll re-wear it anytime soon but at least it's cute!

Ciardasully · August 2012

1. How many times have you been a bridemaid?

Twice. Once back in college for a friend and once for my cousin (who will be a BM in my wedding)

2. Favorite part about it?

Getting all glammed up and the excitement and all the pre-wedding parties.

3. Least favorite part about it?

Both times, I was the heaviest girl and for my cousin's wedding, I had to wear a dress that was not supportive if you know what I mean. Also, both times I was a BM, I was single and had trouble being happy for the brides. (I know, horrible. I try to remember this when dealing with my bridesmaids In my defense, these weddings were 8 and 12 years ago. I have grown up a lot since then.)

Jasmine&Rajah · August 2012

Two words for you, ladies, if you have bridesmaid dresses collecting dust in your closet:

Consignment shop.

(Around March/April, because that's when gals start looking for prom dresses.)

Speaking of prom dresses, you can always donate your gowns to one of the charities that collects them for girls who can't afford them. Donatemydress.org has listings for national locations, or you can just Google "donate formal dress" and your zip code, and get plenty of results!

professorscience · August 2012

1. How many times have you been a bridesmaid?

Twice. Going to be one next September, too.
2. Favorite part about it?

As someone said earlier, being there for a dear friend. As disorganized as I am, I also really enjoy being involved in throwing parties and showers. And getting all pretty.

3. Least favorite part about it?

Being sort of "at the mercy" of the bride. I haven't dealt with any SERIOUS crazy, but there's just stuff I wish I could control that I definitely can't. Like, in one wedding (outdoor), we were rained on through the whole ceremony. And more recently the bride kept "forgetting" to tell us or other people things and then flipping out when stuff didn't go as planned -- when no one ever knew the plan in the first place! My MOH is the one for whom I'll be a BM next September and she keeps referencing "getting revenge" on all her BMs (all of whom she's been a BM for). It just makes me nervous.

professorscience · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_monday-question-bridemaids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:155c1b59-9ba1-4ff4-b5d5-64ee9f3cb72bPost:be10f543-1459-4fe6-bed5-1786970dccee">Re: Monday Question - Bridemaids</a>:
[QUOTE]Two words for you, ladies, if you have bridesmaid dresses collecting dust in your closet: Consignment shop. (Around March/April, because that's when gals start looking for prom dresses.) Speaking of prom dresses, you can always donate your gowns to one of the charities that collects them for girls who can't afford them. Donatemydress.org has listings for national locations, or you can just Google "donate formal dress" and your zip code, and get plenty of results!
Posted by Jasmine&Rajah[/QUOTE]

<div>Oh, definitely! Just watch your local news around April/May for "Project Prom" and you will see all kinds of charities that are helping girls in need! What a great suggestion, Jasmine!</div>

bibliophile2010 · August 2012

When H moved in, he convinced me to donate my old dresses. It felt sooooooo good to do something worthwhile with them.

Tami87 · August 2012

1. How many times have you been a bridesmaid?

What perfect timing for this poll for me. One of my friends just asked me to be her bridesmaid today! This will be my first time being a bridesmaid and I am really excited she asked me. The wedding is not until Nov 2013 so really nothing to do yet and I can't really comment on my favorite and least favorite parts yet.

Calypso1977 · August 2012

i donated all of mine, but the key is to donate within a year or so of the event. tehy dont want gowns from the 90's.

christinamarie325 · August 2012

1. How many times have you been a bridesmaid?

Once so far. I was 19, and it was my cousin's wedding. I'll be a bridesmaid again for another cousin 2 weeks after my own wedding! She asked me before I got engaged myself, and then I got engaged about a month later. She was planning her wedding for May next year, but then her fiance found work out of state and they moved the wedding up to December! Should be fun.

2. Favorite part about it?

I was lucky that my cousin picked a very pretty flattering gown, so I really enjoyed dressing up and being in pictures. Just witnessing all of the events of the day up close and personal was a lot of fun.

3. Least favorite part about it?

This makes me laugh now...like I said, I was 19. I hadn't been to a wedding in about 10 years, and I was very little then. Let's just say I was surprised when I had to slow dance with the groomsman I was paired with. I felt awkward and kept babbling on the whole time about how he was *really* tall, and I "wasn't expecting this"

This wedding, I don't think I'll have any least favorite parts. I'm excited for my cousin and look forward to being part of her day.

gingercountrygirl · August 2012

1. How many times have you been a bridemaid?

Only once for a high school friend. My best friend did ask me if I'd be her maid of honor when her and her fiance get married.

2. Favorite part about it?

Right after the wedding. The bride and groom got into a vehicle with the BM and MOH, me and another BM got into a vehicle with two GMs and the rest of the party in a third vehicle. Thus commenced an old-fashioned party chase. These were really, really common in the 70's. Cops are a little more strict now and I think people finally saw that going over 100mph on the hiway through town and in town could potential be dangerous.

3. Least favorite part about it?

Everything was poorly planned. Originally the BM's consisted of the bride's cousin, myself, and two other best friends from high school. The bride kicked out one BM (my best friend) because she was pregnant (my best friend actually didn't tell her she was pregnant because she was afraid of how bride would react) and she kicked out my other HS friend because groom started sending sexual texts to said friend. As much as I cherish the sacrament of marriage, I really wish I would have asked to not be in the wedding party. It bothers me to this day that she kicks out her friend that received the text messages and told the bride, yet forgives the groom who sent the texts and would have never told her.

I think this just set up everything else to be horrible. Plus like others have said, though it's probably a self-fulfilling prophecy, we do not talk anymore only when she asks me if I have picked BMs for my wedding yet.

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