Thank Yous - Money!

amaczu · August 2012

You guys have probably seen this question asked a million times. My registry was pretty much wiped out by my bridal shower, and as a result just about everyone gave cheques for a wedding gift. I've got my thank-yous and my pen, and I'm daunted by the task of tailoring each thank-you to the guest. Is it okay for me to use a handful of relatively generic 'helping us build our home together' references, and then add more personal bits about my experience with them at our wedding?

For example, one guest followed hubby and I around when we were walking from area to area (outdoor wedding) and took some awesome 'tender moment' pictures, another one jumped in to help distribute the cake, and another one manned the music station for the ceremony. They all gave cash gifts, and I plan to thank them for the gift AND for their presence/help/memories at the wedding. Is that okay?

Basically I'm just terrified of an overly negative perception if two people receive two of the same type of 'thanks for the money' quips, even if i tailor the rest of the thank-you to be more personal. I'm woefully inept with this kind of thing!

Thanks in advance!

wrigleyville · August 2012

Nobody is going to compare thank you notes, so try to relax.

For the friends who helped, you could write, "Thank you for the gift of money. We are putting it toward our home/new car/vacation. We are also so grateful to you for taking pictures/serving our cake/playing music during the reception. It was wonderful to see you, and we hope to see you again soon!"

For everyone else, just write, "Thank you for the gift of money. It will come in handy as we save for a car/vacation/put it toward a down payment on a house/etc. It was wonderful to see you, and we hope to see you again soon!"

If it's a friend you see all the time, you can probably drop the last sentence. My MOH would laugh if she saw that because I see her every couple days. Relatives always like to see stuff like that, though.

ghowlett · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-yous-money?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3a5aab63-f76c-4405-b0ef-f12b7825660aPost:96a112b8-4125-4193-a9b0-17c1ab075e96">Re: Thank Yous - Money!</a>:
[QUOTE]Nobody is going to compare thank you notes, so try to relax. :) For the friends who helped, you could write, "Thank you for the gift of money. We are putting it toward our home/new car/vacation. We are also so grateful to you for taking pictures/serving our cake/playing music during the reception. It was wonderful to see you, and we hope to see you again soon!" For everyone else, just write, "Thank you for the gift of money. It will come in handy as we save for a car/vacation/put it toward a down payment on a house/etc. It was wonderful to see you, and we hope to see you again soon!" If it's a friend you see all the time, you can probably drop the last sentence. My MOH would laugh if she saw that because I see her every couple days. Relatives always like to see stuff like that, though.
Posted by wrigleyville[/QUOTE]

This. Except I'd say "generous gift" instead of "gift of money."

ingramnusz · August 2012

I agree with Stage. My note about the actual gift tends to be pretty standard ("Thank you for the generous gift--we look forward to using it for our honeymoon/home/witchcraft lessons/whatever"), but I always try to add something personal to each person ("I enjoyed talking to you at the shower. Hope your upcoming trip is great!" or "Look forward to seeing you and your husband the wedding!") My coworkers gave me a very generous gift card at my work "shower" (really more of a cocktail hour), and I wrote some version of that same card about 15 times.

wrigleyville · August 2012

I always worry about "generous gift" because I don't want it to sound sarcastic if someone gives us $10. I think that is generous since a gift is a gift and I genuinely don't care about the amount, but I don't want them to think I'm being sarcastic.

Does that make sense? Maybe I'm overthinking it. The last time I wrote thank you cards was for my high school graduation, and my mother had me use "gift of money" (which I agree sounds weird).

Avion22 · August 2012

You're over thinking it. Thank them for their gift. It's okay to say "generous gift" for $10 or for $1000.

wrigleyville · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-yous-money?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3a5aab63-f76c-4405-b0ef-f12b7825660aPost:4807f490-e5dc-4f96-bdd7-cff122ccb61f">Re: Thank Yous - Money!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>You're over thinking it.</strong> Thank them for their gift. It's okay to say "generous gift" for $10 or for $1000.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

Duly noted. :) I'll be sure to use "generous gift" when it's time for me to write my own thank you notes.

DramaGeek · August 2012

wrigley, "thoughtful gift" works the same way. Maybe you could use that if you're concerned someone might take "generous gift" the wrong way for a smaller monetary gift?

Ali092011 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-yous-money?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:3a5aab63-f76c-4405-b0ef-f12b7825660aPost:4807f490-e5dc-4f96-bdd7-cff122ccb61f">Re: Thank Yous - Money!</a>:
[QUOTE]You're over thinking it. Thank them for their gift. It's okay to say "generous gift" for $10 or for $1000.
Posted by Avion22[/QUOTE]

I noted this too. :)

I'm with wrigly, except I always felt weird saying "generous gift" because it sounds vague and I wanted to make sure, especially in the case of a cash gift (as opposed to a check), that they knew I received it and I'm not mixing it up with the sheet set I got from another guest. But I suppose if I mention what we're using the money for, that solves that problem. :)

Loopyseven · August 2012

I'm pretty sure I used "monetary gift" in my thank you notes. Along with the "we'll use it for home improvements, do something fun on our honeymoon, etc." explanation. They were fairly generic, but sincere. It's the nature of the beast.

wrigleyville · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_thank-yous-money?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:3a5aab63-f76c-4405-b0ef-f12b7825660aPost:489b63b2-a2c3-497a-9c21-5cc39bba919e">Re: Thank Yous - Money!</a>:
[QUOTE]wrigley, "thoughtful gift" works the same way. Maybe you could use that if you're concerned someone might take "generous gift" the wrong way for a smaller monetary gift?
Posted by DramaGeek[/QUOTE]
That's a great idea. My family has a history of taking every little thing the wrong way and turning it into a five-year grudge. It's unreal.

JessAndTrav · August 2012

I said something like,

"Joe and Jane,

Thank you so much for attending our wedding and for your generous gift! We plan to use to it toward getting the final odds and ends we need to get our home set up. We appreciate you sharing in our joy and celebration for this exciting time in our lives.

Love,

Bob and Sue"

It was pretty generic, but like PPs have stated, it's not like people go around comparing TY notes. I've written almost 80 TY notes in the last two weeks from our baby shower, and I promise you that many of them were basically the same thing written over and over. Don't stress about it.

theelusive1 · August 2012

Thank you for all your help, you really saved the day stepping in to cut the cake for us and thank you for your generous gift we will be putting it toward our new dishes. Thank you so much penny and nickle.

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