How Do I....

tiffjory · March 2010

So my fiance's family is on one side of the political spectrum and my family is on the other. I have known my family to argue politics vehemently from time to time, so my question is:

How the heck do I politely demand that NO political talks occur on my wedding day?

I understand that in the course of the families meeting, this kind of thing can come up, but I don't think I could handle hearing the two sides at each others' throats over politics.

Or am I just being crazy?

nda_roxybabe · March 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_how-do-i-5?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:b639d647-0c87-4067-af73-e6546feaa3e2Post:2ab5f7ac-dd9e-4d67-b891-61cd892a92b3">How Do I....</a>:
[QUOTE]So my fiance's family is on one side of the political spectrum and my family is on the other. I have known my family to argue politics vehemently from time to time, so my question is: How the heck do I politely demand that NO political talks occur on my wedding day? I understand that in the course of the families meeting, this kind of thing can come up, but I don't think I could handle hearing the two sides at each others' throats over politics. Or am I just being crazy?
Posted by tiffjory[/QUOTE]
You're being crazy.
Seriously, you can not dictate what they talk about. I can't really imagine a politcal debate going on at your wedding though. Also, you could sit them seperately.

kimheartsscott · March 2010

Google Walter Sobchak. That is my father.

I will not say anything to him, because he is an adult, and can talk about whatever he wants outside of personal attacks or information that shouldn't be shared. I'm not concerned about either of these, and I don't care how conservative he is compared to my FI's liberal father. They are adults, let them deal with it.

AdeleDazeem · March 2010

Stop and think for moment. No matter what your politics, rational adults are able to know when and where certain things should be discussed and can conduct themselves accordingly. Your wedding day is no different than real life.

Lots of people have differing politics, from your parents and his to your friends and his friends. You have to trust these people and their ability to behave a little more.

FWIW, my family is rather political. They have been known to get in debates with other family members and friends at social functions. But they're all friends and respect each other at the end of the conversation. I've never seen a punch thrown or anyone licking their wounds afterwards.

AmoroAgain · March 2010

Yeah... that's not going to happen. My step father is a horrendously annoying Dem. I'm a dem, but he takes it to such extremes that it makes everyone run away from him. He just won't stop when he gets on a rant.

Anyway, point being, he behaved himself at the wedding, so it was fine.

danieliza1127 · March 2010

Most adults know not to discuss politics or religion in mixed company. I seriously doubt that politics will come up on your wedding day. Your parents and families will be far too busy fawning over you two and visiting with their own family and friends who they love and don't see often. They won't necessarily be mingling with your FI's family. I think you're over thinking this, and you definitely can't tell people what they can and can't talk about. That would just make it an ever bigger deal. Just let this one go and realize that you can't control everything.

mwhitson14 · March 2010

So what if they do start talking politics? Are you really going to notice and start freaking out over it? Let this one go. You can't control what adults talk about at your wedding. You'll be too busy to even notice.

lyndausvi · March 2010

If think you are overthinking this.

Look and people like James Carville and Mary Madeline , Maria Shiver and Anrold Schwarzengger. etc. If they can have a wedding without issues, so can the average person.

Most people know there are 2 subjects to avoid the first time you meet politics and religion.

ces25c · March 2010

There's no way. You could speak privately to your close relatives beforehand and ask them to stay on neutral subjects and ask your fiance to do the same. You'll probably be at a head table during dinner anyway, and if they start bringing politics up around you later you can take the chance to move on and greet more of your guests.

tiffjory · March 2010

Thanks everyone. I don't plan on freaking out on anyone, but I didn't want to be dealing with police and or cleaning up blood if some less than well behaved relatives had a little too much to drink...

Call me nuts, but it's not that much of a stretch.

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