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nmeirose · June 2011

sorry and thanks for your support!

Sue-n-Kevin · June 2011

I"m sorry for your troubles. It helps to focus on all the good things coming your way, and why your ex IS an ex, and that you now have someone to treat you well.

I have not been there done that, but I can tell it's really got you down. I'm NOT a pill pusher, but you sound like I did when I felt overwhelmed many years ago. I'd get a doctor's appointment and see if they suggest a mild anti-depressant to get you through this difficult time. Or, St John's Wort, which is over the counter and herbal (but check for contraindications with other meds). These meds are not just for depression, they can help with the overwhelming, totally stressed out feelings we sometimes get.

Good luck. I'm sure others who have walked in your shoes have better advice.

lindaloulubbock · June 2011

((((HUGS)))) to you. Stay strong and clean. Please, please, please make time to get some exercise. I'm a huge proponent of physical activity for mental well being. A challenging workout can make you feel like you can conquer the world, and it sounds like you need that right now. If you need a little help to get through this, go see your doctor.

I live in constant fear of my XH following through on his threats to take me to court for custody or to change child support or whatever. Thankfully he has not followed through on them, but if he did...I'd sound just like you.

mybooboos · June 2011

Don't let him win. Whether intentionally or not, he is doing his best to spoil your happiness, and your future plans. When you sink into despair, then your thoughts and actions are being consumed by him, when they should be consumed by your FI. I know it's easier said than done, but don't let him have that power over you and your life. Don't let him succeed...

We're all here when you need to vent, dump, or just think out loud.

(((HUGS)))

jaimerae727 · June 2011

Thanks for posting this. I thought I was totally alone in this. Thank you more than you know.

amy7177 · June 2011

oh i feel so bad for you. I was there in your place about five or six years ago. My ex and I fought like crazy in court over the kds. Our lawyers made the kdis go to family counseling and get evalutated. They made my oldest choose which parent he wanted. It was so ugly. My kids rallied together one day and pretty much told us that who ever gets the house gets them. Since my oldest had the choice due to his age, the other two said they would tell the judge when they each reached 12 the same thing. Then it was a massive fight over the kdis and the house. It was insane. One day, I just grabbed my ex by his arm and pulled him off to the side away from both of our lawyers and said "lets work this out and settle right now, or we are both going to lose them." the boys were having problems in school and were startting to threaten to run a way to their grammas all the time. So that day he finally agreed and we told our lawyers we were settling and worked out a half and half parenting agreement. We both have joint physical and legal custody and he got the house but i got the equity. We made a vistiaton schedule, so we each had them half the time, and we made a no child support order. THat way when the kdis are at my house i pay for stuff and when they are at his house he pays, etc. Now 6 years later and my kdis just know that they will always have two houses and my ex and I get along pretty well. It was pretty bad when our kids were more mature than us.

I say just work it out calmly. This way you can start to enjoy your life with your kdis and future husband. Good luck.

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