this is the code for the render ad
September 2012 Weddings

Bridal Shower Woes (Long)

I know I don't really post here often, but I am having a dilemma and figured you girls would probably give the best advice.

I am in my friend's wedding this summer, and we are currently planning her bridal shower. There are 6 of us BMS, but I have really only been corresponding with the MOH and another BM. Starting out, the MOH stated she would select and pay for the venue and the rest of us would split all the other costs. Last week, the MOH sent an email saying we needed to sort out dessert, favors, centerpieces, music, etc. I came up with some ideas that were inexpensive and still fit the theme. Now I'm getting emails like "good idea, maybe we could do both?" (requiring we purchase two separate types of dessert),  expensive centerpiece suggestions, as well as people loving the idea of giving away prizes as well as favors. 

My issue is mainly financial. Ultimately I cannot afford to contribute that much as I'm a full-time graduate student with zero income. All of their ideas seem to be adding up. I assumed I would be paying part of her shower when I agreed to be a BM and still will contribute what I can. But I was hoping the others would also be trying to keep the cost down. We never discussed an intial budget and no one has brought up price or who's paying for what. So, how do I tactfully bring this up? I don't want them to think I'm unwilling to contribute or ungrateful of the MOH's contributions, etc.  
Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: Bridal Shower Woes (Long)

  • Honestly, I would flat out tell them. Just say what you said here. You are very grateful and you want to contribute as much as possible, but you have a limited amount that you can put towards it. Suggest that you guys go over a budget first and then decide on decor, food, venue, etc.
  • I agree, I would be blunt about it and say "i can't do everything so maybe I will pick up X for the shower as my contribution." Or even just let her know how much you can possibly spend and leave it at that. Its easy for people to get carried away with this stuff, especially if they don't have to worry much about money.
  • I would advise you to address the issue sooner rather than later. Just be honest and explain your limitations. The shower can be just as fantastic without 2 desserts ;)
    invitationcombo Wedding Countdown Ticker Follow Me on Pinterest
  • I have to agree with all PP. They won't really know unless you tell them. Good luck!
    0403_0929W BabyFruit Ticker
  • I agree....just be honest and upfront about what you can contribute. You do not need to strap yourself over a bridal shower.

    My MOH is way more financially secure than the rest of my BMs. She started to go a little overboard with bachelorette ideas and I just nicely told her that I'm up for whatever she wants to do, but please take into consideration the limited budgets of those involved. I did not in any way want my BMs to feel uncomfortable about what they could/couldn't afford.
  • PPs have given you wonderful advice, OP. Good luck and have fun planning the rest of the shower :-)
    Anniversary
  • Thanks for all the input. I took your advice and sent off an email, so we shall see how it works out. Fingers crossed this brings them back down to reality because the last couple responses included suggestions of getting a custom cake (like the ones in Cake Boss). 
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • [QUOTE] the last couple responses included suggestions of getting a custom cake (like the ones in Cake Boss). 
    Posted by Bookworm28[/QUOTE]

    OMG that is nuts!  I'm sorry, but at the end of the day it's just a bridal shower.  Those cakes are $$$$
    Wedding Countdown Ticker LilySlim Weight loss tickers

    image 225 Invited so far!
    image 148 Are ready to party!
    image 77 Will be missing out!
    image 0 Are MIA!
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_september-2012-weddings_bridal-shower-woes-long?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:a464c18c-2e4d-469b-8eae-3865079cb9cfDiscussion:810f8425-cc83-4479-b60c-276af8f492b1Post:e3cf892a-29ae-48b8-b548-54c06f2f36fb">Re: Bridal Shower Woes (Long)</a>:
    [QUOTE]OMG that is nuts!  <strong>I'm sorry, but at the end of the day it's just a bridal shower. </strong> Those cakes are $$$$
    Posted by SCogs18[/QUOTE]

    <div>Yes, mte!! Seems like I'm the only one with that attitude though. </div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards