Pre-marital

ravenray · January 2012

Hi ladies. So FI and I start pre-marital counseling tonight. I am so nervous! I was really looking forward to it until we set a time. Then I got so nervous I felt sick. Reassure me? I know I am being silly but I can't help it

DramaGeek · January 2012

It will be totally fine! Ours was really more just a discussion, not at all what you might think of as typical counseling. I actually really enjoyed our counseling.

ravenray · January 2012

That makes me feel a little better. I freak out when it comes to counseling. Thank you

RebeccaJac · January 2012

Ours has been so great! All it is is the pastor having discussions with you guys to avoid issues in the future. We have talked about things like our future goals, our personality styles and how they work together or could cause friction, and things like that.

It most likely will be things that you guys have talked about before, but pastors just have some good questions to ask to get you talking. You'll be just fine!

ElisabethJoanne · January 2012

We've had 3 (of typically 6, but we'll probably do more, 'cause I like to talk) sessions so far.

First session: Short, background on us regarding parents, sibling, age, wedding date, wedding size. Super-basics to make sure there were no huge red flags and the church could be reserved

Second session: How'd you meet? What's your favorite part about each other? Least favorite? What are you most worried about?

Third session: In-depth discussion of the first two pages of my Church's required ceremony text. It's a total of 6 pages, which is why I say we'll probably have more than 6 sessions

The second session involved some hard questions, but nothing truly personal or confessional. The third session was more awkward, because my Priest has known me since I was 12, but my fiance only since we've been dating, and he's a recent convert, so he can't talk as much about the theology and liturgy. I trust the Priest to force him to talk more, if he feels I'm just spouting the right answers almost by rote.

ravenray · January 2012

Thanks Rebecca! That made me feel better too
EDIT: Thanks Elizabeth. It helped to break it down for me

Ash61612 · January 2012

I haven't had our counseling sessions yet but I am sure they will go fine. Good luck!

GJones27 · January 2012

Don't worry too much! I actually really enjoyed pre-marital counselling with our priest. I feel like Orthodox priests carry a lot of wisdom, as they have their own families. I definitely always think about the advice our priest gave us. I thought ours would be kind of stern and scary like how many Orthodox priests can superficially seem, but he was the total opposite. I can definitely understand how one might be nervous if you don't know the particular priest too well (if you're doing it at the SF church), but priests always up for meeting new parishioners and growing their congregation. Good luck!

RyansBelovedBride · January 2012

I'm glad it went well. I feel the same way, excited we'll do it, but nervous. I also have counseling issues. We haven't started anything yet. We've already discussed it and we're going to do two precounseling programs, one with my priest and another with his pastor. It'll be interesting. I'm not sure when we'll start.

GJones27 · January 2012

Glad to hear it went okay! I know I felt nervous about premarital counseling for that reason. :-)

mrandmrsbrist · January 2012

Glad it went well! I just saw this so I didn't get a chance to respond, but for the future one of the things that helped me was remembering that the pastor is human, just like we are. It's not meant to be a scary, terrifying or nerve wracking process. So just remember to breathe!

[Deleted User] · January 2012

we had a group counselling session with other engaged or newly married couples. it was a lot of fun. we met up with our pastor later and had some private counselling as well. I've known my pastor since I was a little girl, and it was really comforting (not weird at all, surprisingly) to go over the kinds of issues that are likely to arise and our expectations.

H and I also bought several books to read and discuss together, outside of counselling. it was a nice way for us to get all sorts of things out in the open.

I've found that our counselling was SO helpful. we've only been married 6 months, but sometimes when H does or says something, I'll remember things we talked about in counselling. it keeps me from losing my temper and saying things I don't really mean, and kind of gives me a closer look at the real issue.

I didn't think that I would like counselling, and I thought it would be creepy and uncomfortable, but it was one of the best things that we could have done. it helped me as an individual and us as a couple. don't be too nervous, no one is going to bite. try to have a little bit of fun while you're there. it's not all serious... we had lots of laughs, some tears, everything. it'll be great for you.

mattycam · January 2012

Glad it went well!

ravenray · January 2012

Thanks girls for all the followup feedback. I feel much better about the next time and I am kind of looking forward to it.
coco- thanks for sharing, that is really important to remember

toothpastechica · January 2012

just finished our online assessment (which our pre-marital counselling is based off of) i wasnt neverous at all untill doing the assessment and seeing some of the questions....now im going gosh i hope FI answered that the same way or interpreted the question the same way or the pastors going to think we never talk to eachother! :S:S:S now im super super nervouss.

Pre-marital

Re: Pre-marital

Choose Another Board

Search Boards