Grandpa/Father/Stepfather problem

Re: Grandpa/Father/Stepfather problem

• AddieCake member

  

  January 2013 edited January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_grandpafatherstepfather-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:83ab954a-84c4-4946-b9f7-39fac08d34f4Post:266e2944-5625-420e-9242-ee71780f7d9e">Grandpa/Father/Stepfather problem</a>:
  [QUOTE] I'm not sure I want anyone else to walk me since they all walked out and were around when it was convenient for them. 
  Posted by Jamiea291[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>This is the part that speaks to me. I think you should walk with your grandparents. It's probably b/c I am an English teacher, but the use of the word "walk" resonates so symbolically for me here, and I think you should be walked by the people who have walked BESIDE you your whole life, not the ones who walked OUT on you. </div>

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_grandpafatherstepfather-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:83ab954a-84c4-4946-b9f7-39fac08d34f4Post:469292de-53bb-47b4-ac19-5fe541ba0202">Re: Grandpa/Father/Stepfather problem</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Grandpa/Father/Stepfather problem : This is the part that speaks to me. I think you should walk with your grandparents. It's probably b/c I am an English teacher, but the use of the word "walk" resonates so symbolically for me here, and I think you should be walked by the people who have walked BESIDE you your whole life, not the ones who walked OUT on you. 
  Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]
  
  Beautifully put.  I would also walk with your grandparents and not people who don't make you feel like a loved and valued daughter.

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• daria24 member

  

  January 2013

  I vote for your grandparents too. If they've been with you every step of the way, they should walk with you down the aisle. 

  

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• Weezy56 member

  

  January 2013

  I say grandparents for sure

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• uhdare member

  

  January 2013

  I agree, Grandparents!  The others will get over it!  You can always do something special with them at the reception like a special dance or dedicate a song or something like that to make them feel appreciated. You could also mention them in your program and make sure they get a crosage or any number of other things. But I think that if your grandparents are the most deserving of the honor of walking you down the ailse, they should be the ones who get that honor and not have to share it.

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• MairePoppy mod

  

  January 2013 edited January 2013

  Your parents know who raised you and should be thankful to your grandparents for doing so. You could include your parents in  the processional. First the groom's grandparents, then your father and his wife, followed by your mother and her husband, followed by the rest of your line up and finally you and your grandparents.You will still be honoring your parents as family members, while your grandparents take their rightful place at your side. Get corsages and bouts for everyone and seat them in the front row.
  
  As for the dances, choose a song that is not so sentimental for the father/daughter dance if you choose to do one. Have the mother/son dance for your new husband. You could have a dance with your grandfather without having it announced. Let your photographer know ahead of time so he will know that you want a picture of you dancing with your grandfather.
  

                     

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• s-aries8990 member

  

  January 2013

  If you look at the aisle as life's journey, the parents will be walking your FI down because they have been there to guide and support him. In your situation, it was your grandparents. Neither of your biological parents seemed to have guided or supported you in anyway.
  
  You can honor your bio parents in other ways if you so choose with dances, corsages, bouts, etc, but I believe the honor of escorting you down the aisle should be bestowed on your true supports, your grandparents/

   

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• Jamiea291 member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_grandpafatherstepfather-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:83ab954a-84c4-4946-b9f7-39fac08d34f4Post:469292de-53bb-47b4-ac19-5fe541ba0202">Re: Grandpa/Father/Stepfather problem</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Grandpa/Father/Stepfather problem : This is the part that speaks to me. I think you should walk with your grandparents. It's probably b/c I am an English teacher, but the use of the word "walk" resonates so symbolically for me here, and I think you should be walked by the people who have walked BESIDE you your whole life, not the ones who walked OUT on you. 
  Posted by AddieL73[/QUOTE]
  
  <div>
  </div><div>
  </div><div>I agree, this was pretty beautifully put. Thanks to all that responded so far. I'm definitely having my grandPARENTS walking me out, but I think the idea of having the others walk up & take their seats in the front during the processional is a nice touch.</div>

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• theponz512 member

  

  January 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_grandpafatherstepfather-problem?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:36Discussion:83ab954a-84c4-4946-b9f7-39fac08d34f4Post:266e2944-5625-420e-9242-ee71780f7d9e">Grandpa/Father/Stepfather problem</a>:
  [QUOTE]Apologizing in advance, this is kind of long, but I'm a little flustered. I could really use some thoughts concerning my escort down the aisle and in other aspects of the wedding. My parents divorced when I was really young and have since remarried. My grandfather & grandmother on my dad's side raised me, with my parents being involved on and off. My FI is Jewish and I'm Catholic/Christian so we're incorporating different aspects including BOTH "parents" escorting each of us to the altar. I'm fairly certain I want my grandparents to walk me down. I have the best relationship with them & my FI gets along great with them. Problem comes with my biological parents & their spouses. My mother lives out of state & I haven't seen her in a long time, but we talk pretty often. My father & his wife moved back into state and somewhat near me a couple years ago, but I feel as if they only involve me in their life when something is going on with their three sons...usually a birthday/holiday kind of relationship. I don't really have a relationship with my stepfather, so I don't feel too horrible if I don't include him in the wedding, but I'm sure it'll step on toes. Also, my stepmother claims she's always viewed me like a daughter, but I've just never felt it. I'm not the only daughter in the family, but the only one my biological father has. I've seen some suggestions of one walks halfway, one the other half; but would I use my biologicals part way and have my grandparents at the altar?<strong> I'm not sure I want anyone else to walk me since they all walked out and were around when it was convenient for them.</strong> I love my biologicals, like my stepfamily, and I'm trying to find a way to not hurt feelings when it comes to "the walk", the program, dances, etc.
  Posted by Jamiea291[/QUOTE]
  
  
  I think this right here is saying exactly how you feel. If they only included you when it was convenient for them, you shouldn't feel obligated to include them in one of the most important days in your life. If your Grandpa has always been there for you, and you can't imagine this day without him walking you down the aisle then I think you have your answer.

  

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