Engagement party 101?

SarahBabs · July 2011

Hey everyone!

I just got engaged two weeks ago (

) and we are thinking about having an engagement party soon. The problem is, neither of us really knows what that entails. I initially thought it was just a get-together to celebrate our engagement, but a perusal of the boards hints it might be more formal. All of our family is out of state, so we are thinking of just inviting friends.

I'd love any advice on what an EP usually entails, and any important considerations we should keep in mind. Thanks so much for your help!

laurenkronenberg · July 2011

Congratulations!

It isn't really proper etiquette to throw yourself an engagement party. If you readon the etiquette boards, you'll see some great advice. If someone wants to throw you an engagement party, then by all means, invite thefriends n family who live close and have a great time. A friend of mine got invited to an engagement party where the bride and groom hosted it, and it was the talk of the town on how 'gift grabby' they seemed because of it. The reason is people may bring a small gift (possibly a bottle of wine) to an engagement party and if you host it yourself, it may seem like you are just asking people to bring you things.

Why not just have everyone over for a non wedding related bbq? Or meet for a couple drinks at a local bar? Nothing big or fancy or formal. Good luck in the wedding planning!

laurenkronenberg · July 2011

Oh also... Anyone you invite to any pre-wedding festivities, NEEDS to be invited to the actual wedding. That is one of the reasons many brides do not have an engagement party, is because a year before the wedding, a guest list has not been finalized at all. And you do not invite someone to an engagement party and then not invite them to the wedding.

banana468 · July 2011

Ditto PP. It's really never appropriate to throw a party in honor of yourself. It's not so much with the gifts (although that's bad too) but from the start it's not a good idea to throw any party in your own honor.

But you can throw a party for the sake of a party!

SarahBabs · July 2011

Thanks for the advice! I really had no idea that it was inappropriate - all of our friends have been asking when we are having our engagement party, so we kind of figured it was something we should do. I'm glad I checked!

We definitely had no idea about the gifts aspect either! Would a "No gifts! Just bring yourself

" disclaimer be a good idea for a future invite from my MOH?

And Lauren, I'd love to do a BBQ, but no backyard - one of the joys of living in NYC lol. We were thinking of a big picnic in Central Park though, and my MOH loves that idea.

SarahBabs · July 2011

Thanks! That certainly helps - I needed that basic info

BrambleBerry · July 2011

Engagement parties can range in style. It is traditional for the bride's parents to host.

I've heard of e-parties just being like 15 people at a restaurant for dinner to a party in a hall. I had mine in a rented hall, we had about 60 people, a DJ, cocktail hour, followed by dinner, etc.

People thought it was like a mini wedding, but that's traditional in Long Island (where I'm from)

Some people on the boards even just have it in a house- it could really range. There is no right or wrong answer.

kaingra121 · July 2011

Hi everyone,

My fiance and I just got engaged a couple weeks ago and my mom has offered to throw us an engagement party. We are in the process of deciding on the guest list. We are having it at my parents' house and do not want a huge group of people. However, my fiance's family is big and most of them live in the same area. It is hard for him to choose some people to come and not others. Most of my family is from out of town so I am just inviting family who live around the area to keep it small and simple. Any ideas on how to keep the guest list smaller without anyone feeling left out?

Thanks

femmepink · July 2011

Our engagement party was thrown for us by my FI's family.

We just had our closest friends and family over to their house, food and drinks. It was a chance for the families to meet the wedding party, etc.

verdesiempre14 · July 2011

Hi Sarah, I just sent you a PM (-:

Engagement party 101?

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