toddler flower girl

lizsites · June 2012

So our daughter will (naturally, I guess) be our flower girl. Here's the issue. She's 18 months old, and has the attention span of a rock. Sure, it'll be adorable and all, but I'm not real excited about having to wait for her to dawdle down the aisle before it's my turn. haha.

I've seen some adorable photos of little kids coming down the aisle with signs like "here comes the bride", and I think I'd like to do that, but I'm afraid she'll throw it or something... Any ideas on a non-distracting way to accomplish this for a toddler?!

Mrs.B6302007 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_toddler-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d1c80135-ca93-4934-8a2e-8353ec5fa089Post:b39d7377-0f5e-414e-95cd-d4bdcf9e41a8">toddler flower girl</a>:
[QUOTE]So our daughter will (naturally, I guess) be our flower girl. Here's the issue. She's 18 months old, and has the attention span of a rock. Sure, it'll be adorable and all, but I'm not real excited about having to wait for her to dawdle down the aisle before it's my turn. haha. I've seen some adorable photos of little kids coming down the aisle with signs like "here comes the bride", and I think I'd like to do that, but I'm afraid she'll throw it or something... Any ideas on a non-distracting way to accomplish this for a toddler?!
Posted by lizsites[/QUOTE]

It sounds like you're just going for the cute factor which is using your child as a prop. An 18 month old is completely unpredictable and probably shouldn't do this alone. I would suggest that she walk hand-in-hand with the MOH so the MOH can guide her. I would also have a "pick-up" person on standby in case she flips out and starts screaming or crying.

tszostek · June 2012

I have my 18 mnth old nephew as one of my ringbearers but he's wlking down with his 8 year old brother who is my other nephew, so Ithink he'll be fine! S i would deinitely recommend her walking with someone

aerinpegadrak · June 2012

A good rule of thumb is, if they're not old enough to explain to you, in their own words, what their role is and why it's important, they're not old enough to follow through.

If you want her in the processional, I'd designate someone to carry her down the aisle rather than letting her walk. I'd also plan on hiring a sitter to look after her so no one in your family has to miss the ceremony or party if she starts flipping out. If you just want to make sure she's there, dressed up cute and in pictures, dress her up cute and have her in pictures, no title or responsibilities required.

BubbsNBubbs · June 2012

My bestie put her daughter in the FG role at that age. She walked about 1/6 of the way down the aisle and started bawling. Her gma had to come and walk back down and get her and carry her down the aisle. She sat with gma while the bride walked up but once she saw her mom....it was over from there. She got up and was pulling on the bride's gown demanding to be picked up during the vows. The groom picked her up and he held her for the rest of the ceremony.

While it was cute that they held her during their vows....it was admittedly very distracting.

Summer2011Bride · June 2012

Our FG was four and is normally a total ham in the spotlight; on our actual wedding day she got nervous and sprinted down the aisle to her mom (a BM). It was cute and everyone laughed and it worked out fine, but my point is, she was 4, able to know what was going on and everything, and she still got spooked. I don't think an 18 month old will even know what's going on or why she's in front of all these people.

I would have her walk down with someone else or have someone else carry her down the aisle. And have someone else she knows there to take her once she makes it down the aisle.

calliopeia2013 · June 2012

Well, I'm usually vehemently against toddler attendants because they're so unpredictable, but since she's your daughter I understand. Given her age, you should absolutely have someone she knows and is comfortable with carry her down the aisle, maybe your MOH if you have one? Even so, she may start crying many babies that age are easily overstimulated by the noise, crowds, and unfamiliarity of weddings, so someone should be available to take her outside if she has a meltdown. Honestly, I've never seen a child attendant that young NOT have a meltdown, so really, be prepared for it.

mbcdefg · June 2012

Hire a sitter, dress your daughter in a pretty dress and label her in the program as Flower Girl if you wish, and have the sitter carry/walk her down the aisle.

And the sitter can quietly take her outside to calm down if necessary (whereas if someone like your parents were watching her, they might have to leave in the middle of your vows or something).

I personally would not have her hold a sign. Not only because that's just logistically next to impossible for an 18 month-old, but because I'm personally not a fan of those Here Comes the Bride signs anyway.

Kate61487 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_toddler-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d1c80135-ca93-4934-8a2e-8353ec5fa089Post:94e7d2bd-c6f2-4acb-9102-581eeadb86d5">Re:toddler flower girl</a>:
[QUOTE]Well, I'm usually vehemently against toddler attendants because they're so unpredictable, but since she's your daughter I understand. Given her age, you should absolutely have someone she knows and is comfortable with carry her down the aisle, maybe your MOH if you have one? Even so, she may start crying many babies that age are easily overstimulated by the noise, crowds, and unfamiliarity of weddings, so someone should be available to take her outside if she has a meltdown. Honestly, I've never seen a child attendant that young NOT have a meltdown, so really, be prepared for it.
Posted by calliopeia2013[/QUOTE]

I have witnessed one where the baby didn't have a meltdown - instead she was out COLD during the ceremony; her dad carried her down the aisle (she was the niece of the bride, not the daughter)

Like PPs have said there's really nothing you can do to guarantee a toddler do anything. So basically you have to accept the unknown or not have her walk down the aisle. My littlest FG was 5, walking with her older sister, and a total ham. We still weren't sure that she'd actually do it when the time came.

MichaelBrenna · June 2012

Most people seem really concerned about toddler attendents because they're unpredictable but I love them for just the same reason. My youngest FG is will be barely 2 years old at the wedding but I have 4 flower girls, the oldest of which will be 8 and my older cousin is escorting the whole horde of them down the aisle Pippa Middleton style. I can understand why it would be important that your daughter have a role in the wedding, I would just suggest she have a partner, whether an older flower girl or an adult, to go with her.

RebeccaB88 · June 2012

If you're worried enough to ask these questions, then she's too little.

mtbentley · June 2012

Here is what we are doing.. My daughter will be a flower girl. She will be 23 months at the time. She will be with her 9 year old cousin who she knows and will hold her hand. If she gets scared or just doesn't feel like walking my mom will go get her and her babysitter will take her somewhere to play. We want her a part of of the wedding because she means everything to us and I think it will be nice in a few years, when she understands better, we can tell her about how she was a flower girl in mommy and daddy's wedding and show her pictures. So we are going to try and if she doesn't want to then she doesn't want to, NBD.

If my wedding was back in March, when she was 18 months, I probably would have had my mom carry her because she was more shy and would have been very scared to be without a familiar adult. If we were getting married tomorrow I know she would have no problem at all, she would probably love the attention and hug everyone who said she looked cute (she actually does this lol), who knows what she will do by the time August rolls around. You know your daughter better than anyone, but with your concerns it will probably be better just to have someone carry her. She will look just as cute. Whatever you do, have a back up plan, you never know how a toddler will react. And IMO having her carry a sign at 18 months is a really bad idea.

jerzmom114 · June 2012

We had our niece ( who was just over 2 years old) as our flower girl. At the rehearsal, she nailed the flower throwing, blew kisses, smiled, the whole 9 yards. However, day of the ceremony, she passed out cold 5 minutes before we were supposed to walk down the aisle. Her dad carried her and threw her petals ( and no, I did not ask him to, he was being funny) . I think if you want to have her in your BP, go for it, just have a plan B if she starts wailing, throwing a fit, passes out, etc.. Definitely have someone other then your parents be designated to escort her out if she gets antsy (as PP's have said).

Our FG after her snooze

em105 · June 2012

Does she like to ride in a wagon?? If you like the sign thing- have someone pull a wagon down the aisle (decorated of course) and put a the sign on that.

aerinpegadrak · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_toddler-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d1c80135-ca93-4934-8a2e-8353ec5fa089Post:28bda512-32cc-4828-a1ab-94a0715699a1">Re: toddler flower girl</a>:
[QUOTE]Does she like to ride in a wagon?? If you like the sign thing- have someone pull a wagon down the aisle (decorated of course) and put a the sign on that.
Posted by em105[/QUOTE]

Most people here won't advocate the wagon thing unless the child is very securely strapped in (like 5-point harness secure). Children that age haven't really mastered holding themselves up, especially if the thing underneath them is moving, and if the kid takes a header off the wagon, no one short of The Flash is going to be able to catch them before they hit the ground. Nothing like a trip to the ER to liven up a wedding day.

lizsites · June 2012

Aah, ok, the wagon idea isn't bad! Thanks.

I'm pretty well aware how unpredictable toddlers are - I'm not here asking for suggestions because I'm worried she will do something crazy and wreck my wedding. We want her to be a part of it.

I'm asking for ideas on how to keep her from getting distracted because we're on a time crunch. We're going to be in Vegas, and while we're not doing an Elvis-drive-through wedding, we've still got a VERY limited amount of time at the venue. So while normally, her taking 10 minutes to get from one end to the other wouldn't necessarily bother me, it might not mesh very well with our time restrictions.

aerinpegadrak · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_toddler-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d1c80135-ca93-4934-8a2e-8353ec5fa089Post:1393b91e-e3c3-4514-9a5c-3ec650d82b29">Re: toddler flower girl</a>:
[QUOTE]Aah, ok, the wagon idea isn't bad! Thanks. :) I'm pretty well aware how unpredictable toddlers are - I'm not here asking for suggestions because I'm worried she will do something crazy and wreck my wedding. We want her to be a part of it. I'm asking for ideas on how to keep her from getting distracted because we're on a time crunch. We're going to be in Vegas, and while we're not doing an Elvis-drive-through wedding, we've still got a VERY limited amount of time at the venue. So while normally, her taking 10 minutes to get from one end to the other wouldn't necessarily bother me, it might not mesh very well with our time restrictions.
Posted by lizsites[/QUOTE]
I highly, highly doubt that any of the chapels would let you bring in a wagon. There's not a whole lot of room for deviation from the established script with the hotel chapels (which is why we opted to do our ceremony in-suite instead). Just have someone carry her down the aisle. She'll be part of it because she's there, titles and roles won't mean anything to her.

em105 · June 2012

Good call with the safety details!!

The wagons that I was thinking of aren't the terrifying death-trap no-sided wagons of my childhood, moreso the very deep, stable with seats and safety straps/harnesses type that you can get (I think one brand is Step 2).

Good luck!

lb1212 · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_toddler-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:37Discussion:d1c80135-ca93-4934-8a2e-8353ec5fa089Post:8aea295c-819e-4c83-a887-f35b4330361a">Re: toddler flower girl</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to toddler flower girl : It sounds like you're just going for the cute factor which is using your child as a prop. An 18 month old is completely unpredictable and probably shouldn't do this alone. I would suggest that she walk hand-in-hand with the MOH so the MOH can guide her. I would also have a "pick-up" person on standby in case she flips out and starts screaming or crying.
Posted by Mrs.B6302007[/QUOTE]

I think this is a great idea! After she walks down the aisle, have her grandma or grandpa take her to sit with them during the ceremony. After the smooch, you and your hubby can grab her and have her walk between you on the way out.

lizsites · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_wedding-party_toddler-flower-girl?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:37Discussion:d1c80135-ca93-4934-8a2e-8353ec5fa089Post:ed0ab184-82bb-44c5-b8ef-1e49b2d22985">Re: toddler flower girl</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: toddler flower girl : I highly, highly doubt that any of the chapels would let you bring in a wagon. There's not a whole lot of room for deviation from the established script with the hotel chapels (which is why we opted to do our ceremony in-suite instead). Just have someone carry her down the aisle. She'll be part of it because she's there , titles and roles won't mean anything to her.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

We're not getting married in a chapel, hotel or otherwise.

I do think that maybe the wagon idea might be the way to go - Adorable, and keeps her contained. :)

Thanks!

toddler flower girl

Re: toddler flower girl

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