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little worried..

sclawrence11sclawrence11 member
First Comment
in Military Brides
Well ladies im a little worried. me and my fiance just found out that he has to go overseas in june 2012..that kind of ruins things i think. our wedding is planned ofr may 26, 2012..and we already got our honeymoon all planned..he wants to get married before he leaves but all of our invitations say may 26th. any advice would be great..thanks
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Re: little worried..

  • zimgsgirl26zimgsgirl26
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Could you call people you've invited? I'm sure they'd understand if you had to move it up
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You already printed and sent wedding invites for 10 months from now?
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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  • kara811kara811 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Stan. You've got your invites sent out this early or were those just your STD's? You also have your HM booked already? Depending on how many guests you'll have, you can send out announcements and say the wedding has been moved up or postponed or you can also give them all a call, which might be a bit of work.
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  • sclawrence11sclawrence11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    we didnt send the invites yet but they say may 26th..we ordered a few to see how it would look..but we sent the save the dates..and we didnt book the honeymoon yet but we had it set out to where were going and when..we looked at hotels and everything..idk ive hnever had to plan a wedding so all this is new and him gonna be gone is al new too..
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    At the risk of sounding insensitive... This is the military. You have to prepare yourself for the possibility that plans are going to change sometimes without any notice at all. This is EXACTLY why we tell everyone to get military clauses in all their contracts!!

    I'm curious, have you booked things? I would be way more upset about having to rebook a venue or florist than I would be invites. Pick a new date, send out annoucements that say something like:
     "Oops! We had a change of plans!!
    Due to (FI name)'s military career/obligations we are moving our wedding to
    (Whatever date you choose)
    We hope that you can still join us!!"

    talk to where ever you got your invites from and see if they can print you new invites (they will probably charge you a fee since the fault was not theirs, not thats it's yours either.. but they'll probably charge you because they did everything right, but they might give you a discount). If you've booked other things (I really hope you have a military clause) the sooner you can give them notice the better.

    Good Luck.
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  • kara811kara811 member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_little-worried?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:1463160e-2be5-4a26-b1d3-5f0c05ac6b2fPost:1a2a0c6c-6096-4d78-86d7-c57de5359578">Re: little worried..</a>:
    [QUOTE]we didnt send the invites yet but they say may 26th..we ordered a few to see how it would look..but we sent the save the dates..and we didnt book the honeymoon yet but we had it set out to where were going and when..we looked at hotels and everything..idk ive hnever had to plan a wedding so all this is new and him gonna be gone is al new too..
    Posted by sclawrence11[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>You only ordered a few? So samples then I assume? Those can be easily changed. There isn't much harm done since you've only sent out the STDs, you can easily send out notice of change and put the new date on the invites. You can always have your HM later on. Look at it this way, you haven't lost out on any money yet. Do you have military clauses in your vendor contracts?</div><div>
    </div><div>Like Sami, this is the military. Things change quickly, at least in your case it wasn't last minute! You still have time to bump up your wedding or wait til your FI is settled overseas. Where overseas btw? H has been stationed overseas for almost 3 years now, it will be difficult at first, but if you are both willing to work on it, it is so worth it! This is the lifestyle you will be marrying into, you have to learn to get used to the changes. </div>
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  • heather0711heather0711
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I have to agree with Sami and Kara - that was a really long way off to assume that in the military everything was going to go according to plan. 
    If only the STDs have been mailed out, make some phone calls to let people know, move the date, print out correct invites. I think there's plenty of time to move it. 
    And is it just me or is a year away a long time to definitively be told that you will be overseas? I've only had experience with 2 USMC deployments and for both of those FI only knew a few months before he left..
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  • sclawrence11sclawrence11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    hes going to afganastan..we only booked our venueand i kow trhis might sound bad but i have no idea what a military clause is..like i said new to the military thing
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  • heather0711heather0711
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Call your venue ASAP!
    She's always wanted to be a princess and he's always wanted to be a hero; as fate would now have it, she is his princess and he is her hero *Semper Fi* Wedding Countdown Ticker
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  • sclawrence11sclawrence11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    yea. im going to call them tomorrow me and my FI just talked about dates and everything..calling the venue tomorrow
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011

    A military clause is something that is put in any contract with a wedding vendor that states if his duty prevents him from attending his own wedding, that the vendor agrees to transfer the deposit to a mutually agreeable date or refund your money.  Most vendors are happy to do it, and understand that if he deploys it's because he's serving our country (be sure to ask if your vendors offer military discounts, too.  Lots don't, but some do and they won't offer if you don't ask.  I've literally saved thousands of dollars that way).

    Anyway, just make sure your contracts state that if your FI receives orders that prevent him from attending his wedding (not just deployment - he can be denied leave, too), that your vendors will work with you to find a new date or refund your money - caterers are tricky and often want something like "minus any expenses already incurred by the vendor" included in the contract, since if he gets orders a few weeks before they may have already ordered food and would be out that money.  That's understandable, and acceptable (in my opinion).  You can usually get a feeling if someone's going to be a real jerk about it later - our caterer, for example, told me that he'd charge me at cost for any produce that went bad but no labor.  That's a good guy! If someone isn't willing to do this, run don't walk away from this vendor!  You aren't asking something unreasonable, and you need vendors who are military-friendly in case of an unexpected change, as is known to happen in the military.


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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    C gave you a great definition of a military clause. When you call your vendor tomorrow, tell them you want one.  If any vendor says "we don't do that" or flat out tells you no, Say "Okay, well thanks for your time" and leave. That might sound harsh, but if they won't work with you, don't work with them.

    And it's Afganistan... (I'm a huge spelling and grammar OCD nut) Since you're new to the military thing here are 2 good articles about OPSEC and PERSEC.
    http://cinchouse.com/AboutUs/Syndication/tabid/3315/ID/381/OPSEC_A_Wifes_Military_Mission.aspx
    www.milspouse.com/opsec-and-persec.aspx" target="_blank">
    http://www.milspouse.com/opsec-and-persec.aspx

    Let us know how it goes with your vendor(s) tomorrow!
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  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_little-worried?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:1463160e-2be5-4a26-b1d3-5f0c05ac6b2fPost:9d09ef81-0a28-461e-90c1-43dd0dea1a97">Re: little worried..</a>:
    [QUOTE]C gave you a great definition of a military clause. When you call your vendor tomorrow, tell them you want one.  If any vendor says "we don't do that" or flat out tells you no, Say "Okay, well thanks for your time" and leave. That might sound harsh, but if they won't work with you, don't work with them. And it's Afganistan... (I'm a huge spelling and grammar OCD nut) Since you're new to the military thing here are 2 good articles about OPSEC and PERSEC. <a href="http://cinchouse.com/AboutUs/Syndication/tabid/3315/ID/381/OPSEC_A_Wifes_Military_Mission.aspx" rel='nofollow'>http://cinchouse.com/AboutUs/Syndication/tabid/3315/ID/381/OPSEC_A_Wifes_Military_Mission.aspx</a> <a href="http://www.milspouse.com/opsec-and-persec.aspx" rel='nofollow'>www.milspouse.com/opsec-and-persec.aspx</a> " target="_blank" /> <a href="http://www.milspouse.com/opsec-and-persec.aspx" rel='nofollow'>http://www.milspouse.com/opsec-and-persec.aspx</a> Let us know how it goes with your vendor(s) tomorrow!
    Posted by SamiJoeB[/QUOTE]

    Tee heee... for a spelling nut, you might want to re-check that!  Afghanistan, not Afganistan.

    Love ya!

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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Bahaha.. the one time I don't use spell check!!Embarassed
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  • sclawrence11sclawrence11 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks ladies, this is all VERY helpful.
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