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Bridal Party Questions

poppyakapoppyaka
10 Comments
in Wedding Party
I have several questions if anyone could help me I would greatly appreciate it :)
1. We just contracted a wedding consultant and she said that she would need our names of bridal party, including hostesses and ushers. Is it ok have the groomsmen (including Best Man) as ushers or should I get other people to usher?
 
2. I have 4 BR and 4 GR, I was thinking of having 2 hostesses help the wedding planning staff with setting up the favors or wherever they need assistance. Also to greet the guests and pass out ceremony programs. Also have one hostess make sure people sign the guest book at the reception as the other helps out in areas that need it. Does this seem ok or do I have the duties of a hostess wrong?

My FH is concerned and thinks I have too many people involved in the bridal party. He wants people to just come to the wedding and enjoy themselves without necessarily being put to work. Im confused, It's the both of us, 4BD & 4GR, my mom and dad, 2 FG & 1 RB and the Officiant.
I haven't even considered who would be reading during the wedding or anything...I just don't know if my FH is correct is the bridal party getting too big?
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Re: Bridal Party Questions

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    1. It's fine if the GM are ushesrs.

    2.  Unless this is VERY common for your social circle, I'd avoid hostesses all together.  They seem like unpaid labor which isn't a great way to honor your nearest and dearest.  Your FI is onto something that they shouldn't be working.

    Instead, if you're talking to a consultant, that should be someting that SHE is able to work on.

    And since you're getting married well over a year from now, I'd avoid asking people unless you've already done that.  Things can change so the last thing you want is to start to feel like you are 2nd guessing a choice that you can't change.


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  • emilyinchileemilyinchile member
    5000 Comments
    Ditto Banana. People may say to your face that they're glad to be asked, but nobody wants to be the unpaid guest book wrangler or favor setter upper - that's why you're paying a professional. Ushers can pass out programs and greet guests, or you can just leave the programs in some kind of basket at the entrance and greet them yourselves after the ceremony.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Your consultant should be the person setting up the favors and all that.  Your friends do not want to work at your wedding.  Your FI is right.  People want to come enjoy your wedding, not work at it.  You can ask ushers (male or female) if you'd like, or your GM can do it. 

    Reading is an honor and a great way to ask someone else you'd like to honor. 

    Host and hostess are the people that pay for the wedding, who's name goes first on the invitation, and who is hosting the party.  Typically, that is the parents or the couple.  Your friends will not be honored by being asked to work your wedding. 

    And ditto Banana about waiting to ask your WP.  It generally isn't a good idea to ask more than a year in advance, because relationships can change, and once you've asked, you can't go back.  I can't understand what the consultant would need with their names this far out, but please wait to do the formal asking if you haven't already. 
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  • trix1223trix1223 member
    5000 Comments 25 Love Its Combo Breaker
    Listen to your FI on this, because he's right.  Your friends will agree to being a "hostess" because they love you, but is that really what you want for them at your wedding?  To be working?  I'd think they'd be so much happier being a guest and enjoying the party.

    FWIW:  My niece asked me to be the "cake cutter/server" at her wedding.  I agreed because she's my niece.  But it sucked.  It was not something I enjoyed, and I certainly didn't feel "honored" by being given a job to do.

    Let your GM be ushers.  You don't need someone to stand by a guest book and tell adults who know how to pick up a pen and sign their name to pick up a pen and sign their name.

    A coordinator should be able to arrange for all the other things you've mentioned.
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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  • poppyakapoppyaka
    10 Comments

    Thanks for all the advice...I understand what everyone is saying...LOL He'll be glad to hear that he was correct...I really appreciate everyone's advice.

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  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 25000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Let him enjoy this one!

    And come back too! 
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    I was a hostess/guest book attendant in a friend's wedding, and it wasn't that bad.  But the extent of my duties was standing there with the guest book for about half an hour before the ceremony, then I just hung out with the WP for the rest of the day, both before and after.

    But it's kind of an unnecessary job.  If you're hiring a consultant, setup is her job.
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